


Head Of The Pack

by Mrs_Fenris



Series: The Lives of Wolves [4]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Oral Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 19:37:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 40
Words: 74,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13841589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Fenris/pseuds/Mrs_Fenris
Summary: Act 2 For the series The Lives Of WolvesSmut is only in chapter 12, if that's all you're after. ;P





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for me to get through this, but here you are.

Before Hawke knew it, a year has passed, and she was staring at a letter from the Viscount. It asked for her to come to the keep and speak to him right away, it sounded ominous and important.

Hawke “Mother, I must go out, the Viscount has requested my presence.”  
Leandra smiled “That's great dear!”  
Hawke chuckled “I'm not so sure.” She kissed her mother on the cheek and bid her goodbye. She made her way to the Viscount's office, she was shown in by one his attendants.  
Bran “The compound was not meant to be permanent. There are concerns the Qunari influence is… no longer contained.”  
Viscount sighed “Was it ever? Kirkwall has tension enough between Templar and mage, but these Qunari… They sit like gargoyles waiting for Maker knows what, and everyone goes mad around them. Nearly three years I have stood between fanatics, and now this…"  
Hawke “Well don't keep us in suspense.”  
Viscount looked to Bran “Leave us.”  
Bran leaves and the Viscount sighs “Meredith at my throat, Orsino at my heels, and a city scared of heretical giants. Balance is held because the Qunari ask for nothing. Even the space in Lowtown was a 'gift' to contain them. But now, the Arishok has requested you, by name. What did you do?”  
Hawke _'Well, Fenris did say he was interested in me…' _“I got his attention a couple of times, I guess impressed him, but that was some time ago.”__ Viscount sighed “It makes no sense, and it doesn't matter. I just need them quite. I remember how you helped my son. It seems you are meant to have influence above your station. Speak to the Arishok, give him what he needs to keep the peace. Can you do that for Kirkwall, Serah Hawke?”  
Hawke smiled softly “Has time been kind to Saemus?”  
The Viscount grumbled slightly “He is his own man, but your actions tempered him somewhat, he's not so angry at the world. I thank you for that. I may not agree with him on many things, but I am proud of what he's becoming.”  
Hawke nodded “I'm always willing to assist, I'll speak to the Arishok.”  
Viscount “That is an attitude this city has lacked for a long time. Appease the Arishok, let him return to dormancy. As awkward as this has been, it is better than the alternative.”

____

As Hawke was leaving she ran into a breathless Bodahn.Bodahn “Oh! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you, messarre. It only you humans didn't all look the same!”  
Hawke smiled, fond of the man and his son. “Well, we can't all be short and bearded like your people, but I had a rather important meeting with the Viscount.”  
Bodahn “Yes. I was hoping to catch you before you arrived. I came to deliver this to you: the last of the proceeds from that treasure you found in the Deep Roads. It seems your friend Varric found a buyer after all, yes? Quite well done!”  
Hawke chuckled “So you raced here just to give me this?”  
Bodahn “Oh, I didn't want to be responsible for that much coin. Just holding it made my palms sweat. Err, before I go, may I simply say how grateful I am that you've allowed my boy and I to stay in your home? I said I would repay you for saving Sandal's life, and I shall serve you faithfully. It's good to know he is safe.”  
Hawke chuckled “I didn't ask you to be my manservant Bodahn!”  
Bodahn tapped his hand. “But I owe you a debt… and after what happened in the Deep Roads, I have no way to repay you. Your friend Aveline is waiting for your return.”  
Hawke smirked "Let me guess: It was Mother's idea..."  
Bodahn chuckled "Just as you say." 

Hawke had left in her finery so she had to go back to get her armor, if she was heading to the docks, and she could talk to Aveline then. She walked in to her mother's soft smile and Wolf's wagging tail. Aveline looked around “You've settled in nicely.”  
Hawke smiled “It was hard work to get here.”  
Aveline “Indeed. Still, more coin never hurts, right? Say, if someone wanted to pass some work your way..?”  
Hawke smirked “I'm listening. Aveline, what's the trouble?”  
Aveline scowled “A thorn in my side inventing trouble and scaring people. Remember Emeric? The Templar? He wants your help and some sort of official sanction.”  
Hawke frowned “Official sanction?”  
Aveline “For his 'investigation'. He's convinced that every random murder over the past year is connected, and he won't be quiet.”  
Hawke chuckled “Muzzle the geezer, got it.”  
Aveline smiled “I would never say that.”  
Hawke “Seems like it should be easy to prove, if there are bodies.”  
Aveline shakes her head. “Kirkwall isn't the safest place. That doesn't mean every horrible thing is related. There's no sense to that, can't be.”  
Hawke shrugged “I seem to recall he had some good leads.”  
Aveline “Then you won't mind chasing his threads. If it leads somewhere, I'll pick it up. Right now, he's just distracting my men. He's in the Gallows, do what you can. Thanks, Hawke, I'll try not to make a habit of this.”  
Hawke chuckled because she knew, Aveline would. She walked over to her mother.  
Leandra “It's strange, living here again. My childhood home, now owned by my child. It's not something I could have imagined, when I was a little girl, staring out this window. I'm still grateful you used your money from the expedition to buy back the estate. I feel like an Amell again.”  
Hawke stood tall and stuck out her chin. “I'm going to make the name Hawke one to be proud of in this city.”  
Leandra smiled fondly. “I don't doubt it. Your father would have said that, with the exact same look on his face, too. I just wish we could all be together as a family again, one more time. I visited Bethany at the Circle, she seems happy enough. She sent a letter back for you, it's on the desk. I guess I just need to start picking you out a suitable husband.”  
Hawke's eyes widened “And on that note, I'm going to talk to the Qunari, see you later!”  
Hawke got dressed as quickly as she could, and darted out the door. She practically ran to Fenris' door, and knocked heartily.  
Fenris opened the door. “Hawke, where’s the fire?”  
Hawke “Mother started talking about a husband, for me! Had to get out of there.”  
Fenris chuckled “Were you expecting her to chase you down?”  
Hawke looked confused, then down to herself. “Oh, no. I had a meeting with the Viscount, the Arishok had asked to see me. So of course I need the help of my trusty, intimidating, elf.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow. “I do not believe the Arishok is intimidated by me.”  
Hawke smiled “No, I don't think so either.”  
Fenris “Then why did you mention it?”  
Hawke chuckled “Because I like it.”  
Fenris shook his head and chuckled. " You are a strange woman, Hawke."  
Hawke smirked " And that's how I like it. Now, let's go fetch Varric.” She chuckled “He wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to create more two-thirds fiction.”  
Merrill is with Varric and asks to come along. The four of them get to the docks, and are about to enter the compound, when they are stopped by another Qunari. 

Qunari “You are Hawke. A patrol went missing along the Wounded Coast. The Arishok says you have some semblance of honor. So tell me, did you kill them? You have taken on Qunari before, Arvaarad no less."  
Hawke’s eyebrows went to her hairline. _'Please tell me this isn't why I'm here.' _“I don't know what you’re talking about.”__ Qunari “I believe you. If you are not responsible, I waste my time here.”  
Hawke looks to Fenris, who just shrugs, and they walk into the compound.  
Merrill “They’re so big and grim, what do you suppose would happen if I tickled one of them?”  
Varric “Not sure I want to find out Daisy.”  
Arishok “Serah Hawke.”  
Hawke stone-faced, but worried. “Messarre?”  
Arishok “Last we met, I did not know your name, did not care too. You have changed your fortunes over the past year. The Qunari have not. I offer a courtesy, Hawke. Someone has stolen what he thinks it's the formula for the gaatlok, you will want to hunt him.”  
Hawke is uncertain what to say “Excuse me, this sounds like quite the feat.”  
Arishok “It was allowed. The stolen formula was a decoy, Saar qumek- a poison gas, not explosives. A small amount is dangerous to your kind. But if made in quantity, perhaps by someone intending to sell it…”  
Hawke's brows furrowed “That merchant…Javaris!”  
Arishok “Would he be cautious, or would he assume success and make enough to threaten a district? A courtesy, Hawke. You will want to hunt him.”  
Hawke “It took Javaris long enough to come up with this, are you sure it's him?”  
Arishok “Others have asked for the gaatlok, but only he chose to delude himself beyond no. Is a year so long to a hateful fool? I have no way of understanding such weakness. His crime seems obvious. Further evidence could be the deaths of many, I wouldn't wait.”  
Hawke “So, how dangerous doors this fake mixture become?”  
Arishok “It is not a threat to Qunari. For your kind, it's a dangerous as those who breathe it.”  
Hawke “Can you elaborate?”  
Arishok “The gas kills, but first, it turns allies against their own in blind rage. So, the greater the skill of those sent against us, the more dangerous they become to their own people.”  
Hawke “Hard to control at the best of times.”  
Arishok “It is no longer our problem.”  
Hawke turned to Varric “Any idea where we can find Javaris?”  
Varric “I heard about a sell-off, Merchant territories and such. They don't do that unless someone left in a hurry. I’d of figured he rooked some noble. He's sure not a burglar.”  
Hawke waved her hand “Just tell me where he is.”  
Varric “I haven't kept up on the squirt, ask the Coterie.”  
Arishok “Panahedan, Hawke. I do not hope you die.” 

____

They turned and left for Darktown. Hawke turned to Fenris once they were off the docks. “Did the Arishok just wish me luck?” Fenris “It certainly seemed that way.”  
They made their way through Darktown and the smugglers cut, where they were pointed, and found Javaris. Javaris was shaking and cowering behind his hired guards.  
Hawke shook her head. “Calm down, Javaris, your not dead yet.”  
Javaris looked at her. “Grannies knickers, she would send you! I can't buy a break on discount! You know what? Go ahead, take my head and pike it back to that sodding elf! I need the rest.”  
Hawke “What elf? Never mind, the Qunari powder it's not what you think, it's poison."  
Javaris “Wait, you’re tracking for the Qunari? Then she did it, that elf got them after me for nothing. Bitch born!”  
Varric sighed “I knew he wasn’t a burglar, we’re not climbers.”  
Javaris “Look, I'm minding business, same old, when out of the blue some elf tries to kill me. Says she's got the Qunari powder, and I'm her cover. I slipped her, hired some bodyguards, and ran for it. And now you're here, great.”  
Hawke “If you're innocent, you could plead your case to the Arishok.”  
Javaris puts his hands up. “Let's break this down. An elf with explosives wants me dead. Part two: the Qunari think I'm a thief and also want me dead. Either option seem promising? No, didn't think so. Here, I had a man follow her. The elf's in Lowtown.” He hands her a piece of paper. “I just want to get out, with my dead guards, thanks for that.”  
Hawke shrugged “Better luck wherever you're bound, Javaris. The father the better.”  
Javaris “Right. Got me a rosy future to plan, think I'll start by selling boots. Sodding bunch of…take a long breath on a short shaft you… blasted dog lord in roaders.”  
They left Javaris and headed back to Kirkwall. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hawke sighed “Sorry guys, looks like it's going to be a long night. The sooner we get to this elf, the better.”  
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. When they get to the spot a guard is in front of a locked gate, keeping people from their homes.  
Hawke whispers “This looks bad.”  
Guard “All of you, I can't fight the damned air! You want to live, stay out!”  
Hawke walked up to him. “It's there something I can do?”  
Guard “Wait. Messarre Hawke? Maker, please, the street it's death. There was a cloud that drove people mad, and now a seeping mist that kills. All I can do is warn people. If someone like you dies on my watch, I'm right stuffed.”  
Hawke smiled, put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Easy son, keep your post. This is my risk.” They walked past him.  
Guard “But…shit.”  
The people and thieves were mad, attacked anything in sight. The fight was hard, the mist thick, but they eventually got all the barrels off gas closed. Then the elf they had been looking for appears.   
Hawke “Easy, I'm just trying to find out what happened.”  
Elf “Serah Hawke? You have enemies. I'm glad it's you, really, all these poor people. You're a much better target!”  
Fenris tensed and brought his hands to his weapon, ready to protect Hawke in an instant, irritated that this elf wished to harm her.  
Hawke bit her tongue. “You stole the gaatlok, why, to sell? Justify yourself!”  
Elf “Qunari take my people! They forget their culture, then go to the Qun for 'purpose'. We're losing them twice! So, I'll get some help from your people. Take the Qunari thunder, make some accidents, and make them hated! But this… it's all wrong.”  
Hawke clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes. “Which of 'my people' helped you with this?”  
Elf smiled “It can still work, they're hidden all over the city, I just need a few more deaths… just a few more!”  
Her and the others she had with her attacked. Fenris had jumped in front of Hawke, going against the other elf, greatsword against greatsword. Hawke took her daggers and spun around protecting him, and the others, as he went blade to blade with the skilled elf. The elf was skilled, but not more so than Fenris, and her numbers dwindled quickly from Varric's crossbow, Merrill's staff, and Hawke's blades. They exited the ally after they were finished, tired and stinking from the fumes.  
Fenris “Time to tell the Arishok he was right, and wrong.”  
Hawke chuckled “Tomorrow, I'm too exhausted to trudge to the docks. Maker, I'm not sure I'll make it to my door.”  
Merrill yawned “It's been a very long day, and we fought so many people...”  
Varric “I'll take Daisy home, Elf, make sure our sleepy leader makes it back safe. Yeah?” He had a little grin, as Fenris nodded his assent.  
They exited the ally and the guard who hadn't wanted her to go in thanked her and told her that survivors were staying too come out.  
Fenris saw Hawke to her door, where she asked if he would be available tomorrow.  
Fenris nodded “Of course, Hawke.”  
Hawke chuckled weakly. “See you in the… I think afternoon.”  
Fenris chuckled and bid her goodnight. Hawke climbed the stairs and sluggishly removed her armor and donned a night-shirt.   
Hawke slept until midmorning. She rolled from bed, grabbed her house-coat, and after eating the small meal Bohdan had prepared read the letters on her desk.

She smiled warmly at the letter from Bethany, pleased her sister was doing so well and hoped she could find a way for her and mother to visit more often. Mother had only been granted visitation a fortnight ago. There was a letter from Feynriel, he was not doing so well in The Circle as Bethany, he fears that they wish to make him tranquil. There was even a letter from Old Barlin. 

Hawke showered, got her armor on and headed to the market, wanting to spend some time walking in the sun before she headed off to the smelly docks. She saw a ship in a bottle, her mind immediately jumping to Isabela, she bought it and stashed it to give to her friend later. 

Hawke knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She could hear voices, and decided that instead of standing, to just go in.  
She could clearly hear Isabela's voice conversing with Fenris.  
Isabela “So the seneschal's tax collector won't be coming around, again, like you asked. Funny story.”  
Fenris nodded to Hawke, who was waiting by the door. “I'll pass, but, thank you for the help.”  
Isabela frowned “Spoilsport, why you want to squat up here in Hightown is beyond me.”  
Fenris shrugged “I like the view.”  
Isabela gave him a scorching look. “So do I.” And as she left she winked at Hawke.  
Hawke found herself irritated with the pirate, but didn't know why, Isabela was like that with everyone.   
Fenris looked to the side, voice leaving the carefree tone he had moments ago. “A whole year, and there's still no sign of Danarius. I'm beginning to wonder if he's finally given up."   
Rather than think on it further she took the seat the pirate had vacated. “This is his mansion isn't it, he must know you're here.”  
Fenris shifted “Would you be surprised to learn that it isn't, in fact, his mansion? It belongs to a Tevinter merchant, one who has evidently given up on the place. Perhaps he is dead, perhaps Danarius killed him. Either way, if Danarius it's aware of my presence, he's done nothing. He's never gone more than two months without showing his face.”  
Hawke cocked her head “Isn't this what you wanted?”  
Fenris looks away. “Yes, but…” looking back to her. “Tell me: what do you do when you stop running?”   
Hawke chuckled, this was one area she was familiar with. “You start over. Isn't that what you want?”  
Fenris “I don't know how. My first memory is receiving these markings, the lyrium being branded into my flesh. The agony ripped away everything, whatever life I had before I became a slave… it's lost."  
Hawke pressed her foot against his. “You don't remember who you were?”  
Fenris pressed back and then stood. “Fenris is the name Danarius bestowed upon me his 'little wolf', dog is more like it, if I once had another name or a family, then they were taken from me. I shouldn't trouble you with this, you have enough on your mind as it is.”  
Hawke smiled. “You're not trouble, well no more than me.” Her smile turned sultry. “I could help with your problems… or give you a few more.”  
Fenris chuckled. “Only a few?”  
Hawke shrugged. “Depends if I really work at it, but, the good kind of course.”  
Fenris smirked and shook his head. “Tempting.” his brows furrowed. “You're a beautiful woman, Hawke. Are you sure… is there no one else who had your, attention?”  
Hawke blushed, not used to such an outright compliment from him, and tilted her head. _'He seems, hesitant.' _Hawke smirked. “Fenris, do you see anyone else here? No, no one else has my… attention.” She was suddenly unsure, thinking her was uncomfortable with the idea.__  
Fenris' eyes turned to the floor, brows furrowed, as he spoke. Uncertain, why he felt so vulnerable. “I'm an escaped slave, and an elf, living in a borrowed mansion. None of those things bother you?”  
Hawke knew self-deprecation when she heard it, her brows furrowed. “Why do you think that would bother me?”  
Fenris smirked. “You are not most people, clearly. You raise an interesting point. I'll have to… consider it. But enough, we have things to do.”  
Hawke chuckled, smiled, and nodded. “That we do. We should get to the docks, after we get Merrill and Varric.”  
Fenris chuckled “They will undoubtedly want to know the outcome, even though the witch won't understand it.”

___Once the Arishok appeared Hawke explained what had happened._  
Arishok “So, I was wrong about our thief.”  
Hawke frowned “It appears so.”  
Arishok “They say we were careless with our trap, that this is our fault. But even without the Saar qumek there would have been death. That elf was determined to lay blame at our feet.”  
Hawke nodded, and Merrill popped up. “But your feet didn't do anything wrong, did they?”  
Hawke closed her eyes, and sighed.  
The Arishok ignored her. “Selfishness, want, denial- how do you allow this to continue?”  
Hawke “If you dislike Kirkwall so much, why haven't you left?”  
The Arishok bowed his head a moment. “Since we have arrived I have seen nothing but greed and weakness. Dwarves, humans, elves- just festering. No order, no goal. You are one of the few I have met with any ability, and this too was random, a result of selfishness. I cannot fathom how a mire like this can be justified. You say we should leave, but how can you bear to stay in this….chaos?”   
Hawke “It’s an opportunity to make a real difference. We have been over this, Arishok.”  
Arishok narrowed his eyes. “We have. Your kind may force our role to change, if the Qun demands.”  
Hawke “That weak elf made a good effort at using type own weapon against you.”  
Arishok “We have but one weapon, the certainty of the Qun, it cannot be used against us.”  
Merrill “Well of course not, certainty's not pointy enough to make a good weapon.”  
Arishok “And it doesn't matter. I am not here to fight, I am here to satisfy a demand you cannot understand.”  
Hawke’s brows furrowed, and eyes narrowed. “It's been a long time.”  
Arishok “It will take as long as needed. No ship is coming. There is no rescue from duty to the Qun. I am stuck here.”  
Hawke smirked “You could have built a ship by now, you know.” 

__This Arishok stood up. “It is not about a ship! Filth stole from us, not now, not the Saar qumek. Years ago! A simple act of greed had bound me here. We are all denied Par Vallen until I alone recover what was lost unset my command! That is why this elf and her shadows are unimportant. That is why I do not simply walk from this pustule of a city! Fixing your mess is not the demand of the Qun, and you should all be grateful!” the soldiers shifted slightly. “Thank you, human, for your service, leave.”_ _

___Once they get outside the compound._  
Varric “That's an oxman ready to charge, the Viscount should know.”  
Fenris looked to Hawke. “You prodded him for a reaction.”  
Hawke “Hmm. Yeah, I figured, that I would get more information from him that way.”  
Varric stumbled “Shit Sparky! Don't play with the giant's head!”  
Hawke looked at him. “Says the one who was willing to anger him over four sovereigns! This was for Kirkwall, you arse!”  
They both started laughing.   
Varric “Oh, Maker bless you, Sparky, you know how to keep me awake.”  
Hawke smiled “Constant threat of doom? Let's get to the keep.” 


	3. Chapter 3

They get to the Viscount's office, and he says. “Years of nice quite anxiety, gone, along with a whole street.”  
Hawke “The Qunari are blameless.”  
Viscount “Right a mad elf, pushed by zealots. Likely hidden in the very groups I have to appease. The Maker has a grand sense of humor. And the Arishok, I suspected he had no plans to leave. I didn't know it was just as frustrating for him.”  
Hawke “He's a hair from the edge, you need to keep everyone calm.”  
Viscount “I am trying.”  
Hawke smiled “Don't hesitate to send for me if anything else comes up.”  
Viscount “Thank you. I will, you seem to have a better chance with him than I.”  
With that they left the Viscount Keep.

Varric sighed “Let's go to The Hanged Man.”  
Hawke chuckled “I want to stop at the Chantry first.”  
Merrill “Oh, can I come?”  
Hawke “Uh. I was planning to go by myself.”  
Varric chuckled “Come on, Sparky, let's indulge the girl with her first visit to the Chantry.”  
Hawke chuckled “Fine, come.”   
They get inside and Hawke goes to the statue of Andraste. Merrill looks around in awe.  
Hawke sees Sebastian, the Prince from Starkhaven, the one that hired them to kill the Flint company, and Bethany had a crush on. He's arguing with the Grand Cleric.  
Sebastian sighs “I thought it would end here. That young lady, Hawke, decimated Flint company. There were no survivors, but now that I know who sent them, it's harder to see their deaths as justice.”  
Grand Cleric “Death is never justice.”  
Sebastian “I- Hawke, we were just talking about you.”  
Hawke smiled “Carry on. I love to eavesdrop.”  
Varric “Hawke said sarcastically.”  
Hawke frowned “You know, I hate it when you do that!”  
Varric “Hawke muttered in an angry aside to the dwarf.”  
Sebastian "If, uh, you two have a moment?”  
They looked back to the Prince.  
Sebastian “I've learned who hired Flint company: The Harimann's, a noble family from Kirkwall. They were my parent’s allies, it's hard to believe they betrayed us like this.”  
Hawke “This is why the cycle of violence never gets broken.”  
Grand Cleric “You jest, but that is the truth of it.”  
Sebastian “I must speak with Lady Harimann and find what drove her to this madness. But I am the last off my line, I should not go alone and make myself a target.”  
Hawke mock pouted “Why it's everyone looking at me?”  
Varric sniggered “I don't know why Choir Boy here didn't just yell 'Hawke to the rescue'? That's clearly what he was going for.”  
Grand Cleric “If this allows Sebastian to make peace, it is worth doing, you've taken on lesser causes.”  
Sebastian “Please, I have no one else to turn to. If you like I can travel with you until you confront Lady Harimann. Otherwise, you can always find me here in the Chantry.”  
Hawke chuckled. “Come on then."   
Sebastian smiled and followed them, on their way out of the Chantry Varric and Merrill took lead.  
Hawke “We can go tomorrow, if you like, today you get to meet the rest of the group.” She skipped ahead to join the others.   
Fenris turned to Sebastian. “She was always going to help, she just enjoys sarcastic bantering with the dwarf.”  
Sebastian “I see. Where are we going to meet the others?”  
Fenris “The Hanged Man.”

Once inside Hawke told the others to head back, that she would get the pirate.   
Hawke “Isabela, you look well.”  
Isabela “Are you talking about the flush on my cheeks? It must be the whiskey. Do you remember the relic I told you about, the one I need to find? I've been following a lead, I'm so close I can taste it!”  
Hawke raised an eyebrow. “Isn't that what you said last time?”  
Isabela “Oh, you mean when I went digging for that stash?”  
Hawke “Yes, that turned out to contain several badly written poems and an old boot.”  
Isabela smiled “It could've contained the relic! I just thought I'd let you know, that I may soon be taking you up on that offer of help.”  
Hawke chuckled “Always willing to assist, Bela.”  
Isabela “Thanks, I appreciate it. If I learn anything new, you'll be the first to know.”  
Hawke chuckled “Hey, I got you a gift.” She handed her the ship in the bottle.  
Isabela “Oh, what's this? Oh, isn't that just the cutest little thing?”  
Hawke chuckled “You can't see it, but below deck, there's a perfect replica of you with a dozen sailors in attendance.”  
Isabela “You tease. I'm sure there isn't. It's a worthy goal to work towards, however.”  
Hawke smiled “I saw it and thought of you.”  
Isabela smiled “Thank you, Hawke. This was a thoughtful gesture.”  
Hawke chuckled “Come on, there’s someone I want you to meet.”  
Isabela sauntered up the steps, took one look at Sebastian, and sat on his lap. “Mmm. Fresh meat.”  
Hawke chuckled “Sebastian, you can kick her to the floor, we all do. That's Isabela, pirate, and occasional tag along.”  
Sebastian took Hawke's advice and unceremoniously dropped Bela on the floor. She got up like nothing happened and took her usual seat. Hawke took hers Varric turned.  
Varric “Let me ask you something, Hawke.”  
Hawke smiled “This sounds ominous.”  
Varric “You made it into Hightown, I'd expect anyone else to get complacent, but you must have plans.”  
Hawke “No plans yet, just trying to look after my mother.”  
Varric's smile faltered slightly. “After what happened with Sunshine, that's probably good thinking. To be honest I thought there might be a chance you'd want to go back to Ferelden, now that things have calmed down. It's good to hear you're sticking around.”  
Hawke smirked “What would I do without my trusty dwarf, I’d cry myself to sleep without you.” She sobered some. “Besides, Kirkwall needs me.”  
Varric “If nothing else, you give this town respectability, my friend. So, shall we get started?” Varric got out the Wicked Grace cards.  
Hawke chuckled “Sebastian, you don't have to play, I don't.”  
Sebastian “I'm a fine player, deal me in. So, Hawke, you're from Ferelden?”  
Hawke smirked “Let's get this out of the way. Yes, I’m Ferelden, I have an annoying uncle, a doting mother and a group of crazy friends.”   
Merrill “Oh, yes, we’re quite crazy.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow at Hawke.  
Hawke sighed “Okay, fine. Fenris isn't crazy, just insane by proximity.”  
Fenris rolled his eyes.   
Varric chuckled. “I think I'd rather be tagged crazy.”  
Stories shared, drinks were drunk and introductions made.

Several hours, and drinks, later.  
Sebastian “Hawke, I'm quite curious, why don't you wish to return to Ferelden?”  
Hawke chuckled “Because I'm rich here?”  
Isabela “That and if you and your cousin were to get to close, the world would explode!”  
Sebastian blinked “Pardon?”  
Hawke sighed “Like I said, crazy.”  
Sebastian “So who is this cousin?”  
Hawke shrugged “Heard of Anabell Amell?”  
Sebastian “The Hero of Ferelden?”  
Hawke chuckled “That's the one, she's my cousin. My mother is from the Amell line here in Kirkwall.”  
Anders tapped Sebastian on the shoulder. “It's that supposed to be Andraste's face on your crotch?”  
Sebastian “What?”  
Anders “That…belt buckle thing. It's that Andraste?”  
Sebastian “My father had this armor commissioned when I took my vows as a brother.”  
Anders “I'm just not sure I'd want the Maker to see me shove his bride’s head between my legs every morning.”  
Hawke spluttered her drink across her pictures. “Anders!”  
She got up and shook them off. “No use, the ink smeared.” Hawke frowned at Anders.  
Anders “Why it's that my fault?”  
Isabela flicked s card at Sebastian. “Alright, let's just get this over with.”  
Sebastian “A duel?”  
Isabela “No, the sermon. The finger-wagging, the guilt trips, telling me an unexamined life isn't worth living.”  
Sebastian “I wasn’t going to-“  
Isabela “You weren't? You weren’t going to tell me to comfort the needy, and give freely of myself?”  
Sebastian smirked “From what I hear, you already give of yourself quite freely.”  
Isabela smirked “Ooh, you got me there. He's not bad, let's keep him, Hawke.”  
Sebastian frowned “I'm not some puppy.”  
Hawke chuckled “Good because that would just give me a jealous Wolf to deal with.”  
Wolf came and sat beside her, having decided to find her, and barked.  
Hawke chuckled “Hey, love, miss me?”  
Wolf barked and plopped his head in her lap.  
Hawke smirked “Okay, how about I take you with me tomorrow to play 'set the nobles on fire'?”  
Wolf barked and wagged his tail happily.  
Isabela sighs “I wish I was a dog.”  
Hawke snorted, blinked. “Why?”  
Isabela “Because, I'd get to see you naked, and finally see that illusive tattoo!”  
Aveline rolled her eyes “Shut up, whore.”  
Anders “I didn’t know you had a tattoo, Hawke. Can I see it?”  
Hawke chuckled “I'll tell you all the same thing I told Bela: the only way you see my tattoo is if I take you for a tumble, and that’s not happening.”  
Anders and Sebastian both blushed, which made Isabela chuckle.  
Fenris was quite for the rest of the night, thinking.


	4. Chapter 4

The night came to an early end. Aveline and Sebastian walked back to Hightown together an hour before, Anders headed to his clinic and Isabela walked Merrill home.  
Fenris and Hawke were walking in silence when Fenris spoke. “Would you like to come back for some wine?”  
Hawke smiled and nodded, following him in. “Want to help me set nobles on fire tomorrow?”  
Fenris chuckled. “Sure.” He went and got a bottle of wine.

The bottle was half gone before anyone spoke.   
“Fenris, you've been usually quiet, and tense.”  
Fenris sighed “I'm sorry. I have just been pondering what you said.”  
Hawke chuckled “Which time?”  
Fenris shifted nervously. “About your tattoo.”  
Hawke blushed when she realized the way it would have sounded to him. “Right, well, obviously that's different, because you're different, and I didn't mean it that way. I um, that was uhh just.” She blew a harsh breath from her mouth. “I just wanted her to stop pestering me, and then I figured it would, kind of, work for the others as well.” She sighed and laid down on the floor. “Maker sure likes making me look like a fool in front of you.”  
Fenris “Did it work?”  
“Huh? Oh, well, sort of. She said she respected my decision not to tumble with whoever I met, like her.”  
Fenris sorted “Really?”  
Hawke sighed. “I don't remember it that well, I was exceptionally drunk.”  
Fenris frowned “Is it the same night… I found you threatening to shiv you're uncle?”  
Hawke chuckled “Yup. Though I'm not entirely certain, she may have decided to try and find my tattoos that night, if I had stayed.”  
Fenris nodded “Very likely.”  
Hawke sighed “I still remember the very embarrassing talk I had with my parent's when James started to court me…” she chuckled  
Fenris looked at her, noting the blush doting her face, she was at the talkative point she got to. “What talk?"  
Hawke chuckled “Only thing worse than your parents giving you the birds and bees talk, is the magic birds and bees talk. I don't get it. What do birds and bees have to do with that?”  
Fenris chuckled “Hawke…”  
“'Oh, dear, men will say many things, but you must protect yourself and the family'.” She sorted  
Fenris' brow furrowed “I don't understand.”  
Hawke looked into his eyes. “Oh. Mages can't be, um 'intimate' without their partner knowing they’re a mage, or it can get messy.”  
Fenris stared at the fire to cover the flush the tinted his cheeks at the word intimate. They had been flirting and even, small chaste kisses, but had never gone beyond that. Fenris hadn't wanted to, to many bad memories, and he had never felt a desire to. Lately, though, he had been having wandering thoughts.  
Wondering what she would feel like, naked, against him. How she would look, what sounds she would make. And the conversation they had earlier wasn't helping, in fact, it was doing quite the opposite. It probably didn't help that she was laying on his floor, sighing, while her smell wrapped around him.  
“Fenris…”  
He looked back at her. “Yes?”  
Hawke patted the space next to her, and he found it much to easy to lie next to her.   
Fenris _'This is ridiculous, preposterous, I shouldn't even want this! Want her! Why do I want her, like this, I've never wanted anyone?' __  
Hawke sighed and curled into his side, her hair tickling his skin, while she tapped her fingers on his chest plate.  
Hawke smiled softly at Fenris' side. She enjoyed curling up next to him, he was warm and always smelled like leather, lyrium and a masculine scent all his own. Her brain was pleasantly fuzzy, and as she breathed him in, it began wandering to the feel of his skin. The way his muscles would flex and ripple under her hands, the sighs when she would work out the tension. Her alcohol addled mind supplied her with another way to ease tension, she bit her lip, and damned Isabela._

___Her hands began drawing circles on his chest as she tried, vainly, to steer her mind in a different direction. She began growing warmer and felt a pressure between her legs, she sat up._  
Fenris lamented the loss, but when he sat up, he saw her face was much redder than usual, and wondered what caused it. “Hawke?  
“Huh? Yes?”   
“Are you okay?”  
She sighed “Yeah, I should probably get back home. Before I fall asleep on your floor, again.” She chuckled.  
Fenris got to his feet, helped her to hers, and made sure she got home safely.  
Hawke woke with a start drenched in sweat, vaguely wished she'd had a nightmare, and breathing hard. She'd dreamed of Fenris, intimately, and wished she hadn’t asked him to come along this day. Fenris likewise dreamed of Hawke in such a state, and also wished he hadn’t agreed to come along today. 

___Varric met Hawke at her breakfast table._  
Hawke grumbled “Why are you here?”  
Varric chuckled “Think I'm going to miss out on a chance to give Choir Boy some color?”  
Hawke smirked “Fine.”  
After she was ready to go they went first to Fenris'. And much to Varric's glee, they both blushed profusely and refused to meet the others eye. Sebastian met them outside in the courtyard. And they headed to the Harimann’s. The door was open when they got there.  
Sebastian “That's strange, the doors wide open. And not a single guard posted.”  
Hawke smirked “Like my house….minus the open door.”   
Sebastian “This is not the Lady Harimann I remember.”  
At the top of the stairs. “There is something very wrong in here.”  
They get further into the place and come upon a brunette woman shouting at a wine cask.  
Flora “More! You lazy son of a bitch! What's taking so long?”  
Sebastian “Flora?”  
Flora “Why does no one in this house care what I want? More wine! Or I swear I'll drown you in the dregs!”  
Varric “That sounds familiar. I don't envy anyone in this household tomorrow morning.”  
Sebastian “She doesn't even see us! This is no normal wine.”  
Varric and Sebastian walk ahead, but Fenris stops Hawke. “Can you feel it?”  
Hawke nods “Yes, very powerful blood magic.”  
Fenris puts a hand on her low back. “We should be wary.”  
Hawke pats Wolf on the head. They walk into another room.  
A cauldron over a fire. A male elf holding a knife to a female elf's throat, and a nobleman.  
Man “More logs! It must be molten! You, more coins, I want every scrap of gold in the house!"  
Elf girl “Please Messarre!”  
Man “There’s nothing to fear, you'll be beautiful. Pour it over her!”  
Sebastian “Don't, you'll kill her! He can't hear me.”  
The other elf walks towards Sebastian with the knife, and Sebastian knocks him out with a well-placed punch. The girl runs.  
Man “Perhaps I should be the one…”  
Sebastian “We must end this madness!” 

___Further in._  
Sebastian “I visited this house often, as a child, they could not have concealed such goings on.” They head up a flight of stairs. They come to a chamber with another noble man and a female elf, former Dalish by the markings, in their small-clothes.   
Raxton “Oh… lower… lower….”  
Sebastian “I beg your pardon, Hawke. I didn't mean to expose you to such things.”  
Raxton “No! The feather! Use the feather! Where have you been all my life? Today, I am more than a man! Come, felicitate me!”  
Varric chuckled “Rivani is going to be sore she missed this!”  
Sebastian “He had no idea we’re even here! I've known Raxton Harimann my whole life, he's a complete prude!”  
Raxton “Where's your brother, let's ask him to join us…”  
Hawke scrunched her face up. “Let's go.”  
Raxton “Now you be the naughty apprentice, and I'll be the Templar torturer.”  
Hawke sighed “Oh, Maker. That's going to take a while to get out.”  
They head down to the basement, where the three crazies are.   
Flora “Turn back. There's nothing here for you.”  
Hawke “We just want to know what's happening.”  
Flora “You shall not enter!” they dropped and demons surrounded them.  
Sebastian “Demons, temptresses!”  
Hawke and Fenris shared a look and then got to fighting.  
Sebastian “We must see what greater evil they were protecting.”   
Hawke spotted a longbow and put it in her pack. While they headed down into a ruin that had been unearthed. They fought through shades, skeletons, rage demons, revenants, and an arcane horror.   
Hawke stopped “You know, this place is horrid.”  
Fenris nodded “Behold the glory of Tevinter. I can guarantee, all these bones are those of slaves.”  
Hawke frowned. “Well, let's go kill the demon lover and be done with this place.”  
Fenris “Indeed.”  
Sebastian “Demon lover?”  
Hawke sighed “Yeah. How do you think all these demons got here, a rainbow?” 

___The very next room holds said demon lover._  
An old noblewoman, Lady Harimann, is kneeling at a desire demons feet. “More, you must give me more. Starkhaven will not submit. I put that idiot Goran Vael into the prince's seat, but the other families will not heed him. I must marry him to Flora and solidify our hold, but I need more power.”  
Fenris whispers “It's always the same.”  
Demon “I've given you much. Your desires run deep. You've already traded your husband and your children, what more can you offer?”  
Hawke scowled “At the Blooming Rose, fifty silver's standard for a whore.”  
Demon “You'll hardly find my services standard.”  
Lady “Who is this? Who are you? How did you- Sebastian?”  
Sebastian “You were my mother's friend, how could you murder her?”  
Demon “Such an ugly word. I prefer: removed the only obstacle between her and her dreams.”  
Sebastian “This was your idea!”  
Demon “I could create such desires, if I wished. It's far easier to nurture that already exist.”  
Hawke scoffed “Demons, always take the easy way just like the mages who bow to them.”  
Demon “The desire for power is easy to find. You and your friend both possess it, do you not? You both wish to rise.”  
Hawke scoffed “Not if it meant selling out my pack! That the best you got?”  
Demon “How loyal are your friends to you? Everyone has a price, everyone wants something.”  
Sebastian “Do not listen to her!”  
Demon “Oh such a pious soul, making such ambition. Are you so different from my Lady? You yearn for the same lands, the same power…”  
Sebastian “I am the rightful heir, she is a usurper and murder!”  
Demon "You swore to put aside worldly goods and ambitions. But they couldn't stop you from wanting them.”  
Hawke “I will hear no more from you!”   
Shades popped up, and of course, Harimann was a blood mage.  
Hawke was hit with a blood spell, trapped, the blood attacking her. She let out a strangled growl, and Fenris saw red. He pinpointed the blood mage and phased over, stuck his hand in her chest, and ripped out her beating heart. Hawke fell to the ground with a relieved gasp, Varric and Sebastian's arrows taking down the last two shades, Fenris went to her.  
Fenris put his hand on her back. “Are you alright Hawke?”  
Hawke chuckled “Maker, that was painful.” At the worried look in his eyes, she added. “Yeah, Fenris, I'm okay. Thank you.”  
As she got up Sebastian spoke. “Let us go to the Chantry, I must pay for Lady Harimann's soul.”They got back to the basement, Flora was there.  
Flora “Sebastian! I am so… sorry is such an inadequate word. When I think of what Mother made us do… what those creatures made us do…”  
Sebastian “We were friends, Flora!”  
Flora “It was like a cloud came down on me. All I could feel or think is what the demon allowed. “  
Hawke stepped forward. “It's not your fault, your mother gave you to it.”  
Flora “I doubt many people will be so forgiving. If it takes every last coin my family owns, I will make reparations to everyone we've wronged. Starting with you, Sebastian. We weren’t the only ones vying for Starkhaven. You'll have my support.”  
Sebastian “It will not make up for what happened.”  
Flora “No, that's true.”  
Sebastian “I'll tell you when I need you.”  
Hawke “Can we get out of demon town now?”  
Chuckling they left for the Chantry, per Sebastian's request. 


	5. Chapter 5

Sebastian “I had hoped prayer might cleanse me of the desire demon's touch. But, I still hear her voice so clearly. I feel like I've bathed in filth that will never come off.”  
Hawke smirked “I felt like that in the Deep Roads. Wash behind the ears, evil usually gets stuck there.”  
Sebastian “The demon didn't lie. I used to be bitterly jealous of my brother. I wanted to be Prince. Now, everything he had is mine, and he lies in ashes. I keep asking if I want this because it's right, or because I never thought I could have it.”  
Hawke “Do you have an answer?”  
Sebastian “No. It cannot be right to lead an army to Starkhaven with such doubt in my heart. I owe you more than I can say Hawke. I will offer my service to you here, before I move on.”  
Hawke smiled “I can think of a few services for you to perform…” _'With his help, maybe I can get in to see Bethany, or at least Mother can visit more.' ___  
Fenris narrowed his eyes at the prince. _'She flirted with him! Why would she do that? Why does it feel like there's a pit in my gut?' ___  
Sebastian “Why are you smiling like that? Oh, oh my. I need to pray…”  
Hawke blinked “Why do you need to pray? Why are you blushing?” she thought for a moment, then her eyes went wide. “No! That's not what I meant! It's my sister! No that sounds worse.” She took a deep breath. “My sister is in the Circle, and I thought you may be able to help me and Mother see her more, that’s all I swear! Honestly, but if you want to help me, do it because we're friends. There's no debt between us.”  
Sebastian “Have a good soul, Hawke. It was truly the Maker who led you to me.”  
Hawke handed him the bow she had found, it had his family crest on it.  
Hawke “I think this is yours.”  
Sebastian “My grandfather's bow! But… where did you find this?”  
Hawke chuckled “On a dead Flint mercy at the Harimann estate.”  
Sebastian “Thank you. It's hard to mourn the loss of a thing, while my family lies dead. Though I did think of it.”  
Hawke frowned “I, I’m sorry I never got the chance to meet them, to save them.”  
Sebastian smiled “I know. You're a true friend, Hawke. You brought me this to remember and honor them. But if I could bring back our lowest servant by snapping it in half, is do it, without regrets.”  
Hawke smiled “I know. Come to The Hanged Man?”  
Sebastian nodded and followed. Fenris stared a hole into the back of the prince's head, until Varric nudged him with a knowing grin on his face. 

After some time at the tavern Hawke volunteers to get the next round, she looks at Fenris. “Help me?” He nods and they leave.  
Once away from Varric's suite, she nudges him. “What's wrong, you’re irritated.”  
Fenris looks away, and gruffly says. “Nothing.”  
Hawke frowns, and sighs. “Fenris, don't lie to me, please.”  
Fenris sighs “Not here.”  
Hawke smiles softly. “Okay, your place in two hours?”  
Fenris nods and walks back with half the drinks. Hawke frowns, he's being short with her and she doesn't like it.  
Fenris sits back down and Sebastian talks to him. “Are you Andrastain, Fenris?”  
Fenris “If I say no, will you attempt to convert me?”  
Sebastian “Many elves believe in the Maker. I only ask because I wonder if your… experiences soured your faith.”  
Fenris looked at his hand and raised his eyes. “My faith was never that strong to begin with. It's difficult for a slave to have faith in someone who abandoned them.”  
Sebastian “The Maker didn't enslave you, Fenris.”  
Fenris growled, done with the subject, and the prince. “He didn't help me much either.”  
Sebastian “Yet here you stand, free. Perhaps he helped you more than you think.”  
Fenris looks to Aveline to escape the conversation. “I understand your named after a famous knight?”  
Aveline sighs “Everyone always brings up the name.”  
Fenris smirked, in his voice. “I've not heard of Ser Aveline, if she very famous?”  
Aveline raised an eyebrow. “Really? They don't tell over her glorious downfall in Tevinter?”  
Fenris “Not to slaves.”  
Aveline “Pardon my saying so, but thank the Maker for that.”  
Fenris “You do not like your name?”  
Aveline sighed “My name was a wish my father made, and I did want to be a knight…”  
Fenris “I see. Still is a good name, a strong name.”  
Aveline “What were you named after?”  
Fenris shifted, it was nearly imperceptible, but Hawke saw it. And she then realized how intently she had been staring at him, she flushed and stared at her parchment instead.  
Fenris “I don't know my real name. My master called me 'Fenris' his little wolf.”  
Aveline “Couldn't you call yourself something else, now?”  
Fenris chuckled “Couldn't you?”  
Aveline laughed “A fair point.”  
Hawke smiled to herself, pleased that Fenris was less irritated. She mindlessly sketched, as she wracked her brain to try and figure out what had upset him. 'Maybe, the ruin… no it had to be more than that.'  
Her train of thought was seized when Aveline spoke to Isabela.  
Aveline “How are you so successful with men? You're not that pretty.”  
Isabela “Cast a wide enough net, you're bound to catch something.”  
Aveline laughs “At least you're willing to admit it.”  
Isabela smiled “Trust me. I've heard 'get away from me, you pirate hag!' more times than I care to count.”  
Aveline “Doesn’t that bother you?”  
Isabela “Why should it. They don't know me, I know me.”  
A game, some coin and two drawings of scratches later.  
Aveline looks Isabela and says. “You're right. “  
Isabela smiled “Oh, goodie! What about?"  
Aveline “About knowing who you are. I'm Captain of the Guard, I'm loyal, strong and I don't look too bad naked.”  
Isabela smiled “Exactly. And if I call you a mannish, awkward, ball-crushing do-gooder… you'd say?”  
Aveline smiled “Shut up, whore.”  
Isabela chuckled “That's my girl.”  
Sebastian “You don't like me, Guard-Captain?”  
Aveline “I’ve no issue, so long as the fight for your title remains in Starkhaven, exactly like it hasn't.”  
Sebastian “Should I apologize for trying to take back what is rightfully mine?”  
Aveline “Whatever it takes, no matter the cost?”  
Sebastian “It feels like your blaming me for some personal experience of yours.”  
Aveline “I was at Ostagar, good people die when leaders do whatever it takes.”  
Sebastian “Good people know the necessity.”  
Hawke stood up, palms flat on the table. “You have no right to say that!”  
Sebastian looks at her confused. “I'm sorry, Hawke?”  
Hawke snorted. “Don't say you’re sorry. You weren't there, you don't get to decide that is was necessary. Men eaten and skinned and desecrated is not necessary, nor was it necessary to leave them hopeless!”  
Fenris' hand was on her shoulder, Aveline was giving her the look.  
Hawke took a deep breath, sighed and sat. “I'm sorry, Sebastian. It was unfair of me to say such things to you.”  
Sebastian nodded. “It's okay, Hawke. I apologize for what I said, as well. Though if you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen.”  
Hawke smiled kindly. “Thank you. I think the whole disgusting ruin and getting hit with that spell has me on edge, not that it excuses my behavior.”  
Aveline's eyes widened. “What spell?”  
Hawke coughed and looked at the ceiling. “A, um, blood spell.”  
Fenris sighs “It was blood wound. I'm familiar with the spell. Danarius used it on enemies often.”  
Merrill gasped. “Hawke, that must have been very painful.”  
Anders “You should get some rest, healers orders. Want me to walk you home?” he smiled hopefully.  
Hawke chuckled “I'm fine, Merrill. And thank you Anders, but that’s quite out of your way.”  
Fenris found himself pleased at the sad look the abomination sported. “Come, Hawke. They are right you should rest.”  
Hawke chuckled and saluted him. “Yes, Ser.” She giggled at his eye roll, and bid everyone goodbye. 


	6. Chapter 6

They walked through Lowtown in silence. Once they got to Hightown Hawke turned to him. “I'm not going home, we are going to your place.”  
Fenris stopped, and by the look in her eye, he could tell she wasn't going to drop it.  
He sighed “Very well.”   
Once they got into his room Hawke turned on him. “Why have you been so upset today? Is it because of that ruin?”  
He sighed, and rubbed his neck. “No.”  
She frowned, and put her hands on his shoulders. He refused to look her in the eye, causing her to frown deeper. “Please, tell me, did I do something?”  
Fenris wanted to escape her gaze, but didn't want her to let go, he was in uncertain what to do.   
Hawke dropped her hands and sat on the bench with a sigh.  
“Hawke…”  
“I'm sorry, for whatever…”  
He sighed and sat next to her, stared at the fire and put his arm against hers. “I didn't like you… flirting with the prince.”  
Hawke looked at him. “But, I didn't flirt with him.”  
Fenris sighed “I know… it just seemed like it at the time. And after, when I knew it wasn't flirting, I still was irritated with the prince. I'm not certain why.”  
Hawke chuckled “I felt that way when Bela was here yesterday, and when she gave you that look, it irritated me. I think we were jealous.”  
Fenris “Hmm. You may be right.”  
Hawke smiled, glad he had relaxed. “Never been jealous like that before. Over toys, or normal families, sure.”  
Fenris chuckled. “You wanted to be normal? Perish the thought.”  
Hawke chuckled “Even a little wolf girl wants normalcy once in a while.”  
Fenris pulled away, and stood up. Turned and gave her knee watering smirk, causing her to instantly flush.  
“Hawke, you should rest. That was a nasty spell, try drinking some water, it'll help.”  
“He didn't just use that spell in battle did he?”  
Fenris shook his head.   
“You get some rest too, okay. I need you… uh, I mean tomorrow, err on the Coast.” She shook her head, and buried her face in her hands.  
Fenris pulled them from her face, a fond smile on his. “I'll see you then.”  
Hawke chuckled “Right. Think the day I can talk without putting my foot in my mouth around you will come soon?”  
Fenris smirked “I rather hope not.”  
Hawke's eyes widened. “Why, you enjoy me embarrassing myself?”  
He shrugged. “It's…endearing.”  
Hawke blinked. _'He likes it?' _She chuckled and bit her lip.__  
His eyes zoomed in on her lips, he wondered if she'd taste of blackberries, his cheeks tinted pink.   
Hawke gave a sighed that turned to a chuckle at the end. “I should probably get back home. We have a long day tomorrow.”  
Fenris nodded and walked her to the door.

___The next day._  
Aveline had met Hawke outside the keep and asked if she could come, she was worried about what had happened the day before, and wanted to keep an eye on her. Hawke sent her to see if Sebastian was free and wished to join them on the Coast. She had also received a letter from Solvitus asking if she would get him some more ingredients, one of which was on the Coast.  
Hawke knocked on Fenris' door.   
Hawke smiled “Ready for a nice relaxing stroll on the Coast?”  
Fenris chuckled “As if anything you do, doesn't come with a side order of bloodshed.”  
Hawke chuckled “Yeah, but, hey at least it's never boring!”  
Aveline walks up. “It's okay to be boring one in a while, Hawke.”  
Hawke smirked “Yeah, yeah. Come, on Wolf! Let's show these fellas how to see the Coast!”  
Wolf barked and spun in a circle. They get to the north side without any trouble and find the flower.  
Fenris “Why call it Harlot’s Blush, if it's blue?”  
Hawke shrugged. “Why call something Demon Weed when it had nothing to do with demons? Let's see if the lost patrol is on the south end.” 

___They fight a few Raiders, and when they find the patrol it had been killed by an abomination. Once they're dead, a commotion draws Hawke's attention. A group of guards is pinned down by Raiders._  
They show up in time to see a guard take an arrow to the head.  
Aveline “Lieutenant Harley?”  
Harley “Aveline? Thank the Maker.”  
Hawke “One of yours, I presume?”  
Aveline “Harley was recently promoted.”  
Harley “This disaster, my first routine assignment.”  
Hawke “I happened to be in the area, seeming sights, picking flowers and killing bandits, the usual.”  
Harley scowled “Not the best time for jests, bullocks.”  
Aveline sighed. “She's not jesting, this is her usual.”  
Harley looked at Hawke with a raised eyebrow, Hawke shrugged. “I get bored easy.”  
Harley “We’re up against Everts Marauders.”  
Aveline scowled “You're certain about that?”  
Harley “Fell Orden's up there, and Viktor Longdeath's handiwork you've already seen. We tried two sorties up the path, but it's trapped to oblivion. Now I'd be thankful just to get out of here alive.”  
Fell “No fair, guard dog. You've brought friends.”  
Harley “Shut your mouth!”  
He laughs. Hawke sighs. “Fell Orden? Viktor Longdeath? What are you talking about?”  
Harley “They've been robbing and raping, for Maker knows how long. Did a broad daylight assault on the keep to rescue one of their men, two years back. Fell Orden, a blood mage is here. Viktor Longdeath, and Sophie.”  
Aveline “Maker, you certainly drew a fine first detail.”  
Hawke “The longer we wait, the more of us they’ll kill. Let's attack now.”  
Harley “I'm with you, but my men may be to rattled to join us.”  
Hawke nodded, then looked to the men. “Everts Marauders, they’re just men, flesh and bone. Flesh can be torn, bones broken. Alone, they will pick you off on by one. Together, we’re unstoppable! I'll go first, and take care of the traps, you'll follow. On me!” 

__Hawke was as good as her word, the traps were taken care of before the raiders even knew she was there. Then the fight started, in earnest, guards and her group working in tandem. The blood mage got Hawke in a blood wound spell, he was a difficult and nasty foe. The guards were focused on the underlings, while Aveline and Fenris attacked Fell Orden. Once he was dead Hawke fell on her bottom, getting up herself this time. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and Fenris looked at her worriedly._ _

___Hawke smirked grimly. “That should be the last of them.”_  
Harley “They're all dead? I…I can't believe it. I'll tell Lieutenant Jalen at the keep what you've done, and make sure he rewards you.”  
Aveline “Good work, yourself Lieutenant. Make sure the others know it.”  
Harley “Men, we’re heading home heading home.”  
After they’re away, Hawke chuckles. “That sounds like a good idea.”  
Aveline “Are you alright?”  
Hawke chuckles mirthlessly “Getting hit by the same blighted spell two days in a row, not much fun. I think I'll go home-“ she rolls her shoulders and groans. “and sleep for a year.”  
Fenris walks her home, at her door. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
Hawke sighs. “I'm really tired, so I'm going take a nap. Mind if I stop by later?”  
Fenris smirked “I’d… like that. Just let yourself in, I'll leave the trap off.”  
Hawke chuckled “Then I'll see you later, goodbye.” 

___She and Wolf walk inside to be greeted by Sandal._  
Sandal claps “I like the doggie.”  
Wolf barks, then Sandal, then Wolf and again Sandal.  
Bodahn laughs “Heh. Looks like they're having a nice chat. Maybe Sandal picked up some mabari speak from our time at the Hero of Ferelden's camp.”  
Hawke chuckled “I didn't know you knew her.”  
Bodahn “Aye. She saved our lives once, and we traveled with her. Brought her goods, and she was quite fond of Sandal.”  
Hawke smiled “Did you know she's my cousin?”  
Bodahn's eyebrows went up. “I didn't know that, no.”  
Hawke chuckled “I never met her, of course, but she is an Amell.”  
Bodahn chuckled “Isn't that funny.”  
Sandal walked over and handed a rune to Hawke.   
Sandal “Boom!”  
Bodahn “Huh. There he goes, again. How he makes these things I'll never know.”  
Hawke “I've never seen another dwarf like him. Does this run in your family?”  
Bodahn “Not at all, but Sandal isn't really my son. I found him in the Deep Roads when I left Orzammar for good. Raised him as my own though. Isn't that right, my boy?”   
Sandal clapped “I like Bodahn!”  
Bodahn “He's always been this way, collecting things and enchanting them, strange I suppose.”   
Hawke “Have you ever thought of finding out more?”  
Bodahn “Well, I did. I brought him to the Circle of Magi about a year after we got to the surface. They called him a savant. Then they started looking at him like they were going to keep him, so we left. Not going back to those vultures, Sandal's happy as he is.”  
Hawke smirked “Perhaps he'll be the first dwarven mage? Wouldn't that be interesting.”  
Bodahn “I don't know… the actual mage's don't do enchanting. Just those who had their magic taken away.”  
Sandal “Tranquil!”  
Bodahn shudders “Yes, them. Ancestors know what’ll happen to him when I'm gone, I try not to think about it.”  
Sandal “I want some pie.”  
Hawke walked up to her mother. “I had a long day, I'm going to take a nap, love you.”  
Leandra smiled “Alright, love, get some rest. I'll wake you for supper.” 


	7. Chapter 7

After her nap, and supper, Hawke went to visit Fenris. When she got there the candles on his table were lit, and three empty wine bottles sat next to them. And he had one in his hand.   
Hawke 'Has he been drinking since he got back?' She shook her head.   
Fenris smirked “Last bottle off the Agreggio. I've been saving it for a special occasion.” He handed the bottle to her.  
“And what's that?” she took a drink from the bottle  
He shifted “The anniversary of my escape.” She handed him back the bottle. “Astia valla femundis.” He leans forward as she sat down. “Care to hear the story?”  
Hawke smirked “I enjoy listening to you talk.”  
Fenris looked at her, almost the way Isabela does, gave her his knee watering smirk, and his voice took on an extremely, gravely tone making her cheeks flush as he said. “There are few pleasures greater than speaking with a beautiful woman." He sat back in the chair, voice changing from the almost seductive tone he had a moment before. "Let's see… You've heard of Seheron? The Imperium and the Qunari have fought over the island for centuries, now. I was there with Danarius during a Qunari attack. I managed to get him to a ship, but there was no room for a slave. I was left behind, I barley got out of the city alive.”   
Hawke “I thought Danarius considered you valuable?”  
Fenris laughed “He want given a choice. The look on his face as the ship pulled out… was priceless. There are rebels in the Seheron jungles called Fog Warriors. They found me and took me in, nursed me back to health. I stayed with them for a time, until Danarius finally came for me.”  
Hawke scowled “He was relieved you'd survived, right?”  
Fenris “Relived to see his investment hadn't ended up in Qunari hands, perhaps. I’d… grown fond of the rebels. They bowed to master and fought for their freedom. It was…beyond my experience. When Danarius came, they refused to let him take me.” He took a drink. “He ordered me to kill them… so I did.” Anguish filled his voice. “I killed them all.”  
Her voice void of emotion, she could tell that this was something he needed to tell her just as she needed to tell him about James. “Why?”  
Fenris sighed “It felt inevitable, my master had returned, and this…this fantasy life was over. But once it was done, I looked down at their bodies…I felt…I couldn't. I ran, and never looked back.”  
“Didn't Danarius try to stop you?”  
“The rebels had wounded him. The soldiers he brought attempted to capture me, unsuccessfully. It was weeks before Danarius was able to mount the hunt in earnest, but by then, I was already gone.”  
“Couldn't you have found other Fog Warriors, become a rebel?”  
“Even if I did, I felt… unworthy. I had no way off knowing if I could truly escape from Danarius then, I didn't even know what that meant, I simply had to get away. I stowed aboard a ship to the mainland and moved south… chased by my former master every step of the way.”  
“I have to wonder why you stayed with Danarius as long add you did?"  
“Hmm. You have not been a slave. A slave does not dream of freedom, or wonder at possibilities. You think only of your master's desires, and what the next hour will bring. It did not occur to me that I could be anything else, until I had a taste of it.”  
“But, there are stories of slaves rebelling all the time, they did in Kirkwall.”  
He nodded “The ritual that gave me my markings, also stripped me off my memory. Whatever I was before, may as well have never been. Perhaps if I knew, I might have felt differently.”  
Hawke was quite for a moment, trying to imagine what it would have been like strapped to that pole, without even any memory to give her the vaguest hope of rescue. “How well did you know these Fog Warriors?”  
“I knew them only a few months, but in that time, I felt as if I truly lived. They were bold, strong and free with their affections. I was in awe of them, and owed them everything.” Anguish and guilt filling his voice. “And I turned on them even so.”  
“This isn't easy to talk about.”  
He took a drink, brow furrowed “I've never spoken about what happened, to anyone. I've never wanted to. Perhaps, this is what it means to have a friend.”  
She bit her lip, cheeks flushing slightly. “It might mean more than that.”  
He stopped bottled halfway to his lips, and dropped it back to his lap. “I… have never allowed anyone too close. When my markings were created, the pain was extraordinary, and the memory lingers.” His voice softened, a soft smile on his face as he looked at her from beneath his bangs. “But you are unlike any woman I have ever met, with you it might be different.”  
Her heart sped up, slightly breathless. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”  
He looked away and shrugged. “If there was someone before, I have no memory of it.”  
Not what she meant. “I…no one after you escaped even?”  
“I stayed nowhere for long, who would I trust? I didn't think I needed anyone, or wanted anyone.” His voice took on a slightly breathless quality. “Until now.”  
Her blush deepened. “Oh, my. We, we could find out…”  
Fenris smirked “On another evening, perhaps. A last toast, then.” He raised the bottle. “To the fallen.”  
They had been sitting in silence awhile, when Hawke shifted.  
“I… I've.” She blew out a breath. “I've never… either.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed as he searched for the last thread of conversation. He flushed when he realized what she said. “You haven't?” Came out, before he could think better of it.  
“No, I was like you, kind of, I guess. I didn't want anyone, either. Didn't want anyone close, touching me, seeing my scars. I had decided that it wasn't for me, and I was okay with that, but you… I-I want you…” she was playing with her hands, her eyes looking everywhere but at him, her face flushed and lip bitten into her mouth.   
Fenris nodded, and reached out his fingers caressing her lips. Her breath stuttered, as his thumb runs over her mouth. “Maker…” she breaths and he takes his hand away, blushing.   
Hawke gives a startled kind of laugh. “You're drunk.”  
Fenris chuckles “I believe you are correct.”  
“How much have you drunk?”  
His brows furrowed “I don't know.”  
Hawke chuckled “Come on, you should get some sleep.”  
Fenris nodded “Sleep sounds nice.” She helps him take off the metal pieces of his armor, and his belt, and tucks him into bed. “Goodnight, Fenris.”  
Fenris smirked “Goodnight, Hawke.”  
Hawke left, reset his trap, and went home. She couldn't get what happened out of her mind.

The next morning Hawke went to The Hanged Man.  
Blushing a deep red, and holding a bottle of Bela's favorite rum, Hawke knocked on the pirate's door.  
Isabela opens the door, ready to rip the throat out of whoever thought it was okay to bother her this early. “Hawke?”  
“I know it's early, well early for you, but I have a-a proposition.”  
Isabela drags her gaze over Hawke, noting her deep blush and slightly disheveled appearance.   
“Well, I've had worse seductions.”  
Hawke's eyes go wide. “What! I'm not seducing you!”  
Isabela eyeing her greedily. “Shame that.”  
Hawke huffs, already feeling embarrassed and self-conscious, blushing deeper and looking anywhere but Bela. She holds out the bottle of rum. “Look, I need some advice.”  
Bela's eyes alight. “Oh, why not go see Varric. He is your advice guru, for everything.”  
Still refusing to meet the pirate's gaze. “ I need the kind of advice only you can offer.”  
Isabela opens the door further, and motions for her to come in.  
“So, sweet thing. What can Aunty Bela do for you?”  
Hawke opens the bottle of rum and takes a hefty swig before shoving it into her arms. Steeling herself with a deep breath. “I need help with, a-advice on I-I it's. “   
Hawke bites her lip, clenches her fist then blurts. “I need help for sex!”  
Bela chuckles as Hawke sinks into a chair and buries her head in her hands.  
“Now, sweet thing, feeling a bit out of practice?”  
Hawke grimaces. “I've never been 'in practice' Bela.”  
Isabela’s eyes fly open. “What!”  
Hawke flinches, making the pirate feel guilty. “I told you remember. “  
Her easy smile sliding back into place, as though it never left. “You never told me that, I would remember.”  
Hawke glares at her.   
“You said that you don't do casual sex, not that you were a virgin. If you had told me that, well I have a discount at the rose.”  
Hawke continues her glare, Bela sighs.  
“Honestly, sweet thing, you are absolutely scrumptious. I have a hard time believing no one ever got into your hidden treasure.”  
Hawke sighs and looks away from the pirate. “Did you miss the fact that we never stayed anywhere long, or maybe the fact that we had to keep a low profile?”  
Isabela laughed. “I just find it hard to believe no one ever explored your deep roads, Hawke.”  
Hawke cocked an eyebrow. “Really? That's what you're going with?”  
“Hmm, what about. 'Kaddis your Katie? Groped your grinder? Grey your Warden? Oh! How about ‘satisfy a demand of your Qun’?”  
Hawke was unable not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, bringing an air of joviality and easing Hawke's tension.   
“So, sweet thing, tell me what has that spiky elf done to get your attention?”  
Hawke's face flushed again. “Ugh! Is it that obvious?”  
The pirate laughed. “Oh, kitten. I owe Varric three sovereigns.”  
“Why?”   
“Hmm, oh we had a bet going. I thought you and the elf were already knocking boots.”  
“You did, but why-why would you think that?” Hawke's voice going a bit shrill at the end.  
Bela chuckled. “The two of you are practically joined at the hip,” wiggling her eyebrows suggestively “he actually seems a bit relaxed when you are around not to mention his jealousy problem.”  
Hawke's brow furrows. “Fenris doesn't get jealous. Well, just once, but even Sebastian thought I was flirting.”  
Isabela just shakes her head. “You really don't see it?”  
Hawke cocks her head. “See what?”  
Isabela chuckled. “He practically growls whenever Anders touches you, he glares menacingly-“  
“He hates being around Anders, and that's just his face, stop making stuff up.”  
Isabela leans forward. “I'm not making this up sweet thing, he even glares at me when he catches me ogling your tits and arse.”  
Hawke frowned in thought.   
Bela chuckled. “Okay, tits first.”  
Hawke sighed “Fenris doesn't have breasts, Bela.”  
Isabela “Oh, how do you know?”  
Hawke not paying attention. “Because I massage his back, frequently.”  
Isabela “Wait, you rub his back, but don't have sex?”  
Hawke “I don't see what they have in common?”  
Isabela “Well, tits first.”  
Hawke sighed “Bela.”  
Isabela “You want my advice, then you get it all.”  
Hawke sighed “Fine.”


	8. Chapter 8

Hawke got home and Bodahn informed her that she had messages. I've was from Arianni, Feynriel's mother, asking her to come and speak with her in the Alienage. One was from Elren, Lia's father, thanking her and giving her an update on Lia. The last was from the Viscount, more trouble with the Qunari. She went to get her Qunari expert, hopefully he’d be up to it.  
Fenris nodded and grabbed his sword when she asked if he'd come. They got to the keep and Bran showed them to the Viscount.   
Hawke “What's happened?”  
Viscount “It's a shame, he was making overtures of cordialness. Your influence, no doubt. A Qunari delegate and entourage paid me a visit. It was civil, tentative, hopeful. They left my chambers with precision, but were not reported by the outer guard. They missing almost literally from my doorstep. What do you imagine will be the Arishok's reaction?”  
Hawke frowned “Not good. We need to get out in front of this, and fast.”  
Viscount “I feel I've been trying to turn a stampede for some time, now. Someone is pushing very hard. Speak with Seneschal Bran, and you will see why I cannot trust anyone else with this. I don't know who would benefit from war with the Qunari, but will cost all of us.”  
They head out to Bran.  
Hawke “You have information about the missing Qunari?”  
Bran “I am to help you, yes. Viscount Dumar would appreciate discretion in this matter. I would prefer that you were not involved at all, but that is neither here nor there.”  
Hawke “I'm having a hard time picturing the abduction of a Qunari entourage.”  
Bran “Unfortunately they were not at their best. Their swords were tied into their sheaths, as I advised. It seemed a respectful compromise, even I know you cannot part a Qunari from his weapon.”  
Hawke “Has anyone reported this to the Arishok?”  
Bran “Maker, no! I'd be signing the messenger's death warrant. He’ll find out soon enough, and when he does, the Viscount is right to be concerned.”  
Hawke “I'm sure you have suspicions about what happened.”  
Bran “This could not have escaped the notice of the city guard, unless they were involved. A number of recent recruits have failed to report, you should start with them. Although where you find a swordsman so eager to sell his honor and duty, I'm sure I don't know.”  
Fenris “The Hanged Man.”  
Hawke smirked “No question.”  
Bran “Right, then you know what to look for. I can't imagine this has occurred without notice, always a weak link. Please keep this quite.”

They headed to the barracks.  
Hawke “Aveline, I need some help at the Hanged Man.” She filled her in on what happened, and they headed to the Hanged Man. On the way there Aveline spoke.  
Aveline “Alright, I'm just going to say it. Fenris you need to present yourself better.”  
Fenris “What are you talking about?”  
Aveline “You're squatting in Hightown. I sympathize with your claims, but your neighbors have influence.”  
Fenris “My claims?”  
Aveline “To the estate. Rightfully stolen isn't exactly something I can forward to the Viscount. Be more discrete about… yourself.”  
Fenris “I shall endeavor to exist with less offense.”  
Hawke shook her head as they entered the tavern.  
Aveline pointed out a man at the bar.  
Fenris “Expensive tastes for this place.”  
Oswald “That's right pal, today I'm paid and blessed. All I had to do was turn my head.” He  
walks over to a table. “To all my friends! Hey, step back! I know important people in this city. We're going to show everyone what to do with heathen ox men.”  
Hawke smirked “Guard Captain, would you like to have a word with your man?”  
Oswald's eyes widened. “Guard Captain?”  
Aveline “Who?”  
Oswald “What?”  
Aveline grabbed him by the collar “Who?”  
Oswald “Who what? I don't…”  
Aveline “Who bought you? Who bought the honor of a proud guard of Kirkwall, and made him a drunken mabari bitch!”  
Oswald “I don't…I don't know. He was a templar, I swear! He had the seal of the Grand Cleric and everything! It's true!”  
Aveline let him go “The penalty for abandoning your post is ten days on the wall. I expect you to report in the morning.”  
Oswald whimpers and leaves.  
Aveline “There’s your answer, a templar.”  
Hawke “With the Grand Cleric's seal, no less. Thank you, I'll let you know if I need anything else.”  
Aveline smiled “Alright, I'm heading back to the barracks.”  
Fenris and Hawke headed to the Chantry. Hawke took a few things from the chanters board.  
As they're walking in, Fenris comments. “So, on the word of a drunk, we intend to accuse the Grand Cleric of funding zealots?”  
Hawke smirks “Don't forget the kidnapped Qunari, that too.”  
Fenris “Freedom was interesting while it lasted.”  
Hawke “So little faith?” She walks up to a sister. “The Grand Cleric, please. Tell her… tell her 'Three Qunari leave an estate and let her finish it.”  
Petrice “Serah Hawke.”  
Hawke “Sister Petrice?”  
Petrice “Mother Petrice, time has changed us both. The Grand Cleric is a busy woman. What do you want?”  
Hawke “Strange how you and issues with the Qunari go hand in hand.”  
Petrice “And you always assume their side. When last we met, I did not want you dead, but I felt a death was necessary. You must admit, you came out the better for it.”  
Hawke narrowed her eyes. “A Templar may have misjudged an order, and abused the Grand Cleric's seal.”  
Petrice “I assure you, a templar would never embarrass the Chantry. Not risking the Knight-Commander’s wrath.”  
Hawke scowled. “Men were hired for the 'righteous' tasks of kidnapping a Qunari delegate.” Petrice scowled “A pause that says you knew but does her grace?”  
Petrice “The Grand Cleric trusts her stewards to enact the wishes of the Maker.”  
Hawke smirked “It sounds like you've been bad. This will shock her grace, no doubt.”  
Petrice “Stubborn. Alright, Serah Hawke. If you won't abandon this, let me offer you something. The templar you seek is a radical who had grown… unreliable. Confronting him may do us all a favor.”  
Hawke “And he is what to you?”  
Petrice “He is my former bodyguard, Ser Varnell. Assume what you wish, but I offer him to you as… reconciliation. Meet me at this location. I invite you, Serah Hawke. Come see the unrest these Qunari have inspired.”  
Fenris chuckled, after she was gone. “She is a poor conspirator.”  
Hawke sighed “It's her game, for the moment. We’ll need some back up.”   
She got Sebastian from the Chantry, and informed the Grand Cleric about her seal being used, then went to get Merrill from her home.  
On the way, Fenris spoke to Sebastian.  
Fenris “The Maker didn't free me.”   
Sebastian “I see you've been thinking about what I said.”  
Fenris “I freed myself, if the Maker did anything he watched. Why should I thank him for that?”  
Sebastian “Is it so hard to believe the Maker cares for you? Maybe he gave you the chance to escape.”  
Fenris “It doesn't feel like the Maker cares for me… or anyone.”  
Sebastian “We all make our own choices to do good as well as evil. That's our doing, not the Maker's.”  
Fenris “Perhaps. It's… been a long time since I gave it any thought.”  
Sebastian “It’s not too late to start.”  
They collected Merrill and went to the docks to inform the Arishok.  
Arishok “What do you want, Hawke? I have no interest in adding to my distractions.”  
Hawke “And yet you sent a delegate to the Viscount.”  
Arishok “It was a brief attempt to educate. These fools are determined to be wrong. I won't waste the effort again.”  
Hawke “A courtesy, Arishok. The delegate and his guards are missing.”  
Arishok “Anyone else, and those words would have been their last. You are handling this? Not your buffoon of a Viscount?”  
Hawke “I am.”  
Arishok “Then I will wait. But know this: the provocations we have suffered have worked. If this is not resolved, I can fulfill my duty to the Qun with far less annoyance by sifting through rubble.”  
They leave and Merrill says. “You know, I think we’re under enough presser without the help.”  
They head to the meeting spot and can hear Varnell and his rhetoric as they get closer.   
Varnell “Like any beast, remove the fangs and it is lost. They are weak before the faithful of the Maker. The only certainty in their precious Qun is death before the righteous!” he hits one of the bound Qunari.  
Petrice “Ser Varnell!”  
Varnell “Take a knee faithful. The Chantry blesses us.”  
Petrice “You claim a blessing when you have used the authority of the Grand Cleric so openly? You have brought wrath down upon you. You remember Serah Hawke? The Qunari have friends, Templar. How will you answer their allegations?”   
Hawke narrowed her eyes at Varnell, a snarl on her face. “You want a fight? Face someone whose weapons are not bound!”  
Varnell slits the Qunari’s throat. “Righteous! Destroy them!”  
The fanatics keep filling in, but go down easily, they aren't well trained.   
Hawke sighs “All right. Time to bring this mess to the Viscount's attention.”


	9. Chapter 9

The Viscount comes down to the warrens, and were it not for the massacre, it would be an interesting picture.  
Viscount “Madness, madness!”  
Hawke “Yes, Excellency.”  
Viscount “Chantry involvement… even if they are the fringe elements. It could not be worse.”  
Sebastian “Her grace had no knowledge of this affair. I trust she'll deal with it swiftly.”  
Hawke _'I don't.' _  
Viscount “You killed them… all of them?”  
Hawke “This group, at least, is crippled.”  
Viscount “Then that, at least, is something. Not that it matters now. We have the delegate, but I can't return the bodies to the Qunari in this condition. Serah Hawke, you know the Arishok. What should I do?”  
Hawke shook her head “Hiding this would only make it worse.”  
Viscount “It would, wouldn’t it. I'm losing my sense of how to balance this nightmare. I appreciate your help in this matter. As bad as this is, it could have been worse, without you. Kirkwall owes you, I owe you.” He shakes her hand.  
Hawke heads to the docks, wanting to inform the Arishok about what happened.  
Arishok “So, you could not rescue my delegate, but you killed those responsible. How do you explain the condition of their body's?”  
Hawke “A fanatic used them to incite others of his kind.”  
Arishok “I accept that.”  
Hawke’s eyebrows raised. “I expected worse.”  
Arishok “I have seen every vice and weakness of your kind, and how few of you take responsibility. Your Viscount remains a fool, but you are not. Panahedan, Hawke. I will keep one good thought about your kind.”__

__Upon leaving the compound.  
Hawke chuckled “Well, that's wasn’t what I expected.”  
Fenris nodded “I believe you have earned his respect, Hawke.”  
They head to the Hanged Man, and have a drink. _ _

__Fenris and Hawke walk back to Hightown.  
Hawke sighs “Today was very long.”  
Fenris nodded “Indeed.”  
The reach her door. “Goodnight, Fenris.”_ _

__He nods and leaves. The next day Hawke head to see Arianni. She sees a familiar crest in the Lowtown bazaar. It Varric's family’s, so she buys it. Hawke makes her way to the Alienage.  
Arianni “I was hoping you'd come, you've done so much for Feynriel already, but… He refused to see me, but I know he's chafing at the Circle's way that keep the demons from him. And now they've taken him! Two days ago, Feynriel went into a nightmare and hadn't returned.”  
Hawke “I've had experience with mage’s nightmares. Both my sister and father were mages. What do you need of me, is there anything I can do?”  
Arianni “Keeper Marethari thinks an ancient elven ritual can help. But someone he trusts must enter the fade to guide him out. I've already called for the Keeper, we need to begin the ritual as quickly as possible.”  
Hawke “Alright, let me go get some backup, and I'll return soon._ _

__Hawke knocked on Fenris' door.  
Fenris smirked “Yes?”  
Hawke chuckled “So, how'd you like to come to the fade?”  
Fenris blinked at her. “What?”  
Hawke explained what was going on. “He needs help, and Aveline is busy, and well I’d rather like your help.”  
Fenris chuckled “Very well. You're not taking the witch, are you?”  
Hawke raised an eyebrow. “Take Merrill to the fade to rescue someone from demons, I'm not that crazy. I was thinking Varric and Isabela.”  
They agreed as well, and the for of them headed to the Alienage._ _

__As they're walking the Isabela throws out. “Come to me, and I'll take you places you've never been.”  
Varric “Isabela are you talking to Bianca?”  
Isabela “She deserves to feel a woman's touch on her trigger, don't you think?”  
Varric “Bianca responds to my touch alone, she'd never give it up for you!”  
Isabela chuckles “That's what they always say, and I always prove them wrong.”  
Varric “Stop it, you're confusing her… and me.”  
Hawke “We’re here, so please stop talking.”  
Arianni “Thank the Creators you came back in time. Marethari is here!”_ _

__They head into Arianni's house.  
Marethari “I came quickly, Arianni. I did not wish to tell you by letter how gave your son's condition is. The magic he possess makes him what the Tevinter's called somniari, a dreamer. Dreamers have the power to control the beyond, what humans call the fade. Feynriel is the first in two ages to survive.”  
Hawke “Then we shouldn't wait, let's do this.”  
Arianni “I told you her courage was legendary!”_ _

__Marethari spoke and said Hawke might have to make the boy tranquil, she agreed, but only if she had absolutely no choice left. They went into the fade, and she felt weird being there with others, worried her abilities would be exposed to Isabela.  
Fenris “Let us remain no longer than we must, nothing here is real.”  
Hawke “Come, Feynriel must be trapped further in.”  
They walked through the fades templar hall coming to a sloth demon who she refused to help and, after she got information for it, killed.  
Hawke opened a door and saw a young Feynriel practicing writing with his father.  
Demon “That's it, Feynriel, hard on the down stroke, then lift. Good! I'll have you scribing all my letters soon. If I'd known you were such a bright lad, I'd have brought you into the business years ago.”  
Feynriel “Does that mean I can come work with you in Antiva, father? Mother said maybe this summer, right, Mother?”  
Hawke looked down at herself. 'I'M his mother? Great.' Her voice even sounded like Arianni's. “You're father never wanted anything to do with you. Don't trust him.”  
Feynriel looks to his father/demon “Why are you lying to me?”  
Demon “Don't listen, son. She's always been ashamed of you. She wanted you gone so she could go back to the Dalish. I'm the one who loves you.”  
Feynriel “But… why can't I remember you?”  
Hawke “If that was true why would she have protected you from the circle for so long? This is a trick Feynriel, fight it. He wants something from you.”  
Feynriel “Why...? That's right! I spent my whole childhood waiting for you.”  
Demon “Your mother never allowed-"  
Feynriel “My mother loves me! She showed me the letters she wrote you, you never wrote back. It was Mother who taught me to write, not you. I've never met you, who are you?”  
Demon “Don't… question…” it's cover failed and it revealed itself. “Me!”  
Feynriel screamed and ran.  
Demon “You, you turned him against me.”  
Hawke smirked “Complete accident. I was trying to help, honest.”  
Demon “Take away my pets, I'll take away yours. How loyal are these friends you drag into the fade? Would your pirate queen stay, if the open water beckoned? What do you say, sweetheart? A two mast brigantine- square main topsail… a hundred well-built lads to answer your every whim. I know you've been looking for a stiff masthead.”  
Isabela “Mmm.”  
Hawke smirked “Should I turn around now to let you stab me in the back? Or would you rather it be a surprise?”  
Isabela “You are just the sweetest!”  
Demon “The Sirens Call Two waits in Kirkwall harbor, I'll be under the furs in the Captain's quarters.”  
Isabela “I like big boats, I cannot lie.”  
Hawke takes Isabela out in one precise blow, wary of letting her take to the field. Hawke had to admit to herself that she was a bit relieved that 'Bela was no longer in the Fade, that she wouldn't have to worry about a slip up either from herself or a demon.  
When they leave Fenris says. “It's a wonder any mage could come to the fade without falling prey to such creatures.”  
They go through the next door where she becomes Orsino. Feynriel is on a stage with Marethari.  
Demon “My people, I present to you… our hope. His features may mark him as human, but in his heart beats the blood off the Dales! He is now, a prisoner of the circle, but through us he shall find freedom!”  
Feynriel “I… I don't know what to say.”  
Hawke “This is a trick.”  
Feynriel “First Enchanter, what are you doing here? Mother told new the Dalish are honorable, why would the Keeper lie?”  
Hawke “Why would she entrust her people to a human?”  
Demon “You are one of us, Feynriel, your magic will restore our greatness.”  
Feynriel “But, I can't even control my magic. The circle says I have power, but no gift for using it.”  
Hawke “Could the elves trust you with the power to shape reality?”  
Feynriel “I-“  
Hawke “Could you trust yourself?”  
Demon “Don’t listen to him, the First Enchanter it's trying to keep you from realizing your greatness.”  
Feynriel “Trying to keep me from temptation… from demons! What are you? Begone fiend!” he ran.  
Demon “You, why did you interfere? With my power, joined to his, Feynriel would have changed the world!”  
Hawke “The boy only wants his freedom, not your power.”  
Demon “Those who are free to choose, always want power. You think your friends are different? You think this slave would choose you over his freedom?”  
Fenris “Cast your eyes elsewhere, demon. I won my freedom from the magisters long ago.”  
Demon “But you fear them still. They left their marks on your body, and your mind. With my aid, you could be free forever. You could have power enough to challenge any who would chain you.”   
Hawke “You won't be free Fenris, you'd be a prisoner in your own mind, it would use your body to hurt innocents.”  
Hawke felt exceptionally powerful magic wash over Fenris. “But… to face then as an equal? I.. What would you want from me?”  
Demon “A moment of your time, nothing more.”  
Hawke sighed. The battle was extremely difficult. Varric fell to Fenris' blade and Hawke only survived because she creates phantoms to distract him long enough for her to get the fatal blow.   
After the demon lies dead, she alone the only one standing, she heads out and sees Feynriel._ _

__Feynriel “I'm not sure if this is real. If so, it's the second time you've saved my life. The fade feels different now. I can see the stitches, the seams holding it together. I feel I could wake any moment.”  
Hawke smiled softly “Dreamers control the fade, and the dreams of people in it. You must learn to master your abilities.”  
Feynriel “I see why the Chantry fears us. I've heard tales of magisters who stalked their enemies and used their own dreams to destroy them. You're right, I must master it, find someone to study under. The Circle will only fear me more, if I reveal what I can do. I cannot stay there. Perhaps, Tevinter. If these powers can be trained, it is there. My mother would not look kindly on such a journey. Can you give her my farewell?”  
Hawke “May the Maker guide your path, Feynriel.”  
Feynriel “Perhaps there is a way out of this. I can do this.” He opened a hole and went back to his body, Hawke woke up.  
Hawke “Feynriel has mastered his powers.”  
Arianni “Then he lives, you saved him? I cannot thank you enough. I must go see him at the Circle, he may forgive more now.”   
Hawke "Feynriel is leaving, there is no one in Kirkwall to help him."  
Keeper “It is wise for him to seek guidance. Kirkwall cannot provide what he needs. I truly did not think what you did was possible. You are a rare human, indeed.”  
Fenris “And I must apologize for my weakness. I would have thought myself above such influence."  
Isabela “Does this mean I'm not getting my ship? Bugger it all!”  
Keeper “Your friends awakened here, some time ago. We all have weaknesses the demons find. You accomplished a miracle with Feynriel. This book belonged to the last dreamer if or tribe. It has a rare magic beyond price. Please, accept it with my gratitude.”_ _


	10. Chapter 10

They all went and had a drink at the Hanged Man, a few hours of a silent Hawke and Varric's worried.  
Varric “Okay, Sparky, say something.”  
Hawke dug into her pocket and pulled out a ring. “Here.”  
Varric “My father's signet ring? Where did you find it? Bartrand sold it to pay for the expedition. I can't believe you found it! This sounds exactly like the sort of fake thing I'd make up about you.”  
Hawke chuckled “When you tell people, mention that I got it from the belly of a dragon.”  
Varric “I'll throw in a couple of werewolves and a griffon for balance. Well, I guess I'd better start answering my mail from Orzammar. Bhelen's court just reminds me to much of family dinners with my cousins. Anyway, I owe you one Hawke. I'll put you on my tab.”  
Hawke chuckled “Look, I'm going to go home.”  
Fenris stood with her. “I'll walk you.”  
Hawke shrugged. “Sure.”

They get to Hightown, Fenris stops her with a hands on her shoulder. “Would you like to come in for a drink?”  
Hawke sighed “I don't think so.”  
Fenris frowned “Please, Hawke?”  
They walked in and once by the fire Fenris turns to her. “I have been thinking about what happened in the fade. That a demon could have played so easily on my fears… disturbs me. I failed you. I won't let that happen again.”  
Hawke shook her head. “The demon was using magic on your mind, it as simple as that.”  
“And yet she didn't manage to in influence you.”  
“You have no idea the amount of magic, the sheer power of it, that she used on you. Made me nauseated. And, as my father once told me: no one is above temptation.”  
“But, you are upset with me.”  
She shook her head “No. I just, can't get it out of my head. You with my blade lodged between your ribs, piercing your heart. That's all, I'm not upset with you at all.”  
“Hmm. As for the boy, we shall see what becomes, and if he regrets the mercy you provided. But that is not important now. Let us hope we face nothing similar in the future.”  
They spent the night in silence, as she tried to banish the image from her mind and he vowed not to let her down like that again. 

Morning came, and Hawke went to see Merrill, as she had requested.  
Hawke knocked on the door.  
Merrill opened it. “I've got something to show you, come and see.” She leads Hawke to her quarters, where a large mirror with no reflection stood. “It's beautiful isn't it?”  
Hawke smirked “Of all the giant mirrors in your house, Merrill, this one is easily the nicest.”  
Merrill smiled. “I knew, if anyone would understand, you would. I've spent the last year restoring this. Two of my clan stumbled across it in a ruin. We never found Tamlen, and Mahri came back… poisoned by the Eluvian. Sick, just from being near it.”  
Hawke tilted her head in curiosity. “What's an Eluvian?”  
“Long ago, the elves had a kingdom. An empire that covered Thedas. And every city had an Eluvian. The mirrors let them communicate across their empire, but I don't know how, exactly. My people, our people, have lost so much. We have almost nothing of the days before Arlathan. This is a piece of our history.”  
“What are you trying to do with this mirror?”  
“At first, I wanted to find out what happened to my friends, maybe I could still help them. I suppose it's too late now. Anyway, I know I can use it to help the people recover what we've lost.”  
“This thing is what made the Keeper and you away, isn't it?”  
“The Keeper wanted me to destroy the fragment I kept, she said our ancestors meant it to be forgotten. But it's a Keepers place to remember! Even the dangerous things. We argued…I left. She's wrong. This mirror can teach us so much about who we once were!”  
“Tell me you didn't bring the killer mirror to Kirkwall, just because it's pretty?”  
“It's not dangerous, I promise! I fixed it, or tried to. With blood magic, the mirror won't hurt anyone. But… it doesn't work. I've tried everything, and I think it's because it needs to be finished with a special tool. An arulim’holm, and my clan had one. It's been I'm their hands for generations…”  
“But you're afraid to face Keeper Marethari again.”  
“Exactly. You have no idea. The Keeper…I can't talk to her. We fight or talk circles around each other. She has a disappointed frown that turns your bones to jelly! Please help me? You will, won't you?”  
Hawke chuckled “My father had one of those. I'll go with you.”  
“Ma serannas , I'll find some way to repay you. I promise!”  
“Merrill, we’re friends. And friends help each other. Since its Sundermount, let's see if Aveline and Fenris can join, okay.”

After getting both warriors they set out for the Dalish camp.

They were suddenly stopped by a group of people.  
Fenris “Hunters.”  
Leader “Stop right there! You are in the possession of stolen property. Back away from the slave now, and you'll be spared.”  
Hawke growled “Fenris is a free man!”  
Leader “I won't repeat myself, back away from the slave now!”  
Fenris “I am not your slave!”  
They win the fight and Fenris goes to the only one still living.   
Fenris “Where is he?” Bangs head on ground  
Mage “Please don't kill me.” Bangs head  
Fenris “Tell me!”  
Mage “I don't know I swear! Hadriana brought us! She's in the holding caves west of the city, I can show you the way.”  
Fenris “No need, I know which caves you speak of.”  
Mage “Then let me go I beg you!”  
Fenris “You chose the wrong master.”  
The anger leeching from Fenris as he snaps the pitiful mans neck frightens Hawke, not of him, for him.  
Fenris “Hadriana. I was a fool to think I was free, he'll never let me be!”  
Hawke wants to ask him about this Hadriana, but decides it best to wait until it is just the two of them.   
Hawke “They need to be stopped before this goes any further.”  
Fenris nods in agreement. “The holding caves held slaves in the old times, but apparently they are no longer abandoned. Let's go before Hadriana has a chance to prepare...or flee.”  
They fight through more slavers and mages before coming to the caves.  
Fenris “We must be careful. There were many such holdings once, especially in the mountains where individual slavers kept private pins. They were designed to protect against raids by fellow slavers, no doubt it's why Hadriana chose this place”  
Hawke “Do slavers attack each other often?”  
Fenris “They did, what better way to find slaves than to steal them.”  
Fenris saw Hawke eyes glinting the way they did the time Fenris called Bethany a viper, oh what a fool he had been, but now it not the time. “Hadriana won't escape us.”   
Fenris “Let's hope this isn't a waste of time.”


	11. Chapter 11

In the first room, an elf lie dead, drained of his blood.  
Fenris “Behold the legacy of the magisters.”  
Merrill “They sacrifice the unwilling?”  
Fenris “Is that so hard to believe? You're only a step away from it yourself.”  
Merrill "That's not true!”  
Hawke bends down and picks up the man, sickened at how light he is, and the familiar brand she sees on his neck causes her heart to constrict. “Yes, it is. What happens when that demon of yours says it needs a life to fix that mirror?”  
Aveline warningly “Hawke…”  
Hawke sets the man down in the corner. “And you do it, because, what's one life compared to all of history?”  
Merrill “No…”  
Hawke pulls a sheet over the man. “One life turns to two, two into ten, and soon enough you don't give a damn about that mirror!”  
Hawke turns to see Merrill white as a sheet, and shaking, Hawke bites her lip. “Sorry, let's just finish this.” 

They fight through more slavers coming to a room where a girl is crying out for help. After the men who were attacking her are dead Fenris speaks.  
“Are you hurt? Did they touch you?”  
Orana is shaking in fear. “They've been killing everyone, they cut papa, bled him!”  
Fenris “Why? Why are they doing this?”  
Merrill “These poor people…….this is ghastly.”  
Orana “The magister, she said she needed more power that someone was coming to kill her. We tried to be good. She loved papa's soup. I don't understand. “  
Fenris blames himself, Hawke can tell that clear as day.  
Hawke “Is the magister still here?”  
Orana “I… think so. The magister said they were to prepare for battle. I think she's very frightened!”  
Fenris scowled “She had every reason to be.”  
Orana “Please, don't hurt her! She'll be so angry if you hurt her!”  
Hawke smiles encouragingly. “What's your name, sweetheart?”  
Orana flushes. “My name is Orana.”  
Hawke “This has been terrible for you.”  
Orana “Everything was fine, until today.”  
Fenris “It wasn't you just didn't know any better.”  
Orana looks to Fenris hopefully. “Are you my new master?”  
Fenris visibly flinched “No!”  
Orana “But I can cook, I can clean, what else will I do?”  
Hawke was going to give her some coin 'She’ll likely be robbed, and killed.' “If you come with me back to Kirkwall, I can help you.”  
Orana “Yes. Oh, praise the Maker! Thank you.”  
Hawke gently placed her hands on Orana's shoulders. “Go to the entrance of the cave, I'll meet you there as soon as I can.”  
Orana “Okay, Mistress.”  
Hawke’s nose wrinkled 'Great, she had to call me that.' 

Fenris face scrunched up in rage, and once Orana is out of sight he snaps at Hawke. “I didn't realize you were in the market for a slave!”  
Hawke “I gave her a job, Fenris.”  
Fenris face drops in shame. “Then that's good, my apologies. Let's find Hadriana and be done with this place.”  
They find and defeat Hadriana, but just as Fenris is about to land the final blow the bitch speaks.  
Hadriana “Wait, you do not want me dead!”  
Fenris “There is only one person I want dead more.”  
Hadriana “I have information, elf, and I will trade it for my life.”  
Fenris “Pah, the location of Danarius, what good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil.”  
Hadriana “You have a sister, she is alive.”  
Fenris stopped eyes widened.  
Hawke narrowed her eyes suspiciously “How do we know you're even telling the truth?”  
Hadriana “You don't, but I know what Fenris is searching for. If he wants me to betray Danarius he'll have to pay for it.”  
Fenris looks to Hawke.  
Hawke shakes her head. “This is your call.”  
Fenris strapped his sword onto his back and fell into a non-aggressive stance.  
Hadriana “So I have your word? I tell you, and you let me go?”  
Fenris “Yes, you have my word.”  
Hadriana “Her name is Varania. She lives in Qarinus serving a magister by the name of Ahriman.”  
Fenris “A servant not a slave?”  
Hadriana “She's not a slave.”  
Fenris “I believe you.” His markings light-up and his hand stopped her heart. “We are done here.”  
Hawke worriedly, and forgetting the others, asked. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
Fenris turns, snapping at her. “No, I don't want to talk about it! This could be a trap. Danarius could have sent her to tell me about this sister. Even if he didn't trying to find her would still be suicide. All that matters is that I finally got to crush this bitches heart, may she rot and all the mages with her.”  
Hawke bites her lips worryingly. “Maybe we should get out of here?” She placed her hand on his shoulder, and he shook it off.  
Fenris “Don't comfort me. You saw what was done here. There will always be some reason, some excuse why mages need to do this!”  
Fenris holds his arms out in front of him, eyeing his markings with disgust. “What has magic touched that it hasn't spoiled?"  
Hawke says softly, and to low for Aveline or Merrill on the other side of the room to hear. “You’re not spoiled.”  
Fenris “I need to get out of here.”  
Hawke took a deep breath, she knew he would apologize later, and she knew what it was like to speak out of anger. They went back through the caves and found Orana. 

Hawke had got back from the coast around ten at night, and she slipped quietly into the house, and after showing Orana to a room, her bed.

The next day, after bathing and eating she dressed in her casual finery, and went out to try and find Fenris. She checked around but no one had heard from nor seen Fenris, and against her will, her mind had began to wonder if he had decided to leave. She came home after checking around, to get some food and check on Orana.  
Leandra smiled at her. “You know, I've been wondering if I shouldn't remarry.”  
Hawke “What?”  
Leandra “I've seen how you and that elf look at each other. I'm sure the last thing you need is your mother watching over your shoulder every time you come home. But perhaps there is still life once your children have out grown you.”  
Hawke smiled “You've been through a lot. You deserve any joy you can find. And if it keeps you from trying to marry me off to some noble..."  
Leandra “Thank you, love. No one could ever replace your father. But it is refreshing to think I could still be courted at this age.”

Hawke chuckled as she went to speak to Orana.  
Orana “Greetings, Mistress. I hope I've made myself useful. I've already begun cleaning, and I can cook… not as good as papa, but a little. Is there…anything else you'd like me to do?”  
Hawke “What sort of skills do you have?”  
Orana “Not many, I fear. The magister bade me too clean, and sometimes fetch… but papa told me to keep out of her sight as much as I could. But I can learn, I'll serve you well. Please don't hurt me.”  
Hawke smiled gently, and put her hand on her shoulder “Ssh. No one will hurt you, not while I'm here. You've been through a great deal. How are you feeling?”  
Orana “I miss papa, the others. I… try not to think about what happened. I even feel sorry for the magister, is that bad?”  
Hawke “You served her a long time, I understand.”  
Orana “I'll serve you just as well, mistress, you'll see.”  
Hawke “If you're staying here, Orana, it'll be as my servant.”  
Orana “You mean…I won't be a slave anymore?”  
Hawke smiled softly “You'll be paid, like anyone else.”  
Orana “I… a slave is all I've ever been, like papa and grandpapa before me. I'll try to be a good servant. Thank you, mistress. Your too good to me.”

Hawke left the room before sighing. _'When basic freedom is considered being too good…'_ She shook her head. _'I need a drink, and I need Varric to look up this marking.' ___  
Hawke went to the Hanged Man to speak to Varric.  
Hawke placed a drawing of the scar her father had on the table, her voice cracking slightly. “I need you to look into this, and-and my father.”  
Varric looked at her worried “What's wrong, Sparky?”  
Hawke gave a small bitter laugh. “I can't ignore the evidence any longer.”  
Varric's brow furrowed “What evidence?”  
Hawke took a shaky breath. “That my father may have been a runaway slave.”  
Varric stared at her blankly. She wasn't joking, and she was having a hard time, but he couldn't believe that this was an idea in her head. “That's not funny, Hawke.”  
Hawke stood “Do I sound like I'm joking, does this seem like one of my jokes!”  
Varric put his hands up placating. “Sorry, just, it's hard to believe with what I know about him.”  
Hawke sighed, sitting “You know what Bethany has told you, she doesn't know half of father. She never saw this branded on his neck or the scars on his back. She was too young to remember the way he was always looking around, or how he hid his ears because they had been cut. She only ever saw the good, father showed me the bad so I would know I wasn't alone.”  
“Alone in what Hawke?”  
Hawke sighed and laid her head on her arms. “Being whipped and starved and beaten for no reason, other than being what you are. And I'm not saying anymore, Varric, not now.”  
Varric looked at her defeated posture and sad look and it made him mad. That someone would hurt His Sparky, it was unacceptable, and when he found out who it was they would die painfully. She didn't say anything more that day, other than to order round, after round that she would sip at. Hawke stayed at the Hanged Man all day, hoping Fenris would turn up, but when night started to descend she made her way home.

______“What has magic touched that it doesn't spoil?” Fenris spat the words with venom and disgust, mostly with himself. He heard Hawke whisper ‘You’re not spoiled.' but he didn't believe it and without turning to look back he said. “I need to get out of here.”  
He wandered the coast, trying to get his thoughts in order, to make some sense of them. He knew Hawke believed what she said, she was not the type to lie to make someone feel better, but he knew it was wrong, he was spoiled.  
He thought of her and her smile which never failed to make him smile, on the inside at least. Fenris wanted things to be easy, but with Hawke things were rarely easy. Fenris cared for her, he knew that much, but was this the way friends cared for each other or something else? He had nothing of reference to tell him. Hawke wouldn't leave his mind, her laugh and how sometimes if someone got her giggling she would snort, the others complained, but he adored it, and how when she tried to stop it would only make it worse, which in turn spurred more giggling until she was doubled over and clutching her stomach. Fenris adored her smile, when it was directed at him, and how she seemed to outshine the sun (when it was a real smile).  
He still remembered when he caught her sneaking around at night, with a huge box of food, and she just blushed and told him it was for the kids in Darktown, that she did this weekly. He asked why she was sneaking around, to which she replied, “I'm not sneaking, I just don't want Varric to hear about this. He would turn it into some stupid story and make it all heroic, when it really is just a bit of food. I mean, it's really not that big of a deal, I have more than enough food, anyone else would do the same thing.” He wanted to tell her 'no everyone else wouldn't', the nobles are proof enough of that, but doing so would have stolen her smile. _ _

____He stayed on the coast that night, and returned the next day with a plan to apologize. He waited in her foyer._ _ _ _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only Explicit chapter in this version of Act 2

When Hawke got back home Fenris was there, sitting on a bench in the foyer, and it appeared he had been for some time.

“Fenris?”  
“I have been thinking about what happened with Hadriana. I took out my anger on you, undeservedly so, I was not myself. I'm sorry.”  
She smiled “There's no need to apologize, I understand. Maker knows I've done it myself.”  
“You are generous." He sighed "When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She not allowed to touch me without Danarius' express permission, so she would ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep. Because of her status, I was powerless to respond and she knew it. The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now, I wanted to let her go, but I couldn't.”  
Tilting her head. “I'm confused, you wanted to let her go?”  
“I gave my word. This hate. I thought I had gotten away from it, but It dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again to know it was they who planted it inside me, it was to much to bear.” He took a moment and shook his head at his foolishness. _'I should not be laying this on her shoulders, she has enough to carry as it is.' _“Bah. But I didn't come here to burden you further.”__

“You don't need to leave, Fenris.” With that she reached for him, as her hand connected with his arm, his markings flared to life. He spun around, grabbed her by the arms and slammed her into the wall. When her back connected with the wall the air rushed from her lungs, and she felt a rush in her blood. But it wasn't fear that sent her heart thudding, it was arousal.  
_'Well, that's interesting.' ___

Fenris was lost for a moment to different hands on his body, a cruel voice at his ear, and when she touched him he reacted. Fenris came back to himself to see a look in her eye he couldn't place, but it wasn't fear, even as he had her forcefully pressed against the wall. The shame and guilt of what he had almost done, to this woman, his friend, the one person that he knew would never hurt him. 

He was thoroughly confused by the sultry smile she gave him before she said. “Fenris, this is the point where you kiss me.”

Fenris didn't blink, and before he could think better of it, eased the pressure on her arms as he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers. She smiled against his lips before snaking her tongue out to swipe it across his lips, and he opened to her eagerly. As her tongue invaded his mouth he tasted blackberries and ale, the moan she released shot fire through his whole body, he wanted more. One hand hesitantly lifted from her arm to cradle her head, which enticed a purring sound from her throat, while the other pressed flat against the wall. The sound encouraged him and he pressed against the back of her head, molding her mouth more firmly to his. 

At his encouragement, Hawke placed her hands on his chest and curled her fingers over the lip of his breast plate. She arched her back, pressing her shoulders into the wall, and fitting her body to his. As her hips pressed into him, she felt his hardening length press against her lower belly. 

Fenris groaned at the feeling and, without thinking, rubbed himself against her. He moved his hand from the wall to grip her thigh and tried to hike one of her legs around his hips, only to have her hiss in pain.  
A slightly breathy laugh. “Maker, please, take those things off?”  
Fenris backs away and begins stripping the gauntlets off as fast as he can, never taking his eyes from her, terrified she would vanish. That this was all another fevered dream. 

Hawke bites her lip feeling excited at his enthusiasm, and has fire coursing through her veins at the look in his darkened eyes. When the second gauntlet hits the floor, she launches herself at him, lips pressed against his, teeth clacking, the kiss sparking a fire in his belly, then as suddenly as it began the kiss stopped. Hawke was breathing hard with the restraint she used to pull away from him, this had to be his choice, she would not force him. 

Fenris stared at Hawke, unbelieving, when their eyes meet he sees the question in them. 'Do you want this?’ His eyes stray to her lips, yes, yes he wanted this. His mouth descends to hers, and she grabs his arms while walking backwards. Again she is trapped against the wall, this time it was her choice. 

Fenris’ tongue runs over her bottom lip, the one she always bites, and she moans into the kiss. He uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. He moves his hands from the wall to her waist, pressing her into him. This time when he grips her thigh she eagerly wraps it around his hip, their bodies undulating in a circular motion.  
Hawke suddenly realized where they were, and she lightly pushed at his shoulder.  
Fenris stopped _'Have I overstepped? Has she changed her mind?' _He looked at her, eyes darkened with want, face flushed and breathing hard, Hawke smiled. “If you wish to continue, perhaps we should go to my chambers.” Nodding her head behind her.  
Fenris took a step back and focused on breathing. _'Wish to continue? She is giving me the choice, I've never had that before, but what if-no she wouldn't do that.' _Fenris forcefully shook his head to dislodge the thoughts.____

_____ _

Hawke placed a hand on his cheek, smiled softly, and rubbed her thumb back and forth over his cheekbone. “If, at anytime, you want to stop we will.” 

Fenris looked into her eyes, and knew he trusted her to keep her word, he nodded his head not trusting his voice. She took his hand and began leading him to her chambers. Just before they made It to the stairs, Fenris stopped and pulled her back to him, cradling her face in his hands, and kissed her again. This kiss was soft and slow, as Fenris tried to convey the gratitude he felt. When they parted to breathe, Fenris scooped her up into his arms and headed for her room. 

Hawke gave a breathy laugh as she nuzzled his throat and then began leaving open-mouthed kisses along his neck. Fenris growled and he moved even faster. Once in her room, he kicked the door shut, and set her down. As soon as her feet were on the floor, he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to him, and joined their lips in a passionate kiss. 

Hawke began taking off his armor, first his chest-plate, then the leather binding that held his pauldrons up, and finally his belt. Once his belt fell she flattened her hands against his lower abdomen, causing his muscles to jump and squirm, and drug them slowly up to his shoulders. She played with the buckle of his tunic, giving him a choice, to which he growled and nipped playfully at her lower lip. She finally broke the kiss, and as she unhooked each clasp she laid a kiss where it had been.  
When she undid the last clasp Fenris shrugged off his tunic, and Hawke nuzzled the skin just above his trousers. Fenris bites back a hiss at the feeling, and pulls Hawke to her feet. 

When she is upright Fenris reaches for the tie to her robe she rolls her shoulders, causing it to fall off. Hawke was wearing a green silk shift, which he promptly removed, and red lace breast band. Fenris groaned, eyes darkening with desire at the sight of her ample chest up on display in red lace.  
She shivered under his gaze and began fidgeting. “Well, say something. It's very unnerving, you staring at me like that.”  
Fenris walked up and ran his hands down her arms. “You are beautiful, Tala.”  
Her eyes went wide, it was the first time he ever used her given name, she smiled brightly then leaned up and kissed him. Fenris hooked his fingers into the band of her skirt, and she shimmied to help it fall from her hips, she was wearing red lace small-clothes as well.  
He began kissing down her neck, he stopped at the hollow of her throat and bit softly.  
Tala moaned, and she pressed her body firmly into his, gasping as his markings flared and reacted to her magic.  
Fenris pulled back. “Did I hurt you?”  
Tala shook her head and bodily pushed him back towards the bed. When the backs of his legs hit the bed, he fell taking her with him. With their lips locked Fenris’ hands ran up and down her sides, over her ass and the backs of her thighs. 

Tala broke the kiss and began to kiss down his torso. Dragging her lips across the lines of lyrium, lighting them up and making him moan, he could feel her smiling against his flesh. After making her way down, and nuzzling the flesh under his belly button, she began playing with the ties to his breeches.  
Fenris lifted his hips slightly, answering her silent question, encouraging her to untie them. He notices now, her fingers are shaking as she excitedly undoes the laces, and she is breathing as hard as him. She gets off the bed to pull them off, and he lifts his hips to help, moaning in relief when his shaft is at last freed from the tight confines of his clothes.  
She licked and then bit her lip at the sight of his thickened member. _'Maker’s breath! How is that supposed to fit in me?' _  
Fenris stared at the canopy as he tried to calm his breathing, regain his control.__

____

Tala put her hands on his thighs, just above his knees, but made no move farther. She waited and when he finally looked at her, she wore a smile filled with such wicked promise, his mouth went dry. Once she had his eyes on her she bent down over him and planted a kiss on his flushed crown.  
When Fenris realized what she planned he shot up and pushed her shoulders back. “No!”  
Tala's brow furrowed. “What's wrong?”  
Fenris grimaced. “I will not demean you in such a way.”  
“Demean… what? Oh. Fenris.” She cradled his face in her hands and waited until he was looking her in the eye. “Fenris, this is not that. This is me wanting you to feel good, and wanting to do this for you, because I care for you. It's nothing like that. But, if you are too uncomfortable with it…”  
“I… I've never…” Fenris swallowed, unsure how to articulate his feelings on the prospect.  
Tala leans in and kisses him, an act that both calms him and sets his blood on fire. “Let me try?”  
Fenris swallows and nods his assent. Tala begins kissing down his jaw, shoulder, and torso ending up on her knees before him. She just sits there, drawing patterns on his lower abdomen with her fingers, calming him.  
Fenris leans back placing his hands on the bed beside him. “Y-yes.” 

She smiled gives him a quick peck on his chin, and then licking her lips she descends to his thickened member. Doing her best to relax her throat and breathe through her nose (like Isabela taught her) she wrapped her lips around his length, sinking him in as far as she could, and then she started to move and he moaned in bliss. 

Fenris jumped when he felt her mouth close around him, staring down at her with unbelieving eyes. He looks at her in wonder, this is never how it feels, there is never anyone seeking to pleasure him. Up and down what she can't reach with her mouth she makes up for in her hands. Her hot wet mouth working him up and down, it takes all of his willpower not to look away, he doesn't want to miss this. When she flicked her tongue across his slit his hips bucked, thrusting him deep into her mouth, he fears he hurt her. But as his eyes meet hers, he sees mirth, desire, want, not pain. He does his level best to keep from moving again, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, and that would be to close to memory for him right now.

Tala is glad now for seeking Isabela out for advice, even though it was mortifying and had her blushing a deeper red than blood, it was worth it to see and hear him like this. 

Up and down, swirling and laving, doing amazing things with her tongue. He feels his end fast approaching, but when he tries to tell her all that comes out is a low strangled moan that had her eyes fluttering, and he tries again with the same results. So he tugs lightly on her hair, causing her too to moan, her moan vibrates along his shaft causing his own in answer. When she sneaks one of her hands down to caress his sack, he loses it, head thrown back, hands twisted in the bedding and a loud moan as she eagerly accepts all he gives. 

He falls to his back, shuddering in the afterglow, and Tala kisses her way up his torso. She drapes herself over him, grounding him. As the shudders ebb she peppers his neck and jaw in kisses, ending with a bite to the junction of his throat. Fenris growled and pulled her chuckling mouth to his for a bruising kiss.

Having decided he was done with her teasing, Fenris flipped them over, pinning Tala to the bed with his body. He was intent on tasting every inch of her, wanted to know the sounds she would make. Feeling more confident with her increase in mewls and moans, he slipped his hands under her to rid her of her breast-band. 

When Tala felt his fingers touch her back she jerked upright, only his fast reflexes saved them from a head collision, knocking him onto his arse.  
“Tala?”  
She was flushed and biting her lip. “I'm sorry. I just…..” Tala wrapped her arms around herself and turned from him suddenly ashamed. Fenris gently gripped her chin and guided her to face him.  
“Do you not want this?” Fenris knew what it was to not have a choice, and he would not do that, especially not to her.  
Her eyes widened and her arms went from around her torso to gripping his forearms. She shook her head. “No! It's just, I realized you were going to touch my back, and it's……not a good thing.” She wiggled so her back was even more shielded.  
“If you recall I have seen it before.”  
Finally looking him in the eye. “By low firelight, after I told you what happened, It's not the same.”  
Fenris knew he wasn't going convince her with words. “Do you trust me?”  
“Of course I do.”  
Fenris smiled. “Then do not move.”  
Fenris began to kiss her neck before sliding his body behind hers. He could see her shivering and knew it wasn't from the cold, but fear. He wouldn't allow her to think any part of herself was ugly, he found her much too beautiful and, much to his ire, others did too. Fenris moved her hair off her back and pressed a kiss to the base of her skull. He began a slow trail across her shoulders, not stopping until he had kissed every inch of her back above her breast-band. His fingers played over the clasps of her breast-band, and then he began unclasping it slowly giving her back the same treatment she gave his stomach. The breast-band gave, but he just continued to pepper her back with kisses. She made him feel, for the first time, that his markings weren't disgusting or something to be used but a part of him for her to cherish. As Fenris kissed his way down her back, he wanted her to know how beautiful she was, and how she made him feel. Like he was a man worth more than just the lyrium under his skin. Like he could be happy, like he deserves to be happy. She treats him like a person, not the broken animal he is, and he loves her for it. Fenris looked at her, peeking her eyes over her shoulder, watching him worshipping her. She was smiling the brightest happiest smile he had ever seen grace her face, and he smiles up at her, feeling the happiest he can remember. 

Fenris crawls back to sit in front of her, and he notices that she has kept the front of her breast-band from revealing her breasts. He frowns, he has imagined them, and he wishes to see them.  
Tala laughs. “I thought you could finish.”  
She held out the edge to him which he promptly, reverently, and with a small tug removed the band. She bit her lip as her blush deepened, though she left her hands in her lap and made no move to hide herself. Fenris stared at her full flush breasts, then tossed her breast-band onto the floor.  
Fenris sighed _'Beautiful woman' ___  
She blushed deeper and he followed the flush down her breasts.  
Hawke took his silence, and sigh, as a bad sign and began to twist her fingers together. “I know I have a lot of scars-“ Fenris saw where she began to head, and was determined not to let her fall to it, silencing her with his lips.  
Laughing she gave him a small slap. “I wasn't fini-ohhh.”  
Another sentence cut short by his lips on hers. His tongue probed at her lips and she readily granted him entrance. Tala moans into his mouth, loving his taste and the feel of his tongue dancing with hers. She wiggled her hips, causing him to growl into her mouth. Tala broke away giggling.  
“Something amuses you?”  
Tala bit her lip. “It's just, I imagined you'd growl.”  
Fenris blinked. _‘Imagined, she has imagined me?'_

____

Tala got to her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, forcing his head back and giving her deeper access to his mouth, making him groan. Fenris smoothed his hands down her back, feeling the slight dips and rises of her scars and slightly different texture of her tattoo, and gripped her bottom firmly, pulling her against his chest. Tala gasped as her mana reacted to his lyrium again, but this time he didn't pull away, she gives into the urge and rubs herself against him. His hands slide around and he gently pushes her away. Tala is looking at him worried, he smiles to soothe her, then motions for her to lay down. She bites her lip, lays herself on her back, grinning up at him. 

Although he does nothing but stare, eyes alighting on the tattoo on her left hip, only now noticing it. He had been too preoccupied before, he reached out and stroked it.  
Tala hmmed and pressed into his touch. “It's a wolf.”  
Fenris stopped stroking. “Why?”  
Tala propped herself up on her elbows. “Because wolves are fierce, strong, protective and loyal creatures. I love them, I spent most of my life with them as playmates.”  
Fenris' brows scrunched together. “You and your wolves.”  
Tala laughs, and wiggles her eyebrows. “I must like them, after all, I have one in my bed.”  
Fenris huffed, rolled his eyes, then dipped his head and nipped at her throat. She moaned and closed her eyes, expecting his lips on hers, she gasps when they find her breast instead. Fenris tongue slips out of his mouth and circled her nipple causing her to arch her back and send her breast further into his mouth. Fenris replied by suckling lightly, Tala mewled, and she began writhing against him. Fenris chuckled, sending vibrations and causing her to moan. He switched his attention's to her other breast, giving it the same treatment. Fenris drew his  
hand down her stomach, relishing they way she twitched and sighed under him, she gasps as his hand slides into her small-clothes. The wetness he finds draws his attention from her breasts. 

“Fenris.” She breaths his name like a prayer, a wanton plea, as he sides her smalls down her legs. The sight of her practically dripping with desire for him, makes him moan deep and guttural, before he brings her in for a bruising kiss. He has never wanted, needed anyone like this, and it's driving him mad.  
Fenris leaves a trail of hot open-mouthed kisses from her mouth down her neck over her abdomen until he stops just above her moist curls. Her breath is sawing in and out, hard. Fenris smirks at her before he kisses her core, and she shudders.  
He goes to work, kissing, licking and suckling. Tala's moans getting louder and louder as he brings her higher and closer to the edge. She is panting and clawing at the sheets as he presses a finger in her wet heat, he flicks his tongue across her nub and begins suckling and teasing as he adds a second finger moving them in and out. 

Fenris can feel Tala's magic pulsing, as she does her best to keep it locked under her skin, but the pleasure he is giving her is causing it to seek release just as she does. Her chant of Fenris, Fenris, Fenris fueling his desire to push her over to have her, taste her, to hear her cries of completion, to feel her pulsing against his fingers and tongue. He presses into her, again and again, swirling her nub, until finally, he gets his wish, she flies apart, screaming his name to the ceiling. Her magic bursting and washing over him, healing magic with a slight electric edge, the pleasure her magic sends through his markings causes him to moan into her core. As he crawled back up her body, one hand stroking her hip, kissing along the way. Their eyes lock, both panting, before their lips join in a kiss. Sweet and slow, their tongues entwining and retreating, content to explore each other's mouths at this languid pace while they come back to themselves. The need for air forced their mouths apart, and Fenris rested his forehead against Tala's. Her magic still heavy in the air, such a thing would normally set him on edge, but not here with her. It wrapped him in a comfortable pressure, much like her embrace, leaving his markings tingling in pleasure instead of the pain that was normally there when around magic. 

Fenris gasped at the realization. _'No pain, her magic, how is such a thing possible?' _  
Tala kissed his furrowed brow and looked at him worriedly. “Is everything okay, Fenris?” Fenris wanted to tell her, how safe he felt, how much her magic was soothing him, but the words were thick in his throat. He kissed her instead, hoping it would convey what he could not say. One of her hands carded through his hair whilst the other began to lightly draw her fingers up and down his spine. Her tongue slipped from her mouth to run across his bottom lip, causing him to groan which she used to her advantage, she slipped her tongue past his lips and began to lightly flick it across his own.__

__

__Light flicks turned to languorous strokes, that had them both moaning and panting in the kiss. Fenris’ hands began drifting, stroking and caressing her skin. Tala decided to take a chance, and with the hand she had been using to caress his spin, she drew her nails lightly down his back. Fenris' resulting growl shot pleasure to her core, heating her up, and he bucked his hips into her thigh. When she felt his hot shaft rub against her thigh she shuddered, rubbing herself against him, as her own wanton moan filled the room. Fenris was paying attention to the juncture of her throat, nipping and licking, while she continued grinding against his hardness._ _

____

Canting her hips, trying to get him between them, she yelped in surprise as he bit down on her throat hard enough to leave a mark. Fenris' tongue laved the spot as fire coursed through her veins, and she began to writhe and grind against him more feverishly, seeking friction.

Fenris, unable to control himself, began moving against her grinding his knee against the juncture of her thighs. Tala responded by rolling against his thigh and whimpering, needing more. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed her, now. Fenris spread her thighs with his knee, before placing himself between them, blunt nails dragging up the outside of her thighs. 

Tala, cupping the back of his head, drug him into a bruising kiss.  
She whimpered again when he ground his shaft against her folds questioningly. With one hand still cupping the back of his head, she pulled the other over his shoulder nails lightly raking down his torso, she wrapped her hand around his girth and guided him to her. And when Tala felt his engorged head pressing at her entrance she gave him a slight nod. Fenris wanted to plunge himself In her heat, to bury himself up to the hilt, and It took all of his willpower and control to take it slow. As the first of him entered her she gasped, eyes widening at the feeling if his thick shaft filling her. 

Fenris stopped moving, and held himself still as he searched her face. _'Have I hurt her? Is she uncomfortable? Should I-'_  
Tala’s whimpers stopped his thoughts cold, he stares at her, terrified he caused her pain. Just as he is about to withdraw her hands land on the small of his back, and start kneading attempting to draw him closer. “Please, Fenris, please keep moving… please don't stop.”  
He looks at her worriedly. “Tala?”  
“Please, it feels, oooh so good, just keep moving... oooh… please? I want to feel… ungh, all of you, in me.”  
_'The things this woman is doing to me.' ___  
He leaned down placing a kiss on the top of her nose, earning him a smile. Fenris began pushing into her once again, Tala gasped then moaned at the feeling.  
_'I had no idea it would feel like this, no wonder Bela likes it so much…' ___  
As she finished that thought Fenris' length tore through the barrier of her maidenhood, causing a small gap of pain. Fenris realized the difference in her gasp and the slight change of her facial expression, he stopped again.  
“Tala?”  
She smiled. “I'm okay.”  
Fenris frowned. “I hurt you?”  
Tala shook her head. “It's just because…” a blush grew on her face and she laughed. _'I'm embarrassed by this?' ___  
“I don't want-“  
It was her turn to silence him with a kiss, soft and sweet. “I knew it was going to happen, it's the first time I've ever been with anyone, Fenris. It's normal, and it's gone now anyhow. I promise.”  
Fenris could tell she was telling the truth, and so inch by inch he worked himself inside, Tala wrapped her legs around his waist, heels digging into his firm backside, she urged him forward. When he reached her end she arched her hips upwards and a loud moan spilled from her lips.  
Fenris held himself still for a moment, to give her time to adjust, and for him to pull some semblance of control back to himself.  
Tala could feel him, all of him, every delicious inch in her, stretching and filling her completely. Fenris remained still, but she wanted movement, she rolled her hips into his causing a Venhiedas to fall from his lips. 

____

She leaned up giving him a scorching kiss as she began writhing from the pressure inside of her. When the kiss ended she gave a breathy 'please?'. Fenris pulled out just slightly and pushed back in slowly, forcing himself not to go faster, doing his best to gauge her reaction. She gave a breathy moan of more.  
Fenris pulled out till just the tip remained, and this time as he pushed back into her she rolled her hips up to meet his thrust. Tala pushed her head back into her pillow, mouth ajar as she moaned. Her hair was spread out behind her, looking like the dark wings she had painted on her back, her head thrown back as she moaned in abandon, causing a deep growl to reverberate in his chest. Tala moaned yes, he pressed his lips to hers swallowing her moan as he once again pulled out and pressed in. Fenris started a slow pace which she matched, rolling her hips up every time he thrust down. They kissed, licked and nipped at every bit of skin they could reach. Their pace was unhurried, wanting to draw this out make it last as long as they could. 

Fenris whispers to her, he is unaware that he is telling her of his love and adoration for her in Tevene. His is senses are so filled with her, there is nothing else, no pain or anger just her.  
Tala drags her hands over every bit of him she can reach, whispering and moaning his name over and over. 

Fenris moaned and buried his face in her neck, his breath fanning warmly against her neck and shoulder. She turned her face towards him, the tip of her nose ran along the length of his ear sending a shiver through his entire body, and a deep moan echoed in her ear. The unexpected pleasure that shot through his body as she stroked his ear caused him to enter her faster and harder than he meant. Tala gasped, her thighs clamped down on his hips and her arms, which were wrapped around his back and neck, locked him in place. Fenris froze, uncertain what to do when she exhaled hard into his ear. Fenris' body shook and he growled against her throat. She placed her lips against his ear, earning her another shiver from him, and whispered. “Fenris, do that again… please.” And then she snaked her tongue along the length of his ear.  
Fenris moaned and pressed himself deeper into her, his hands grasping her harder. “Tala…”  
Tala gasped, smirked and then lightly bit his earlobe. Fenris moaned and pressed her further into the bed. She flicked his ear with her tongue before bringing it into her mouth and suckling on it. Fenris, unable to stand it any longer, took her arms from around him pinning them above her on the bed and crushed her lips with his while grinding their lower bodies together. 

Fenris broke their kiss, leaned his forehead against hers, his breath coming in harsh pants against her face. Tala, while she was breathing as hard as him, she was smirking with her lip bitten into her mouth.  
“Fenris…”  
“I don't want to hurt you.”  
She smiled. “You won't. You'd never hurt me.”  
Fenris closed his eyes.  
Tala surprised him by giving him a bruising kiss, and while he was distracted by her kiss she wriggled her arms free. Tala brought one hand to each of his ears and stroked up and down. Fenris broke the kiss with a gasp that turned into a groan. She turned his head and latched onto his ear, sucking and laving and dragging her teeth across every inch, until he was shuddering, shaking, and panting. She stopped to give him a deep kiss. Just as she ended the kiss, fully intent on giving his other ear the same treatment, he gave her what she wanted.

Fenris, unable to hold back any longer, he pulled out till just the tip remained and thrust back in harder and faster than before. Earning him the sight of her arched up off the bed, eyes fluttering as her face radiated pure pleasure, a low deep moan that shook her frame and her nails digging into his shoulders. Fenris smiles fiercely and slams into her as she eagerly bucks her hips, both losing load moans at the feeling, there was no going slow after that. Fenris moved one hand under her to help keep her in place under his thrusts, thrusts she met just as eagerly. She presses open-mouthed kisses to his shoulder, panting against his neck. He marvels at her, he truly does not deserve such a woman. The wooden headboard began to hit the wall under his thunderous rolls. Her nails suddenly dig into his back as she cries out and clenches around him, more of her strange magic permeates the air sending him over the edge, lighting his markings. He comes down from his high and rolls on his side, pulls her with him. She curls up against his side, with her head on his chest. He can feel her heart beating fast against his ribs.  
“Well, that was……wow.”  
Fenris laughs at her description. “That is apt.”  
“Oh! I almost forgot.”  
She gets up and begins rummaging through her bedside stand. As Fenris admires her naked form, she pulls out a strip of red cloth. Sitting on the bed and she hands it to him, with a new blush dotting her features.  
Fenris takes it in hand and looks at her questioningly.  
Hawke bites her lip. “It's my favor, um if you want it that is.”  
Fenris' eyes go wide. _'Her favor? She wishes to give this to me?' _“Are you sure?”_  
Her smile eases a tension he didn't know was there. “Of course, Fenris. I wouldn't have given it to you otherwise. That black stitching, it's the Amell Crest.”  
Fenris smiles and ties it around his wrist. “It is an honor.” _

____

____

She smiles as she snuggles up to him, dragging a blanket over them. He strokes her hair as she falls asleep. Fenris just watches her sleep while he strokes her hair, he feels wonderful, nothing else matters. He marvels at his contentment and gives into the pull of exhaustion and falls asleep. 

____

____


	13. Chapter 13

Faces, colors, smells and feelings wash over him.  
A young girl with brown hair yells "Leto, Leto wait for me!” while running after him.  
Danarius beckons him to his naked form and instructs him to kneel before him

Fenris wakes with a start.  
He remembered everything and as soon as it was there, it disappeared. He carefully got up got dressed, began pacing. He frantically grasped for the fragments of his past life, while pushing the horrors of his old life away. _'Who am I? Was there a girl, I can't remember! Is this going to happen every time? No, I can't go through that... I can't...' ___

He turns and stares at Tala, longingly, as fears of what Danarius would do to her flood his mind. _'I'm terrified that when Danarius finally comes for me he'll order me to kill you too, and me weak beast that I am might just obey...' _He drags his hands through his hair and pulls. _'I can't stay, my Tala, my Hawke. It's to dangerous. If I lost you, I'd have no more reason to fight, to run. Maybe, if Danarius dies, I can try and be the kind of man you deserve. But losing you to him… Festis bei umo canavarum, Hawke. What have you done to me?' _He decides, the safest thing for her, is if he leaves. He slips from her chambers and down to the foyer, where he picks his gauntlets up from the floor and slips them on. He hesitates with his hand on the door knob, his plan to leave Kirkwall starts the moment he opens the door. But despite himself, he cannot bring himself to leave in the dark of night as she sleeps. So he waits, staring at the fire, trying to find the right words. He realizes that no matter how safe she would be, he just can't leave Kirkwall and her altogether, she is too important to be left behind.____

_____ _

Hawke woke to and empty bed. “Was it that bad?”  
“It's not…it was fine.”  
Hawke's face fell.  
“No, that is insufficient, it was better than anything I could have dreamed.”  
“Your markings, they hurt don't they?”  
“No. I began to remember. My life before. Just flashes…It's too much. This is too fast. I cannot….do this.”  
“Your life before, what do you mean?”  
"There were words, faces. For just a moment I could recall all it. And then it slipped away.”  
Hawke was scared so she made a bad joke. “If it brings your memory back, maybe we need to do it more often.”  
“Perhaps you don't realize how upsetting this is. I've never remembered anything, to have all come back in a flash only to lose it. I can't….I can't.”  
She felt her heart breaking at his words. _'He's going to leave me.' _“Fenris, we can work through this.”  
“I'm sorry. I feel like such a fool. All I wanted was to be happy, just for a little while. Forgive me.” _'Hate me, cast me from your sight and city, for I am to weak to leave on my own.' _He thought as he walked away, angry at what he had said for it was not what he had planned____

_____ _

As soon as she heard the front door shut, she fell to the bed crying, holding her favor, which he left, to her chest. Her mother came in a while later. Sat next to her, pulling her into her arms rubbing her back and crooning. “It's going to be okay, little amatus.”  
After a while, Hawke sat up, wiped her tears away, and asked.  
“Mother, can you cover for me for a day? So I can go to the forest?”  
“As long as you take Wolf with you.”  
“Of course, Mother.”  
Hawke and Wolf went to the forest and stayed until the sun came up. Hawke would have stayed longer, but she has responsibilities, and had only asked her mother for a day. 

The next day Hawke took Merrill to Sundermount, with Aveline and Anders tagging along. Aveline asked why Fenris wasn't there, and Hawke just lied and said he was busy. 

On the way there.  
Aveline “You're incredibly talented, Merrill, I can see you were meant for great things.”  
Merrill “Thank you.”  
Aveline “But, you're stupid.”  
Merrill scowled “I'm sorry. What?”  
Aveline “Don't you think it would be better to work on where you are now, instead of recreating old glory?”  
Merrill “No. No, that's kind of the opposite of what I've been saying. And I'm the stupid one? Whatever.” 

They get to the camp and head to the Keeper.  
Merrill “Keeper.”  
Keeper “You've returned to us, da’len. Have you reconsidered this path at last?”  
Merrill “I…”  
Hawke “Go on, I'm with you.”  
Merrill “Thank you, Hawke. Keeper, I need the arulim’holm, the ancient carving blade that master Ilen keeps.”  
Keeper “I see. You wish to rebuild the Eluvian.”  
Merrill “You don't have to approve of it. I'm invoking vir sulenveana. I'll do whatever task you wish.”  
Keeper scowled “Well, I'm glad to know I can still disapprove. It is your right. I will give you a service to perform, if you insist.”  
Hawke smiled “We appreciate your help. This means a lot to Merrill.”  
Keeper smiled softly “I'm glad that Merrill had a friend in you, child. I hope you'll look after her.”  
Merrill “I can take care of myself, Keeper.”  
Keeper “Yes, da’len, I know. A varteral has taken the lives of three of our hunters. It lairs in a cavern in the mountainside. Seek it out, slay it. No one else must fall to it's anger. Do this for us, and I will give you the arulim'holm. May the Dread Wolf never catch your scent.” 

They get away from camp and Hawke huffed. “Well, now I'm insulted.”  
Aveline “Why?”  
Merrill giggled “She doesn't like that a wolf is seen as a bad guy. The cave must be near camp, the Keeper would just warn others away, otherwise.” 

After a bought with some skeletons they get into the cave. They come across the body of a hunter.  
Merrill “Rahda… Falon'din guide you, lethallen.”  
Hawke “What were the hunters doing in here?”  
Merrill “The Keeper would have sent then to recover elven artifacts, from the varterall, before the camp had to move again.”  
Hawke “So, your Keeper sent them to their deaths?”  
Merrill “No, normally they let the Dalish come and go as we please. Something must have provoked it!”  
They came across another hunter.  
Merrill “Why did this happen? Oh, Harshal… I'm so sorry. I'll tell Ineria for you.”  
Hawke squeezed her shoulder. After fighting giant spiders, they came to the next hunter.  
Merrill “Chandan! Tread carefully lethallen, may the Trickster never find you in the Beyond. We should give their clan amulets to the Keeper. Those families should know that they died bravely.”  
Hawke “I'm so sorry, Merrill.”  
Merrill nodded as they went further into the cave. 

Hawke saw movement. “Who's ever hiding had better come out, unless you're a dragon, then feel free to keep hiding.”  
A red headed elf peeked around at them. “Hello? Praise Andras- I mean the Creators. I thought I'd never get out of… Merrill?”  
Merrill “Aneth ara, Pol. Are you hurt?”  
Pol “Stay back! What do you want from me?”  
Merrill “Pol what's wrong? I'm here to help!”  
Pol began backing away “Stay back! Don't touch me!”  
Hawke “Don't do that! You're heading straight to the varterall. And at worse she might make frowny faces.”  
Pol “She’ll do worse than hurt me! Don't you know what she is?” he turned and ran. “Creators help me! Somebody please!”  
Merrill “Pol, no! We have to catch him, hurry!”  
They ran as fast as they could but they were to late, Pol fell to the creature. They killed it and the spiders that helped it.  
Merrill leaned over the mangled body of her clan mate. “Pol… maybe it's not to late! You can help him, can't you Anders? You can heal anyone!”  
Anders “Merrill, I'm sorry, he's dead.”  
Hawke frowned _'Even I couldn't heal him...' ___  
Merrill crying “Why did you run? You shouldn't have run!”  
Hawke walked over and pulled Merrill into a crushing hug, which she returned. “There was nothing you could have done.”  
Merrill clinging to Hawke like a life line. “He was more afraid of me than the varterall… Pol wasn't like the others. He was city born, worldly. He ran away  
from Denerim and found us.” She sat back on her heels. “I thought if anyone would understand, he would. This… something is very wrong. I want to see the Keeper.”  
Hawke wiped Merrill's eyes. “Okay, let's go.”  
They got up and Merrill took Hawke's hand. “Pol… what was he thinking? He acted like I was a monster.”  
Anders “Maybe he was thinking 'Aah blood mage' that seems the most likely scenario.”  
Hawke “Not now, Anders!”  
Merrill was forced to let go of Hawke's hand when they were attacked by corpses.  
Merrill took her hand again when the fighting was over. “The way everyone looked at me in the camp when we arrived… What have they been saying about me? They must think I'm worse than the Blight! I'd never hurt the clan! They have no reason to be afraid of me! None of this makes any sense.”  
Hawke squeezed her hand. Then, what do you know, more corpses assisted by an arcane horror. After that fight they were outside, and headed to the camp. 

____

Hawke “The varterral is dead.”  
Keeper “Ma’serannas. I'll breath easier, knowing that we will lost no more people to it.”  
Merrill handed her the amulets. “We found these…”  
Keeper “I'll return then to their families.”  
Merrill “We lost Pol. In the cave, he… he fled at the sight of me, straight into the varterall.”  
Keeper “Many fear you will bring back the corruption, or worse, from the mirror.”  
Merrill scowled “Where did they get that idea?”  
Keeper “I'm am their keeper, da’len, it was my duty to warn them. It's still not to late for you to return to us. Reconsider, there's no need for you to live alone.”  
Merrill “Must we go over this again? You'll never accept what I'm doing.”  
Keeper “The Eluvian in poison. It killed Tamlen, and Mahri. It led you to blood magic. Will you let it twist you further from who you are?”  
Merrill “And who am I? We've done as you asked. Honor our bargain, give me the arulim'holm.”  
Keeper scowled “Hawke… because Merrill won't listen. I give this heirloom of my clan to you for safekeeping. Please… don't let her do this.” She walked away.  
Merrill sighed “Thank the Creators! I thought… maybe she’d go back on her word.”  
Hawke sighed “What did the Keeper mean? The mirror led you to blood magic?”  
Merrill “I… the shard I picked up was corrupted. I couldn't cleanse it without help. The Keeper refused. She said it belonged to another time, and should be left there. So I found a… spirit. It have me the power to purify the mirror through blood magic.”  
Hawke “Never heard of blood magic purifying anything, before.”  
Merrill “There’s nothing inherently evil about blood magic. It's magic, like any other.”  
Anders “Are you really that stupid?”  
Merrill “The power that corrupted the mirror was too strong to be driven out by normal means. If I had piles of lyrium lying about, I would have used that, but I didn't. I used what I had.”  
Hawke _'I'm probably going to regret this but…' _She handed the blade to Merrill. “Don't lose that knife. I have a feeling the Keeper is as good at wielding guilt as my mother.”  
Anders “I don't think that's wise, Hawke. Whatever she's trying to do with that mirror, it's at the behest of a demon.”  
Merrill scowled at Anders. “No one asked you!" She turned to Hawke and gave her a big hug. "Thank you! I knew you would understand! Let's be away from here the others are giving me the evil eye.”  
Hawke chuckled “I need to sell off this extra junk before we head back, want to wait outside the camp?” __

____

Merrill, Anders and Aveline headed out while Hawke went and bartered with the craftsmen.  
She found a wooden halla carving and bought it as a gift to cheer up Merrill. 

____


	14. Chapter 14

Hawke went with Merrill to her house, telling the others she would meet up with them at the Hanged Man later.   
One inside Merrill turns to Hawke. “I could never have faced the Keeper alone. I never imaged a human would care so much about Dalish history. No one ever understood. Not the Keeper, not my clan… just you.”  
Hawke “Elven History is as much apart of me as human history, but I didn't do it for that I did it for you, Merrill. You're my friend, and it hurts me to see your clan act this way towards you.”  
Merrill “It's all right. Even if they hate me forever, I'll know I helped them. Besides, I've got you… you’re the first real friend I've ever had. Ma’serannas, lethallan.”  
Hawke smiled “You’re a good friend, Lethallan.”   
That night at the Hanged Man, Merrill was playing cards with Isabela.  
Merrill “Why do you always win at cards?”  
Isabela chuckled “Because I cheat, kitten. This trinket… it's elven, isn't it? From your clan. Don't bet anything you're not prepared to lose. Here… have it back.”  
Merrill smiled and headed to Varric's suite, Hawke took her place.  
Isabela “A jigger of your finest whisky, for my friend over here! The Handed Man's finest isn't much, but it'll get you just as drunk as anything you'll find in Hightown.”  
Hawke chuckled “And you'll wake up and find someone's stolen your trousers.”  
Isabela “That’s when you know it's a party! I thought I'd have to watch myself around you, but as it turns out, you're all right.”  
Hawke “What do you mean?”  
Isabela “You don't judge people. You're not afraid to get your hands dirty. You know, little things like that. If I had someone like you aboard my ship when the… storm hit, maybe we wouldn't have been shipwrecked.”  
Hawke smirked “If you hadn't been shipwrecked we'd never have met, that would have been a shame.”  
Isabela chuckled “I'll drink to that! So… you and Fenris, eh? That taut controlled body, the brooding demeanor and intense gaze... I hear he still wears shackles from his life in bondage… under his clothes. You know what they say about men like that, don't you?”  
Hawke frowned “I'm going to regret asking you to continue, aren't I?”  
Isabela “He can't find a saw.” She laughs as Hawke shakes her head. “I had you there! You thought I was going to say something dirty!”  
Hawke stood and headed to Varric.  
Varric saw her and sighed. “Hawke, I've got some news. You might not want to be near anything breakable when I tell you, though.”  
Hawke froze, and then tensely offered. “Why don't I buy you a point, and we’ll talk?”  
Varric “You just keep making this harder! Although, I won't say no to a pint, if you're buying. I've had an ear out for Bartrand. After the Deep Roads he ran to Rivain, probably because he knew I couldn't track him. But I hear he might be back in Kirkwall. He called in loans from a few of his contacts in Hightown.”  
Hawke frowned, blaming the man for Bethany ending up in the Gallows. “Would Bartrand really risk coming back here?”  
Varric “I think we both know by now, that Bartrand would risk anything for money. There's a much better market here for that trinket he stole. And all his contacts are in Kirkwall.”   
Hawke nodded “We need some answers from your brother.”  
Varric “I agree. Bianca's been missing him something awful. Let's stop by his new house. We can welcome him to the neighborhood, and all that.”  
Hawke “Tomorrow night. Tonight Merrill needs us, and to get drunk.”  
Varric “Yeah, Daisy told me what happened.”  
When everyone, bar Fenris, showed up Hawke tried her best to stay engaged. But her thoughts kept straying, and her hand, she ended up throwing four drawings of Fenris into the fireplace before giving up on that particular activity. Hawke was unusually deep in her cups that night. 

After everyone had left for their respective domiciles, Varric turns to Hawke.  
Varric “Okay, so what exactly happened today? I don't mean with Daisy, why did you lie and say Broody was busy?”  
Hawke blinked at him, trying to remember what he means. “Oh!.. I mean…”  
Isabela chuckled “You got down and dirty and he was bad?”  
Hawke turned red “No!” she sighed heavily. “I'll explain.” She spends a great deal of time trying to tell them what happened without saying something that she shouldn't… like the fact that he remembered, or the extent of his markings, or other things just as private.

The next night Hawke took Varric, Anders and Merrill to check out the Mansion. They get attacked by some if the Invisible Sisters on the way, find their base, and take out their leader Gillian Winger. Then make it to Bartrand's.   
Hawke “This house looks abandoned.”  
Varric “I don't get it… my sources saw people making deliveries here just a week ago. This… looks like it's been empty for months.”  
Hawke “You think he put the cobwebs up to discourage txt collectors?”  
Varric “You're thinking it's a trap! Great, it's been ages since my brother tried to kill me.”  
Once inside they find a pile of bodies. “These corpses aren’t even stiff yet, Hawke. Somebody's been in here today.”  
They fight some crazed guards. “What did my brother do to these men? They were out of their heads.”   
They cut their way through the guards and made it to a back room, there were dozens of bodies.  
“Bartrand, what have you done?”

The main room it's filled with guards, and by this point Hawke is tired. Having to take the brunt of the attacks, having three ranged fighter and being the only melee fighter had taken it's toll. Aveline had to work, and she didn't want to talk to Fenris. The guards are dead and they see movement, Hawke starts for her daggers.  
Varric “Hold up, I know this man. He's Bartrand steward.”  
Hugin “Varric? Is that you? Praise the ancestors!”  
Varric “Hugin, what happened here?”  
Hugin “Varric, your brother… that statue that he brought out of the Deep Roads… Bartrand said it sang to him. Even after her sold it. I've been hiding in here, but the guards… they're like crazed animals. I didn't dare go past them. Everyone in this house has gone mad!”  
Hawke “What did he do to the guards to turn then to this?”  
Hugin “He's been forcing them to eat lyrium. Sine of the servants he… cut pieces off them while they were still alive. He says he's trying to help them hear the song, please, stop him.”  
Varric “Bartrand not exactly a nice guy, but this, doesn't sound like my brother.”  
Hawke “You said he sold the statue, to who?”  
Hugin “I don’t know. It's why we came back to Kirkwall. He was already starting to rant about the sodding idol and it's singing. On his better days, he hated the thing, wanted to get rid of it. But the minute it was gone, he got worse.”  
Hawke “I haven't seen anyone alive in here except corrupt guards. What happened to the rest of the staff?”  
Hugin “I don’t know what Bartrand did to them. By the ancestors, the sounds coming from his study… They're dead by now, I hope.”  
Varric “What do you mean you hope they're dead?”  
Hugin “Just… whoever… whatever you find in that room, Varric, give them a merciful death.”  
Hawke “Everything will be alright, you're safe now.”  
Hugin “I wish I believed that, human.”  
Hawke 'So do I.'  
Hugin “Bartrand took the servants and locked himself inside the study. No one's come out for days. And those sodding lunatics just keep prowling the halls.”  
Varric “Then we go in after him. Come on, Hawke, let's finish this.” 

They open the door and Bartrand smoked out and summoned back up. Covering the others while trying to close in on Bartrand proved difficult. While Hawke was distracted protecting Merrill from a guard with a maul, Bartrand cane in from behind and stuck her with his blade. Hawke gasped, Merrill shot him with a rock fist and sent him flying into his study. Anders surrounded her with healing magic, and she clenched her teeth at the ripping sensation the magic caused. She thanked Anders, and with the wound healed they went to confront Bartrand.

Bartrand “I can't… I can't hear it anymore. I just need to hear the song again, just for a minute… Stop saying that! I know I shouldn't have sold the idol to that woman! It was a mistake! A mistake…”  
Varric “Bartrand, get ahold of yourself! Do you know where you are, do you know what you've done?”  
Bartrand “Varric! You'll help me, won't you, little brother? Help me find it again? You were always the good one...”  
Varric “Help you? Bartrand, you left me to die! You left Hawke to die! And for what some trinket? Look at yourself! Look at what you've done to the men and women who served you! Where's your nobility, brother? Where's your dwarven honor?”  
Hawke "I don't think you'll get anywhere like this, Varric. It's like talking to a stone wall... or to Anders."  
Anders “I heard that. This doesn't feel natural. If he wasn't a dwarf, if think a demon did this. His mind has been… poisoned by something powerful.” His hands glowed blue and surrounded Bartrand. “That's all I can do, it won't last, I'm sorry.”  
Bartrand “Varric?”  
Varric “'I'm here.”  
Bartrand aghast “Varric, what have I done?”  
Varric “I don’t know, I honestly don't know.”  
Bartrand “Make it stop, little brother. Don't let me… don't let house Tethras fall like this. I know… I know I don't deserve it. But please, Varric… don't leave me like this. Make it stop.”  
Varric “Enough with the speeches! I'll get you to a healer, and you'll be fine.”  
Hawke “I doubt that staying in this house is helping his condition.”  
Varric “I'll send someone to come get him. Sit tight, brother. Help is on the way. Come on, Hawke. The sooner we get out of this house, the better.”

 

As they leave the house, Hawke gets a feeling Varric wants to say something. “Did you need something, Varric?”  
Varric “A stiff drink, maybe. I feel like I've been kicked but a horse. I almost wish Blondie hadn't wiggled his fingers and cleared Bartrand's head. I liked it better when I just wanted to kill the bastard.”  
Hawke “Do you want to maybe... ask them to pray for him at the chantry?”  
Varric chuckles "I pretty sure any decent priest that prayed for b=Bartrand would burst into flames."  
Merrill gasped. "Oh, but that's awful! I had no idea priesthood was so dangerous."   
Varric "It's alright, Daisy, the Chantry keeps plenty of water on hand. I still can't believe what he did in that house. Walking away and leaving us to die is one thing, but that?”  
Hawke “Come on, Varric. Let's go drink until we can't see straight. That’ll make you feel better.”  
Varric “Awe, that's sweet. But watching you get sick won't cheer me up, much. Anyway, thank you. I'll keep looking into who bought that blighted statue. At the very least, they need to be warned about what happened.”  
Hawke “Come on, first round on me.”


	15. Chapter 15

That night Varric made her promise to take Fenris on her next job, since Aveline wasn’t available. 

The next day, Fenris joined the group, Hawke acted as though nothing was different. And Fenris wasn't sure what was worse, her indifferent mask or his guilt. 

Hawke hides her anger behind a mask, but decides that as a punishment she will take him with her to Anders. Anders had mentioned he needed her help last night. They get to Darktown, Hawke, Fenris and Sebastian. Anders is talking to Isabela.  
Anders “Don't come running to me the next time you pick up one of these diseases.”  
Isabela “Isn't that the point of magic?”  
Hawke “I don't want to know.”  
Anders “Things just keep getting worse, I had Templars practically on my doorstep the other night.”  
Hawke smiled. “Don't tell me these things, I might have to lock you up to keep them off you.”  
Anders “Sweetheart, I'm not letting anyone lock me up again, you included.”  
Hawke shook her head, and heard Fenris shift uncomfortably behind her. 'Of course, he doesn't approve of me flirting with Anders! Ugh blight take you! You left me! If I want to flirt with an abomination, you have no say.'  
Anders sobered up some, as he looked at Hawke pleadingly. “Have you noticed how many tranquil are in the Gallows courtyard lately. And don't say I'm just sensitive to it. I've been watching, and every day there are new tranquil, selling their bloody wares. Good mages too, ones I know passed their Harrowing.”  
Hawke “Doesn't Chantry law say that mages who passed their Harrowing can't be made tranquil?”  
Anders “Exactly. The Templars are working on a plan to turn every mage in Kirkwall tranquil within the next three years.”  
Hawke “Whatever you think of Templars, you can't imagine they’re so heartless.”  
Anders “They're worse. I've talked to people on the inside. The plan is the work of a Templar, Ser Alrik. He's the one that did the rite on Karl. Nasty piece of work, likes to make mages beg.”  
Hawke 'Alrik? Isn't that the man Bethany was telling me about? Either way, Bethany is in that circle, I need to know.' “Then perhaps the blame can be placed on him alone, not every Templar?”  
Anders “That's what I hope. If we bring evidence of this plan to light, there are those who would stand against it. And the Grand Cleric will finally be forced to act.” He looks around before stepping closer and whispering. “I'm working with a group that helps mages escape the gallows. They have a way in. Come with me, tonight, please. Help me find the evidence of Ser Alrik's 'Tranquil Solution'.”  
Hawke wasn't about to let him go alone, and she wasn't going to say no, her sister might be in this man's way. “I wouldn't let you face this alone.”  
Anders “You're the one bright light in Kirkwall. I've always feared tranquility, now more than ever. I'm ready to go when you're, I can lead us to the entrance, it's not far.”  
Hawke “Let's go.”  
They walked through Darktown, and as they were getting close Fenris spoke. “It's a wonder the Templars find anyone in this city.”  
Anders “Don't tell anyone about this, it has saved hundreds of mages.”  
Fenris “With any luck, we'll simply be mistaken for thieves and not conspirators.”  
Hawke rolled her eyes. “Let's go.”

They had to fight lyrium smugglers, human and dwarven, throughout the tunnels. Hawke and Fenris still fought as if they were of the same mind. Anders was shocking, frying and freezing enemies. Fenris worked to keep there attention while simultaneously slashing though their ranks. Sebastian took high ground, picking enemies off with his grandfather's bow. And Hawke, was everywhere at once, darting in and out of cover, always right where she was needed. Hawke always was at Fenris' back just before a blow would hit, blocking with her daggers. She knew how to keep her men alive, and how to order them about silently so as not to inform the enemy. They came to a clearing filled with Templars and one mage girl. A terrible scene was unfolding before them.

Mage “No, please! I haven't done anything wrong.”  
Templar “That's a lie. What do we do to mages who lie?”  
Mage “I just wanted to see my mum. No one ever told her where they were taking me.”  
Anders began to glow. “No, no this is their place. We cannot.”  
Templar “So you admit your attempt to escape. You know what we do to mage girls who don't toe the line around here?”  
Mage “No don't make me tranquil, I'll do anything.”  
Templar “That's right, when you're tranquil you'll do anything.”  
Fenris growled. And it sparked a fire in Hawke's belly, as she remembered him growling for a very different reason another night. And he says in that gorgeous voice. “This is wrong. She is just a child.”  
Hawke steps forward, both to stop this, and to get away from that thought. “The Chantry frowns on Templars who take personal advantage of their charges.”  
Templar “Who's this?”  
Anders/Justice “You fiends will never touch a mage again.”  
A fight ensues, with them victorious, but Anders is still Justice.  
Anders/Justice “They will die! I will have every last Templar for these abuses!”  
Hawke “The Templars are gone, you can stop glowing.”  
Anders/Justice “Every one of them will feel Justice's burn!”  
Mage “Get away from me, demon!”  
Anders/Justice “I am no demon. Are you one of them that you would call me such?”  
Hawke “You are here under my command! Not another step!”  
Anders/Justice “Justice…answers to nobody!”  
Hawke “This is not the way to do it. Save your fire for the Templars!”  
Mage “Please, messarre.”  
Anders/Justice made as if he was going to strike the girl, but Anders regained control just in time. He fell to his knees and the girl ran away.  
Anders “Maker, no! I almost, if you weren't here…I need to get out of here.”  
He left them and Hawke went to see if she could find the girl, but Fenris stopped her with a word.  
Fenris “Hawke, you did the right thing. You saved that child.”  
Hawke sighed and nodded. Then started back on her path. After looting Ser Alrik's corpse. The girl was outside the tunnels.  
Mage “You saved my life, messarre. What was that thing?”  
Hawke sighed “A demon. Whether he admits it or not.”  
Mage “Can I go home now?”  
Hawke “With Ser Alrik gone, you'll be safest in the circle.”  
Mage “Without Ser Alrik… Maybe Bethany is right, the circle isn't so bad.”  
Hawke stopped her from heading back down. "Wait a moment." She fished out a piece of paper and charcoal, handing it to the young girl. "Write your mother a letter and I will make certai that she gets it."  
Mage "You would do that for me?"  
Hawke smirked "Of course. Just tell me where to find her."  
The mage wrote her mother a letter, taking time as Hawke told her to do, and told Hawke where to find her mother. "Thank you again, Messare."  
Hawke smiled. "My name is Hawke, my sister Bethany is in the circle."  
She gasped "She's my teacher!"  
Hawke bit her lip and took a step forward. "Will you do me a favor?"  
Mage "Anything!"  
Hawke nodded. "Just tell her-tell her I know she did it and I'm not angry that I understand, and tell her I love her."  
The Mage repeated the word a few times to make sure she was remembering them right. "I will tell her, I promise."  
With that she left for the Circle. Hawke smiled, and headed towards Anders clinic.  
Sebastian left because he had duties at the Chantry, Fenris refused to let her walk through Darktown alone.

They get to the clinic.  
Anders “Trash, trash, keep, trash, trash…”  
Hawke “You almost killed that girl!”  
Anders “Justice had been warped by my rage, I cannot contain him any longer.”  
Fenris “Maybe it's time to realize your limitations.”  
Anders “Yes, fine kick me while I'm down. Clearly you’re right about everything.”  
Fenris “It was a suggestion, not a condemnation.”  
Anders “I will not put myself in that position again.”  
Hawke “You’re possessed. I doubt strong resolve will be enough to counter that.”  
Anders “You're right. I cannot change who… what I am. I should get out of Kirkwall, go where I won't hurt anyone. Would you have me leave?”  
Hawke “Don't give up just because of a few complications. I thought you were more dedicated than that.”  
Anders “Why is it you can say nothing without making me want to wring your neck.”  
Hawke smirked “I'm special that way.”  
Anders “Fine! Yes, I cannot give up on this cause so easily. Did you find any evidence of the tranquil solution? Or was that another one of my delusions?”  
Hawke handed him the papers. “It exists, but it was Ser Alrik's plan only.”  
Anders “The Divine… rejected the idea… Meredith rejected the idea! This wasn’t what I expected. Maybe the Grand Cleric, maybe she's more reasonable than I thought.”  
Hawke saw some parchment on his table. “What's that?”  
Anders “I've been trying to write down my arguments. To convince someone like you that the Circle is abusive and unjust. Your own sister is one of us! How can you not see? Mages gifts are granted by the Maker? How can any man call himself a templar and set himself above us?”  
Hawke “Have you ever thought what is like to be a templar?”  
Anders “We all know their case, magic is dangerous, we've both seen mages succumb. But while we’re treated like children, we’ll never take responsibility for our actions. We must be empowered to police ourselves! I will make you see, I swear! If I convince no one else in Thedas, I'll at least have you by my side before this is done.”  
Hawke chuckled 'That's not what I meant, but I don't feel like arguing.' “I hate your politics. Doesn’t mean we don't have other things in common.”  
Anders “I swear, I don't know weather to kiss you or kill you! You're everything I hate! You let your own sister be dragged off to the Circle,” she hid the twinge in her heart at that. “-even after you saw what they did to Karl. But I can't stop thinking about you. For this past year you've haunted my sleep. I wake aching for you. It is madness, this can only end in ruin.”  
Anders lunges forward, sealing her lips with his. She hates that she compares it to Fenris… that she wishes it was Fenris. She kisses him back, though, enjoying being wanted.  
Fenris clenched his fist, while he put one on the wall to keep him up, everything inside screaming at him to rip abomination off her and claim her himself.  
Hawke smiled “I'm willing to risk it."  
Anders “Be careful. You know what's inside me. I'm not always a gentle man.”  
Hawke snickered “And I'm not made of glass.”  
Anders “If your door it's open tonight, I'll come to you. If not, I'll know you took my warning at last.”


	16. Chapter 16

Fenris swallowed and walked with her to the Hanged Man. He went up to Varric's suite, and ordered the strongest thing they had… which wasn’t much.  
Hawke went to speak to Isabela about the fade, figuring that enough time had passed for her to talk about it.  
Merrill is with her.  
Isabela “I never have affairs with my crew. Once they see you naked with your ass in the air, they think they don't have to take orders.”  
Merrill giggles.  
Isabela grunts “Men. You have to be twice as tough to earn half as much respect.”  
Merrill “So did the crew member mutiny… I'm mean after you know?”  
Isabela chuckled “Oh, no. I had the offending member removed, that got rid of the attitude. I-oh, look Hawke!”   
Merrill left, went to Varric's suite.  
Hawke kept her face very stern. “I like big boats, I cannot lie! Really Isabela?”  
Isabela groans “Well, I do! Blighted demon knew it to. I'm sorry I abandoned you the fade. That was foolish of me. I mean, I didn't even get the ship in the end.”  
Hawke “I don't blame you, I understand what it's like to be under the influence of a demon.”  
Isabela “You… what? That's it? No angry rant? Are you trying to get me to jump into bed with you? Because it's working.”  
Hawke chuckled “Friends forgive each other… besides Anders is coming tonight for that.”  
Isabela “What?”  
Hawke shrugged “He kissed me, and it's…I.”  
Isabela chuckled “So, rebound or revenge sex?”  
Hawke “What… it's not!”  
Isabela chuckled and sauntered off. The rest of the night Hawke tried not to think of her words. Or how much she enjoyed Fenris being upset after her and Anders kissed. Was she doing this for some sort sense of satisfaction at angering Fenris?

Fenris walked her slightly drunk body home, as usual, but the silence was tense and filled with anger and pain. He left her at door without even a goodbye, and she waited for Anders. And Fenris hid in the shadows kicking himself, desperately hoping the abomination wouldn't show. When he did Fenris left, returned to his mansion and drank to keep himself from doing something he would regret. 

She had been staring at the fire awhile waiting for him, when he finally showed up.  
Hawke sighed “You're here, I wasn't sure you were coming.”  
Anders “Justice does not approve of my obsession with you. He believes you're a distraction. It is one of the few things on which he and I disagree.”  
Hawke nervous “So, he's kind of….an unwilling participant in our threesome?”  
Anders face wrinkles “Please don't call it that. Are you sure you want me here? I thought you and Fenris… or did the beast finally turn on you?”  
Hawke scowled, angry at him. “Don't call him that! Don't ever call him that!” as 'I love him' flashed across her mind. 'I love him? Shite! I do, don't I? I can't do this, this is wrong!' “I'm sorry, Anders. We can't do this.” She sat on her bed, and put her head in her hands.

Anders “Fine! Whatever you see in a manic like that… perhaps at least your hand will tame him.”  
She gripped her head to keep her from throttling him at his last statement. He left and she fell on her bed and sighed. 'I'm in love with a man who left me… I gave him everything and he left. And now I bloody well know, Maker, I'm a mess.'

The next day she took a bottle of antiven brandy with her to the Hanged Man. Knocked on Varric's door.

Varric “Hawke, what do you want?”  
Hawke frowned “Can't want to see my friend?”  
Varric sighed “I didn't mean it like that, Sparky, just figured you'd be with Blondie.”  
Hawke sighed “Almost… until… Varric, do I love Fenris?”  
Varric chuckled “Yes. Just figure that out did you?”  
Hawke laid her head on her arms. “But, he doesn't love me.”  
Varric sighed “Sparky, it's not that simple.”  
Hawke sighed “Let me tell you a story, about a stupid girl who thought she knew what it was to love…”  
Varric frowned “Hawke?”  
Hawke shook her head and told him of James Greyson. Varric stared at her bared back, and suddenly things clicked, now he understood how the two of them got on so well. He, in turn, told her about Bianca and the origin of the crossbow... today was a day for secrets, it seems.  
Hawke sighed. “I thought I loved James, I really did, but compared to how I feel about Fenris… It's like living in a cave with only the luminescent moss to light the way, and then walking out into the sun.”  
Varric raised an eyebrow. “That's pretty damn poetic of you, Sparky.”  
She chuckled “Maybe, I just can't seem to find an adequate way to explain it.”   
When Hawke left Varric picked up Bianca, he had an elf to talk to.

Fenris woke with a pounding head and rolling stomach, strange, he didn't think he could get drunk enough for that.  
Varric barged in to his room, and glared. “Elf.”  
Fenris scowled holding his head. “Dwarf.”  
Varric sighed “We’re going to talk about the pretty little mage, whose gorgeous little heart you crushed.”  
Fenris growled. “It is done. Leave it.”  
Varric “No, not until you tell me-"  
Fenris stood, glowing. “Leaving was the hardest thing I have ever done! Now go!”  
Varric narrowed his eyes. “Do you love her?”  
Fenris stopped, sat, and put his head in his hands. “I don't know how.” A self deprecating laugh, and then he whispers to himself. “Besides, I'm not worthy enough…”  
Varric sighed “Look, we’re going to the Coast, get your sword.”

After she was done Hawke went to Anders next, and apologized to him, again, feeling bad about what happened. After that he joined her, Fenris and Varric on a trip to the Coast. Aveline asked her to take a group out there, she had been hearing trouble, but didn't have time herself. They finished and headed to the Hanged Man.  
Anders “You were a fool to leave Hawke.”  
Fenris “And you were quick enough to replace me.”  
Hawke 'What? We nev-'  
Anders “I love her, you don't even know what that is!”  
Fenris growls “Do not bear your heart to me mage, unless you would have me rip it out!”  
Hawke 'Anders!'  
Fenris stalked off, they were only headed to the Hanged Man anyhow.   
Hawke whirled on Anders. “Who do you think you are!” Smacked him across the face and stalked off herself. 

Back at the house, she found Sebastian admiring her hound.  
Sebastian “Your hound is a mark of nobility in Ferelden, is he not?”  
Wolf barks  
Sebastian “I have heard that gaining a mabari's loyalty is considered the ultimate proof of character there.”  
Hawke smirked “That’s kind of you to say. I think we make a good pair.”  
Sebastian “A dog cares nothing for worldly power. The Maker would have us learn from them.”  
Wolf barks and Sebastian bows.  
Hawke chuckled “Don't let it go to your head.”

 

The next day, Sebastian, Merrill, Fenris and Hawke head through Hightown. They are stopped by a ranting dwarf.  
Yeheven “You! This is all your fault!”  
Hawke points to Wolf. “He did it!”  
Fenris restrains a chuckle and Wolf wines and cocks his head.  
Yeheven “You and that blighter Varric Tethras! You'll be the end of my boys!”  
Hawke raised an eyebrow “I don't even know who you are.”  
Yeheven “Yeheven, Member in good standing of the Dwarven Merchants Guild. Not that it really matters to people like you!”  
Hawke chuckled “Look, you'll have to be more specific. A lot of things are my fault, lately."  
Yeheven “My son's are lost in the Deep Roads because of stories about you! You're sodding glory and treasure!”  
Dera “Don't you dare blame her! We both know this was Iwan's doing!”  
Yeheven “If you want to keep your job, shut your mouth, woman!”  
Dera “Your boys are grown men. It was their own decision!”  
Hawke “What exactly were they trying to do?”  
Dera “It… may be my fault, messarre. I've told then all the stories about you.”  
Hawke 'Oh yeah, it's Varric's fault.'  
Yeheven “You’re the only one who knows where they went. They were following the path of your expedition. Please help me find them. Don't let my boys die down there.”  
Hawke asked about the boys. “I'll do everything in my power to bring your boys home.”  
Yeheven “Thank you messarre. Those boys are my life. The entered the same way you did.”

They are in the Market, gathering supplies when Merrill starts giggling.  
Fenris “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”  
Merrill giggles “You're in love!”  
Hawke freezes and forces herself to breath.  
Fenris “I am not.”  
Merrill “Every time she looks away you stare at Hawke with those sad puppy eyes.”  
Fenris grumbled “There are no puppy eyes.”  
Hawke feels like she took a hit to the gut, she knew he didn't, but hearing it is hard.  
Merrill “It's alright, you know. Even you can be happy one in awhile, it won't kill you. But your face might crack if you smile, so be careful.”


	17. Chapter 17

The whole time Hawke had her face hard and unyielding. Fenris couldn't tell if it was the darkspawn or himself she was mad at.

They come upon a dwarf.  
Hawke “Are you one of Yeheven's son's?”  
Emrys “Mistress Hawke? Please help me! My brother, Merin…. Iwan locked him in with the darkspawn. He sealed the door… left me here and bolted for the passage. He's gone mad! All he cares about is that damned sword!”  
Hawke “Least time I was here, we picked this place clean. What's your brother looking for?”  
Emrys “Iwan called it the heartdrinker. He says it a masterwork of an ancient smith from this thaig. He bought a book from one of the Orzammar caravan. It had the location of the sword. Or at least to the golems who guard it.”  
Hawke chuckled “Another greedy dwarf. Think he took lessons from Bartrand?”  
Fenris “Perhaps, this is quite similar.”  
Emrys “Maybe I should have seen this coming. Iwan had been obsessed with that thing. He wouldn't tell us about the sword, but I never imagined he'd leave us to rot.”  
Sebastian “He cannot possibly justify trading his brothers life for a mere length of steel!”  
Emrys “Please! I don't want my brother to be eaten by those monsters!”  
Hawke “I'll do my best. Go back to your father, I'll find you when I'm done.”  
Sebastian “Just point the way and we'll take care of it.”  
Emrys “He's on the other side of that wall. You'll need to find a way to reach him. Please, come tell my father as soon as you have news.”

They fight though darkspawn and find Merin.  
Merin “By the stone, I thought I was done for. Wait, you… you're Mistress Hawke! I can't believe it's you! I had no idea the Deep Roads would be like this. That the darkspawn would be just everywhere. I've heard the stories, but, it's not the same as actually being down here.”  
Hawke smiled “Any longer and the darkspawn would have had you.”  
Merin shook his head. “I was a fool to think we could do this by ourselves. I knew Iwan was up to something. He got so evasive every time I asked about that blighted sword. I still can't believe he betrayed us. Do you think he's still alive?”   
Hawke “Iwan is probably dead by now. I'm sorry.”  
Merin “Yes, though, it gives me no satisfaction to know he dug his own grave. You know, I never realized what the dwarfs in Orzammar are up against. They fight these monsters every day of their lives. I don't think I can sit by and let my people die, while I enjoy the easy life of a merchant. Not any more. Come find us when you return. I'm sure father will want to thank you for saving me.”  
After he left Fenris spoke. “I believe you made that dwarfs day.”  
Hawke chuckled “Because, he's still living.”  
Fenris “That's not what I mean.”  
Hawke looked at him, a slight grin. “What do you mean?”  
Fenris “It's not everyday you get saved by your hero.”  
Hawke chuckled, and shook her head. “I'm no hero.”  
Fenris smirked “I disagree.”  
Sebastian “As do I.”  
Merrill “Me too, and I know what we’re taking about, this time.”  
Hawke smiled “Let's go see if Iwan is indeed dead.”

They find his body.  
Fenris “So, Iwan is dead, that's what he gets for his treachery. And that must be the golem control rod. Perhaps the creatures it controls are further down this path.”   
By the golem. “That little rod controls such a great creature? Do you suppose it resents that?”  
Hawke chuckled “I would, but I guess it depends on if the golem is sentient.”  
Fenris smirked, happy to hear her chuckle. “True.”  
Hawke activated the golem, and it helped them fight the other golems. And unsurprisingly more darkspawn. They get to the room.   
Fenris “It looks like the darkspawn smashed the chest.”  
Hawke “Maybe there's still something to salvage in this mess.”  
They made it to Hightown the next morning, stopping to rest for the night.  
The find Yeheven. “Iwan, he's not with you… I had hoped.”  
Merin “Father, I told you it would be too late.”  
Dera “He tried to kill Merin and Emrys, and you're sad he didn't make it?”  
Yeheven frowned “His betrayal isn't lost on me, Dera, but he'll always be my son. You've given me back two of my boys messarre. I'm in your debt, please, take this as thanks.” 

 

Hawke had the others come to hers to wash up, and get some food, before they head to the gallows to speak with Emeric.  
Hawke “Hello Emeric. Aveline says you need my help again?”  
Emeric “I've spent the past year continuing my investigation into the murders of Ninette, Mharen and the other women. I believe I finally have a suspect: Gascard DuPuis.”  
Hawke “DuPuis? That's a funny name.”  
Emeric “It's Orlesian.”  
Hawke “That says enough.”  
Emeric “When I became conviced of his guilt I went to the city guard and demand that they do something. They raided his mansion and found nothing. They were forced to apologize, and I was reprimanded. Meredith forbade me from continuing my investigation. But she didn’t say I couldn't seek outside help.”  
Hawke nodded in understanding. “And I'm supposed to be the outside help.”  
Emeric “My hands are tied, I can't do this on my own.”  
Sebastian “This is a worthy cause. If we can help, we should.”  
Hawke “Who suggested I wasn’t going to? I'll help.”  
Emeric “You'll need to go to DuPuis mansion after nightfall. If he's innocent, find evidence to prove me wrong. It's just that simple.”  
Sebastian heads to the Chantry, and the others to the Hanged Man.

After nightfall Varric accompanies them to Hightown. They are instantly set upon by shades.  
Fenris “Looks like we're in the right place.”  
They find a letter. Merrill “Gascard likes ancient artifacts, just like me!”  
Hawke 'That's not a comforting comparison, Merrill.'  
Another bought with shades, and another letter. Varric “Maybe Gascard was looking for help from another mage.”  
A vital of blood. Merrill “I think these have been used in blood magic.”  
Up the stairs and another letter. Fenris “Clever. He stopped Emeric from investigating by getting Meredith on his side.”  
A chest of clothes. Fenris “Hmm. Women's clothing. Perhaps they were taken off the murdered women.”  
Merrill “Those clothes are so fine! They must be very valuable.”  
And then they find him, a woman cowering behind him.  
Alessa “Help me please! He's gone mad!”  
Gascard “You're not… you're not him! Shit! I… know what this looks like, but I didn't hurt her!”  
Hawke “Let her go, and we can talk.”  
Gascard “If I let her go you'll kill me! I don't know why you're here, but there’s a killer out there, and I think he's playing us both! Just… just let me explain!”  
Hawke “All right, we’ll see if you can talk yourself out of this.”  
Varric chuckled “Fifty silver's if he says: it wasn't me it was the one armed man!”  
Gascard "Several years ago my sister was murdered. The bastard's now in Kirkwall, killing again. The same way he killed my sister. It stars with a bouquet of white lilies. He sends them to each new victim. Alessa was going to be next. I took her so he'd have to come to me. I was finally going to face my sister's killer, but then you showed up…”  
Alessa “He's lying! He hurt me!”  
Gascard “I've explained this! I need your blood to track you down if he took you. It was for your protection!”  
Alessa “Let go of me!” she got up and ran out.  
Gascard “She’ll go strait to the guard, they’ll ruin everything.”  
Hawke “Who killed your sister?”  
Gascard “A powerful and experienced blood mage. I believe he uses the women for some ritual. His victims are attractive, healthy women with few social ties.”  
Hawke “I could report you to the Templars for blood magic.”  
Gascard “Yes, I've used blood magic and lyrium to augment my powers. I'm not proud of what I've done, but I had to. He took my sister from me.”  
Hawke hesitated, she didn't trust him but she also didn't believe him to be the man she was after. “I can help you track down your sister’s killer.”  
Gascard “No, I can manage on my own. I'm headed to Darktown, if you learn anything new about the killer, find me there. I've a score to settle with him.”

After he is gone, Varric walks Merrill home.  
Fenris “Are you sure that wise Hawke?”  
Hawke sighed “Not entirely. But his magic was different than the killers, so for now, he's free. He might be useful later.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow. “For now?”  
Hawke chuckled “After we find the killer, I'll deal with him.”


	18. Chapter 18

The next afternoon the four of them headed to the gallows to inform Emeric.  
Moira “Aren't you Hawke? Emeric left not long ago. He said you'd arranged to meet tonight.”  
Hawke “Perhaps you're mistaken.”  
Moira “I'm am not mistaken. You sent him a message a half hour ago. Look.”  
She hands Hawke The message. “I didn't send this.”  
Moira “You didn't? Strange.”  
Varric “That’s not a good sign.”  
Moira “Well I don't know. Emeric's been acting strangely for months. It's probably just a misunderstanding.”

It takes them until dark to figure out the map. When they arrive, Emeric is slain and the place is crawling with demons. Once the fight ends Moira shows up.  
Moira “Some mage sent that thing here to kill him. Why would anyone… Oh, Maker. The murders, Emeric was right. He was getting too close. He suspected Gascard DuPuis. Did he do this?”  
Hawke felt the magic the killer used, not Gascard. “I can't be certain of anything, he may have tricked me.”  
Moira “Then we need to find him. Do you know where he is?”  
Hawke “He didn't tell me where he was going.”  
Moira “Then we need to track him down just to be safe. If you learn anything more, please come to me.”

After the templar leaves.  
Varric “Sparky, want to cue me in on why you lied.”  
Fenris “This wasn’t Gascard's doing, the magic is markedly different.”  
Hawke smirked 'Thanks for the save.' “It doesn't make sense for him to do this, and he could be useful. Come on everyone go home get some rest, we'll pick this up in the morning.”  
Varric took Merrill home. Fenris bid Hawke goodbye at her door. Just as she was about to get some food, after all blackberries don't count as a meal, or so her mother says. She finds Gamlen yelling at Sandal.  
Sandal “Enchantment!”  
Gamlen “No, Leandra! Lee. Ann. Drah!”  
Hawke “What's wrong, uncle?”  
Gamlen “There you are! Where’s your mother? Is she feeling alright?”  
Hawke “I'm sure she's alright. Why are you so upset?”  
Gamlen “Your mother didn't show up for our weekly visit. Is she ill? She is here, isn't she?”  
Bohdan “No,Gamlen. We haven't seen here all day.”  
Gamlen “Where could she be?”  
Bohdan “Perhaps she's out with her suitor.”  
Gamlen “Suitor? Leandra never merited a suitor.”  
Bohdan “Well, those lilies arrived for her this morning.”  
Hawke’s blood ran cold, her stomach clenched as she eyed the vase. “No. Not white ones.”  
Gamlen “Don't just leave me waiting. What is it?”  
Hawke swallowed “There’s a killer in Kirkwall who sends his victims white lilies before he takes them. He's murdered several women already. I know someone who may be able to help.”  
Gamlen “No, you’re wrong, Leandra is fine.”  
Hawke snapped “Ignoring the facts doesn’t change them.”  
Gamlen “You don't know she's in trouble. Maybe she took another path to my house. I could have missed her. I'm going back to Lowtown.”  
Bohdan “You go look for her, the boy and I will stay here in case she comes home.”

Hawke tumbled into Fenris' mansion causing him to jump to his feet and grab his sword.  
Hawke gasping “Maker… mother… lilies….He has her!”  
Fenris' eyes widened in both the fact that he understood her and what was happening. He helped her calm down and went with her to fetch Aveline and Varric. 

They headed for Darktown. Hawke all but runs to Gascard.  
Hawke “Gascard!"  
Gascard “Hawke! What are you doing here? Do you know something?”  
Hawke “My mother is gone. She received white lilies this morning.”  
Gascard “So soon. I wasn't expecting this. Remember Alessa? Just as I predicted he took her not long after you found us. I have enough if her blood for one ritual. I canuse it to track them.”  
Aveline “I don't like it. My men will find Leandra.”  
Hawke's lip trembled as she looked to Aveline. “Before she dies? I don’t want to be alone…”  
Aveline shuts her eyes.  
Fenris steps forward, a cold tingling in his limbs at the fear in Hawke's voice. “Do it.”  
Hawke gasps and looks at him, he gives her a nod.  
Gascard does the ritual and they follow. 

Inside the foundry.  
Fenris “Don't you remember? You find Ninette's hand here.”  
Hawke “Mother must be here somewhere, we need to look around.” 

They find a trail of blood leading to a trap door.  
Fenris “Looks like your killer might be hiding under the foundry.”  
Hawke “This wasn’t here before.” Her voice wavering. “Mother must be down there, with him!”

She shakes as she descends the latter. Fenris stops her, and before she can object, pulls her into a hug. After a moment she pulls away, but is no longer shaking, taking some strength from him. Her fighting isn't the tamed precise thing it normally is, it's feral and vicious as she takes down the demons.  
The find Alessa, dead, lying on a cot. 

Further in Hawke groans “Oh, Makers breath, that smell.”  
There's a locket on the floor, she picks it up. “This is mother's, father gave it to her… this isn't good.”

They find a place that looks to be a bedroom. There is a painting.  
Hawke “What is this?”  
Aveline “That woman in the portrait… looks a lot like Leandra,, doesn't she?”  
Fenris “This man is either very devoted or very insane.”  
Hawke breaths “I need to find her… now!”

They find the man, standing next to a chair with a figure on it.  
Quentin “I was wondering when you'd show up. Leandra was so sure you'd come for her.”  
Hawke “Where is she?”  
Gascard “Quentin!”  
Quentin “Gascard! So you've reached me after all these years. I figured you gave up.”  
Hawke growled, slightly inhumanly. “You lying bastard, why didn't you tell me his name!”  
Gascard “I had other things on my mind. You promised you'd teach me, Quentin! You're going to deliver on that promise!”  
Quentin “I promised to teach you. I didn't promise to teach you everything.”  
Hawke snarled “Sorry to interrupt this lovely student teacher reunion, but where is my mother!”  
Gascard “Listen to me, together we can defeat Quentin. Once he's dead you’ll have your mother back. His reach and writings will be mine.”  
Quentin “I'm sorry, Gascard. When my wife died, I lost all hope. I wasn’t able to be the mentor you deserved. But now my work is finished, and I can teach you as I always meant to. Come back to me, Gascard.”  
Gascard “You'll let me be part of this? You'll teach me the secrets of necromancy?”  
Quentin “I will keep nothing from you.”  
Hawke “Don't you see what he's done? What part of this is worth having?”  
Gascard “To coax life from dead flesh… I always imagined it would be glorious. Your right, this is monstrous.”  
Quentin “You disappoint me, Gascard. I always thought you, of all people, would understand. Do you know what the strongest force in the universe is? Love. I pieced her together from memory. I find her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers… and at last, her face… ah, this beautiful face. I’ve searched far and wide to find you again, beloved, and no force on this earth will part us.”  
Hawke’s mouth gaped as see saw her mother's head on the sewn together parts of other women. Hawke flew at Quentin, but he had a shield up, a distinctly canine growl erupting from her throat. They fight shades, abominations, skeletons, and desire demons before taking out Quentin. She practically pounces on Quentin when his shield drops. Furiously stabbing at his collar bone, even after he's bled out, screaming. Aveline pulls her off him as her mother wobbles.  
Hawke “Mother!” she catches Leandra and settles her head on her lap.  
Gascard exits while the others are distracted.  
Hawke “His magic was the only thing keeping you alive, I'm sorry.”  
Leandra “I knew you would come.”  
Hawke’s lip trembled “I wasn't fast enough, I should have… noticed sooner, you'd still…”  
Leandra “Ssh. Don't fret darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here, but now… I'm free. I get to see Carver again, and your father, but you'll be here alone.”  
Hawke swallowed “I'll miss you, I love you so. Give Carver and father my best.”  
Leandra smiled “My little girl had become so strong. I love you. You've always made me so proud...”

Hawke stares down at the mangled body of her mother, and Fenris wants to help to do something, but he doesn't know how. She turns her gaze on them, Aveline gasps, her eyes are no longer human. Ears pop up from her hair and a tail wraps around her thigh, in the next blink, a big black wolf is staring at them. Fenris is in awe, Aveline shocked and Varric is taking notes.   
Aveline “H-how?”  
Hawke turns and darts out of the room so fast it takes them a moment to realize it occurred. They tried following, but could find no clue no tracks, nothing.  
Aveline suspicious turns on the others. “What happened?”  
Varric “Surprise, Sparky’s a mage, don't tell anyone.”  
Aveline's eyes go wide. “Mages can do that?”  
Fenris “Not all no. I understand Fereldens burn their dead, doing so now would be a mistake.”  
Aveline outraged, having been close to Leandra. “And how would you know what would be right, you didn't even know her?”  
Fenris “No, I didn't know Leandra, but Hawke told me, once, what their family does with their dead.”  
Varric “What was it, Broody?”  
Fenris “They bury them and plant a tree, as I understand it is something they learned from a Dailish they once met.”  
Aveline “Hawke was very adamant we bury Carver, but I thought that out of not wanting the darkspawn to get to him.”  
“Sparky does have a thing for trees.”  
Aveline “Whatever the case, we need to find Hawke. Fenris you have the best tracking skills out of us, see if you can find her? I will see to this mess and go about informing Gamlen and Bethany.”  
Fenris nodded and left in the direction of the wolf. He looks everywhere, he can't even find so much as a shed hair.


	19. Chapter 19

Hawke felt the emptiness take hold, just like with Father, and its then when the calling is the loudest. She feels the shift start, has no care for strange people who stare at her, Aveline with a mixture of horror and shock, Varric with wonder and that writer’s eye or Fenris with clear awe and appreciation. They mean nothing now, all she wants is the trees. It's always there, right in the back of her mind, the call of the wild. Beats like a drum in her chest, but when it goes quiet, that's when it's nearly impossible to ignore. The trip from Ferelden was void damned, she spent most of it awake because if she slept… her sleeping mind was much less inclined to block out the call. Bethany or Mother watched her as she slept, waking her when her tail or ears would pop out. But now, she had no one to hold on for, no one to protect.   
She's not sure how much time pasts in the coldness, without family to call her back home. When the anger hits she feels like ripping something apart, so she does, first a rabbit, the a stag. She blames the Maker all the while, cursing him for the curse of magic upon her family.  
And when the anger feels like this great gnarled beast, this impossible thing, she kills a bear. Once the bear lie dead, by her teeth as claw alone, that’s when the sadness comes. It's so great that she barely cares enough to heal her wounds. She picks over the bear’s corpse when survival instincts become to strong, She finds she rather likes raw meat when she is a wolf, but repulsed at the idea any other time. A noise wakes her from sleep one night, she prowls out silently into the night to find the source.

What she finds is a striking white wolf staring her down, it reminds her of Fenris and suddenly her heart aches. In a few hours she has found her way back to Kirkwall, or rather the out line. She steals supplies from an unsuspected merchant, right out of his cart when his back was turned, and cleans herself up. It took longer than she planned to get all the grime out of her hair, she must have been here for some time. 

The first thing she does is go to tell Gamlen, and he tells her it's her fault… and the second thing she does is go drinking. She hides when Merrill and Isabela walk by, on the way to the Hanged Man since it's nightfall, and decides to go to the tavern on the docks instead. She, for the first time in her life, has so many drinks she losses count. Then starts a bar fight when she heard someone say: “As if it wa'nt bad 'nough we gost all tese damn knife-ears now we gost to deal wit' the dog lord shite!”

 

A day turns Into two, two to three and three to a week. Aveline has had everyone out, including her guardsmen, looking for Hawke. No one is able to find her, after two weeks without a sound, Fenris gives in and talks Sebastian into sneaking a letter to Bethany. 

 

Dear Fenris, 

I'm sorry everyone is worried, but   
you won't find her until she wishes  
it. I'm afraid she will remain, um,   
in the woods until she is ready.   
So unless you can ask the wildlife,   
you'll just have to wait her out.   
Tala will come back, eventually.   
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. 

Sincerely,   
Bethany

 

Fenris finds himself on the docks three weeks after Hawke disappears, looking for the her dog that has taken to following him around, and he hears a woman laughing: Hawke's laughter. He rounds the corner to find Hawke fighting a group of thugs, barehanded while they come at her with swords and daggers. He feels her magic was over him, healing the damage to her hands and she starts back into the fray, but he stops her with a hand on her arm.

He can smell the alcohol on her breath. “What are you doing?”  
“It's a fight Fenny, get In or get out, your choice.”  
“How much have you drunk?”  
She shrugs “Lost count.”  
His eyes go wide, because she never losses count, she keeps count for everyone else. She rips her arm from him and swings at the closest man, who just happens to be guardsmen Donnic.   
She looks at the guard, drunkenly giggling. “Oops, guess Avie is teaching stealth after all.”   
Throwing a wink back at Fenris, she runs, her dog follows after.  
Fenris helps Donnic up. “I apologize, she recently lost her mother and is not taking it well.”  
Fenris helps the guard stop the fight, which was apparently a bar brawl that got out of hand, he speaks with Donnic, hoping to keep this from causing trouble.  
He returns home after failing to find Hawke. The woman is remarkable at covering her tracks, even while drunk, it would seem. He walks into his room, only to stop at the sound of someone breathing he grips his sword and prepared for an attack, only to realize it's the drunken slumber of the very woman he had been looking for, with an empty bottle of wine lying on her lap and her mabari snuffling at her feet. 

As he goes to remove the bottle she jolts awake. 

The lips she normally bites is quivering, tears pool in her eyes. Clutching his arm.“He's right, isn't he? This is my fault, if I had noticed sooner, if I had paid attention my mother would still be here. If I was a better daughter she would have told me!”  
“Hawke, that's-“  
“If It wasn't for this cursed magic, she would be alive.” With that she broke down into sobs, and she wraps herself around his arm.   
'Cursed magic? When had she ever seen it as anything but a gift. How many times has she said so?’ “Hawke, what are you talking about, you love magic.”  
“Magic took everything from me! My mother my father my sister my brother even the ability to just take a tumble whenever I sodding feel like, be able to trust whoever I sodding want!”

She punctuated each word with the pound of her fist against his armored chest. As the last word comes out a small burst of telekinetic magic erupts from palm sending him staggering back a few steps. Hawke stares at him with wide eyes, and bolts for the door. Fenris throws himself at her, bodily taking her to the floor. She vainly wiggles, trying to free herself, but only succeeds in rolling from her side to her back. Fenris has her pinned down his legs tangled with hers, arms on either side of her face, caging her in. He can feel her heart beating savagely against her ribs, her shallow quick breaths, and he wants to ease the pressure but fears she'll bolt again. Her eyes start to water, and before he can register the look in her eyes, she leans up to kiss him. 

She is kissing him, and he is letting her, she manages to get her hand free and bury it in his hair. That is what snaps him out of his daze. 'She is with someone else, you had your chance and lost it! This is only because she is drunk and in pain. But, why did she come here and not the abominations? Probably for the wine… yes, that's the only thing that makes sense. Venhedis! I'm a fool, no doubt, but this must end before she regrets it.'   
Fenris pulls her hands out of his hair and pins them above her head. He sees the tears sliding down her cheeks, and wants nothing more than to let her forget, but it would ruin him… and her relationship with the abomination.   
A sob rips from her throat. “I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to.  
Only needing one hand to hold both of her delicate wrists, the other drifts to her hair.  
“Shh. It's okay, I know. I'm not upset, Hawke. But, you are.”  
She let's the tears fall, unable to wipe them with her hands pinned above her, and starts babbling incoherently.  
Unable to stop himself, he kisses the tears from her cheek, and nuzzles her nose with his.  
She looks at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

Fenris takes a moment to breathe her in. Stale ale, but under that she smells of trees and fur, of animals and wilderness. “If I let you up, will you run?”  
Hawke shakes her head, not wanting anyone else. They sit across from each other, knees touching  
“I don't know what to say, but I am here.”  
“I want to go home.”  
“I'll take you there.”  
Sniffle “Can't, it's gone.”  
Eyebrow raised “Hawke, I just passed your home, it is still there.”  
“My home is dead, and locked away.”  
Fenris stares at her awhile, confused. “What do you mean?”  
“Home isn't a place, it's the people in a place.”  
He says nothing, he never had a home himself, how could he know? Hawke lifted her head, her eyes red-rimmed with tears still falling, a quiver in her lip.  
“Will you hold me, please?”   
Fenris, uncertain of his voice, nods his head. They get up, Fenris removes his armor, and lay down on his bed. Hawke snuggles up against him, much like she did that night 'but such thoughts are foolish’, her head tucked into his chest and arms snaking around his waist.   
“Will-will you?”  
“What is it?”  
“Will you stroke my hair, like my papa used too, and call me little amatus?”   
She is looking at him with big watery eyes, and he can't help but acquiesce. Fenris has no idea how she knew such a word, or why her father would call her it. Once her breathing has slowed, and she is no longer crying, does he voice his curiosity.   
“Do you know what 'Amatus' means Hawke?”  
She shrugs her shoulders. “It's what pa used call ma. He called us children his little amatus', I miss him.”

Fenris spends the rest of the night trying to not think about how it felt to have her in his arms. The next morning Hawke woke wrapped around Fenris, the morning bringing with it the memories. 

'Fenris held me? I thought he was done with me, that he wasn't willing?’ Her thoughts spiral over the conversations and actions he has done since that night. 'Maybe, maybe he just needs time to work things out? Maybe he does want me, but can't be with me right now? Oh, I'm a fool. Of course he can't be with me now, he thinks it would put me in more danger. And he must be frightened or possibly confused about things. That shouldn't have been so hard for me to figure out, he's been a slave nearly his whole life! I love him, and maybe he will be able to love me, If I give him time.'

Fenris woke and saw she was awake and smiling softly. “Tala?”  
Her given name on his lips, cemented her thoughts. He does care, she just needs to wait, to have patience with him, and he is worth it.   
She leans her forehead against him his. “I'm okay, now. Thank you, for everything Fenris. I should probably get home, and let everyone know I'm okay.”  
“Yes, we've been doing much worrying and searching for you. Oh, in case you didn't remember, Aveline knows about you.”


	20. Chapter 20

They said good-bye. And Fenris’ heart ached at her leaving, and the fact that she was going to the abomination, or so he thought. The rest of the week was spent with

each of her friends, her family, a day for each respectfully.

 

Hawke was finally free for the day and was walking through the Hightown market when a book at a stall caught her eye. It was bound in red leather, putting the perfect idea into her head. A Slaves Life by the elf Shartan, her father's book, it was a first edition too. Hawke had found her way to mend fences, to let him see that something else is still possible, to hopefully regain her friend. She went home and grabbed the red favor she had given him, and he had left, that night. She knelt in front of her chest from Lothering, her keepsake box, and began taking things out. First was Carver's wolf tooth necklace and his weapon oils, Bethany's scarf and all her jewelry and last was Tala's figurines. Her father had spent hours carving her these little woodland creatures out of different woods for her, they were her most cherished belongings, and there at the bottom was the book she was looking for. She pulled her fathers old leather-bound book from the chest. Bound in dark black leather with A Slaves Life in big silver lettering, she ran her fingers over it remembering the times her she read it, her father gave it to her after she took to her human form again after James. He told her that it helped him when he needed it, and she was familiar with it as it was her father's most prized belonging. 

Tala opened the book and put her red favor between the pages, for Fenris to find, and headed to his place.  
Fenris lets her in and once in his room, she gave him the book red favor tucked in the pages.   
“It's a book.”  
She smiled, practically vibrating. “It's a subject your familiar with. The book is by Shartan, the elf who helped Andraste free the slaves, you know about him right?”  
“A little, it's just-“ 'She will not judge me.' “Slaves are not permitted to read, I've never learned.”  
Hawke's smile faltered slightly before she took a step closer. “It's not to late to learn, Fenris.”  
“Isn't it? Sometimes I wonder. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I do appreciate the thought.” 'This will allow you more time with her, you fool, agree.' “I've always wanted to learn more of Shartan, perhaps this is my chance.”  
Hawke's face lit up in that way that never failed to make his heart pound. “Want to start now?”  
Fenris nodded and they sat at the table, he put the book down and it seemed to have something in it. Fenris opened the book to the object and his heart sped up even more. “Hawke, would the abomination be pleased with this?”  
Hawke shrugged “Nope, but we were never together.”  
“Hawke I saw him enter in the middle of the night after he propositioned you.”  
She smirked at his accidental admission. “Yes, but I couldn't go through with it.”  
Fenris looked at her, his eyes so full of tentative hope that it damn near broke her heart.  
Fenris breathed “Why?”  
Hawke smiled softly “Because, Fenris, I belong to you. When he came that night, he made me see through my pain, and I realized that you had stolen my heart.”  
Fenris looked at the book, ashamed. “Hawke, I.”   
Hawke placed her finger on his mouth. “Shh, we don't need to talk about it, not until you're ready. But, know that as long as you wear this I am yours and I will wait for you. For however long you need, you are worth it.” Turning back to the book, dropping her hand, acting like the previous conversation didn't happen. “So, we need to determine the best place to start your lessons. Do you recognize any words or letters?”

Fenris blinked at her then looked to the favor. 'She is giving me the chance to keep her? How can she think I am worth someone like her?' Fenris grabbed her favor and tied it around his wrist he decided that, so long that she would allow him, he was never taking it off. Thus they began their very first reading lesson, they made sure to have one a week no matter what. Though they held lessons more frequently when time permitted. Every time Hawke saw that favor around his wrist, she smiled and her day brightened. 

After his acceptance of her favor, and continuous wearing it. Hawke decided to make her own mark. So, after getting the proper things, she created lyrium-like lines on her wolf tattoo. They shimmered and were slightly blue, no lyrium was involved. But she thought it was a perfect representation of him, her favor, her devotion. She had worried that the wolf would take her, but her father told her that one day she will find someone stronger than the wolf. 

“So someone will tame my wolf papa?”  
“No, little amatus, no one can tame a wolf. Not really. But one day your wolf will find it's mate in the heart of some extraordinarily lucky man. Your soul mate.”  
“My soul mate?”  
“Yes, this person will be…” He stops to chuckle add stroke her hair. “Very important, they are the person the Maker planned for you, but you must take care.”  
“Why, papa?”  
“Don't interrupt, amatus. The Maker makes plans but we don't always follow them. When you find him, and the time is right, there will be a sign telling you.”  
“What kind of sign, papa?”  
“Only you will know, and only you will understand. Do not squander it, do not let barriers stand in your way. This is a very special gift from the Maker, one most people ignore. Far to ensorcelled in this world to see it, to heed it.”  
Smiling brightly “I will, Papa, I promise.”

The next morning Hawke heads to Anders clinic, with the Tevinter Chantry amulet she found in the slave den. Having decided that it would be a good gift to him. And she hoped it would repair some of the damage done by her foolishness.  
Hawke “I thought you might like this.”  
Anders narrowed his eyes at her. “I don't understand. You got me a gift? Is there some… Free marcher holiday I'm not aware of?” he looks at it. “Is it a… that's a  
Tevinter Chantry amulet! Do you want me to get executed? It's sacrilege to wear those in any land under the Divine."  
Hawke smirked “And here I thought you fought for mages right’s, no matter whoever’s bad side that puts you on.”  
Anders smiled “I like it. Maybe not on the outside of my clothes, I'm not that eager to face the hangman's noose, but I appreciate the thought. I've never really thought about what life would be like in a Tevinter Chantry. In that Circle, they make it sound like the void itself. The Black Divine stalking Thedas, making it unsafe for kittens and virgins.”  
Hawke chuckled “I haven’t noticed to many of either in Kirkwall.”  
Anders laughed “And fewer every day, I suspect. I appreciate the gift. Perhaps one day I can give you one as meaningful.”  
Hawke looked away and bit her lip. “Or you could, maybe, not be so angry with me.”  
Anders “What do you mean?”  
Hawke “I'm sorry, about what happened. I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't mean to. I wasn’t in the best place, not that that excuses it, I'm just sorry I hurt my friend because of it. And I'm sorry I slapped you.”  
Anders wrapped her in a hug. “It's okay, Hawke. I still don't know what you see in him, but I'm not mad. I'm not. I'll always be here, when he lets you down again, I'll be here.”  
Hawke smiled sadly at him. “See you later.”  
Anders “Goodbye Hawke.”

She headed to Merrill's, wooden halla in hand. Merrill let her in.  
Hawke “I've got something for you.”  
Merrill “Ooh. Did you get this from master Ilen? Mythal! Did I miss some important occasion? I'm so sorry! I'll make it up to you, I promise.”  
Hawke chuckled “There's no occasion, Merrill. I just thought you'd like it.”  
Merrill “I-I do like it! I'm sorry, I'm making a mess of this… No one has ever given me a present before. Useful things, tools or clothes, because I needed them. Not… just because. Ma'serannas. I’ll find a good place for this.”


	21. Chapter 21

Hawke leaves and heads to Fenris' for a reading lesson. She likes teaching him, he's a quick study, almost thirsty for every bit of information. Hawke gets a strange message from Aveline during Fenris' lesson.  
After they finish he accompanies her to the keep.  
Aveline was speaking to one of her guardsmen when they entered.  
Guard “We'll need to give them answers by tomorrow, Capitan.”  
Aveline “I'll have them, dismissed.”  
Guard “The seneschal was particularly vocal…”  
Aveline “Dismissed. You'd think the captain of the Guard could requisition a templar or two, but no, that would be demeaning. Can't have them working for the people when eternity needs a nanny.”  
Hawke smirked “That's why I remain unimportant, less pressure.”  
Aveline “As if the return of the Amell's hadn't set Hightown on its ear.”  
Hawke chuckled “As long as it's off its arse.”  
Aveline “Sure, have your fun. But the coin you poured into Kirkwall tipped what balance there was.”  
Hawke “I didn't realize I was making it worse by getting ahead.”  
Aveline “I'm just harassing you. Although you are a bit like the center of a hurricane.”  
Fenris chuckled “That is apt.”  
Hawke stuck her tongue out at him.  
Aveline 'Well, that's different, normal. I don't know with these two.'  
Hawke chuckled “Grouse all you want, but the Aveline I know doesn’t regret a second as Capitan.”  
Aveline smiled “They'd have to drag me out of here. And, I'm sure, some are lining up to try. Hawke, I need… a favor that I can only trust to you.”  
Hawke “You can always ask.”  
Aveline “It should be a small matter, but I worry. I need you to give something to guardsmen Donnic. Here, in the barracks. No questions, and he's not to know it's from me.”  
Hawke “It must be something important if you're going through all this trouble.”  
Aveline “That's none if your business.”  
Hawke snorted “That's abrupt, even for you.”  
Aveline “I already regret this. I'm not about to make it worse by exposing… unnecessary facts. You can accept that or not, but that's all I can say.”  
Hawke “Donnic, the one we pulled from an ambush… and I… we pulled from an ambush?”  
Aveline “The event that put me here. But this is... a different need of the Guard and it's captain. And you're doing very badly at the no questions part.”  
Hawke smirked “You can count on me.”  
Aveline smiled “Thank you. And hurry back with his reaction. I appreciate this Hawke, I really do”  
She handed Hawke a medallion. Hawke found Donnic.  
Hawke “Guardsmen Donnic.”  
Donnic “Serah Hawke. You’re doing better, I trust, no more bar brawls?”  
Hawke flushed “I’m sorry about that, truly, I thought you were one of the… not helping.”  
Donnic chuckled “It's fine. Nice to see you as well, Fenris, we still on for that game of dimondback?”  
Fenris nodded.   
Hawke smirked “This is for you. It's apparently very important.”  
Donnic “I'll take you at your word. It's a copper relief of… marigolds? Ah, and it helpfully says so. Marigolds. Well, how crafty, is there a meaning to this that I should know?”  
Hawke blinked. “Just keep it. I'm sure it's more than it seems.”  
Donnic “It would have to be. Right. I'm sure we both have things to do… of varying import. Serah Hawke.”  
As they left Fenris leaned over. “I am not seeing the sense to this.”  
Hawke chuckled “To punish me for hitting him… does she know about that?”   
Aveline “You're back? Of course you are. You're efficient, get things done, good or ill. So, how did Donnic react?”  
Hawke blinked “About as well as one would when confused.”  
Aveline frowned “I thought it was clear. Metal is strong. Copper ages well. Flowers are soft.”  
Hawke’s face scrunched and she shook her head.  
Aveline “I've clearly gone about his the wrong way. Don't talk to him again. Just take this. The patrols for next week. Post it on the roster and just… listen.”  
Hawke huffed “Posting the roster just over there.”  
Aveline “I need to know exactly how he reacts. That's key. Thank you.”  
They leave her office.   
Fenris “So much doubt. Unusual, but clearly important.”  
They post the roster and wait for his reaction. Hawke tells Aveline.  
Aveline “Donnic thinks I'm punishing him? But Hightown is a safe patrol, a reward.”  
Hawke “You wanted his reaction.”  
Aveline sighs “Alright, I can fix this. I need… I need three goats and a sheaf of wheat. You'll take them to his mother.”  
Hawke raises an eyebrow and bits her cheek to keep from laughing.  
Aveline looked down “It's a dowry tradition, maybe it'll smooth the process.”  
Fenris “A dowry? Then… this isn't about accusations.”  
Aveline “No, it's not.”  
Fenris “She's courting the man. With a fear reserved for dragons.”  
Hawke mutters “I want to be a dragon. Aveline, you know you can talk to me.”  
Aveline “What am I'm to say? That a grown woman can't speak her mind? I've been focused on being captain for so long, that's all I know.”  
Fenris “But you were married, were you not?”  
Aveline “That was… a long time ago. It was easier, or seemed to be.”  
Hawke “I can't imagine you having terrible speaking your mind.”  
Aveline “It's just fear. I know it's foolish but I can't get away from it. What about you and Fenris? How do you deal with the danger of your lives?”  
Hawke bites her lip, looks to Fenris, back to Aveline. “Maybe we’re not the best example.”  
Aveline “But you understand, I feel paralyzed, I hate it.”  
Hawke smiled “Well, this little dance certainly isn't helping. So what will?”  
Aveline “I'm the captain. He's my guardsmen, I can't get past that.”  
Fenris “If the existing relationship prevents a new one, go somewhere you are equal.”  
Aveline “What? Just go out somewhere, like it's that easy?”  
Hawke smirked “What, too simple?”  
Aveline sighed “Tell Donnic… invite him to the Hanged Man. Don't tell him about me. Just do anything to get him there. He's not like the others, I don't want him to know he's meeting the captain.”  
Her and Fenris find Donnic, again.  
Hawke “Serah Donnic, are you free? I need to ask you something.”  
Donnic “I have no immediate patrols, why?”  
Hawke “A night at the Hanged Man, for all the Guard. You'll come? Of course you'll come.”  
Donnic “Should I have heard this? Very well, Serah Hawke, I guess I'll there.”  
As he leaves he mumbles “Never good to be the last to hear of these things.”

Hawke and Fenris head to the Hanged Man.  
Hawke chuckled “Three goats!”  
Fenris smirked “You find this amusing?”  
Hawke smirked “Maker yes! That's just what I needed. So you and Donnic, eh?”  
Fenris “Yes, we meet up for dimondback, on occasion.”  
Hawke chuckled “When did that start?”  
Fenris chuckled “After you started a bar brawl and decked him.”  
Hawke turned an endearing she of red and Fenris tugged at the favor.

Donnic came in, Hawke sat with him until he left saying he wasn't interested in her.  
Aveline “I-I couldn't do it. What did he say?”  
Hawke chuckled “Apparently, I'm not his type. He thinks I'm interested in him.”  
Aveline “I'm an idiot.”  
Hawke smirked “Admitting it is a good step. Where are you headed next?”  
Aveline smiled “The barracks. Ferelden? The deepest hole I can find?”  
Hawke “You've never been the hiding type.”  
Aveline “I know, all right. But I freeze up. The only place I'm not a mess is on patrol. And killing highwaymen doesn't afford much opportunity for banter.”  
Fenris frowns “Again she deflects.”  
Aveline “I will not risk…”  
Fenris “You’re squandering something you don't understand.”  
Hawke knowing Fenris to be a good source of advice. “You can't ignore advice from such a state source.”   
Aveline “But I can't fight and talk…”  
Hawke “We’ll clear the way, and you can see if he's the one.”  
Aveline “You're too good at this. But just you two, if that dwarf or whore are there, I'll kill them. You clear the route up the wounded coast and I… will think of something to say.”  
Hawke chuckled and acquiesced.

The next afternoon find Hawke, Fenris and Wolf on the coast. They clear the first area and light the fire.  
Aveline “It's a nice night for an evening.”  
Donnic chuckled “As you say, captain.”  
Aveline forced a chuckle “Yes, as I say.”  
Hawke shook her head. “Maker, she's bad at this. Almost as bad as me.”  
Fenris “You're not bad.”  
Hawke snorted “Fenris, you said someone wanted to skin you, and I said it would be a waste… that's horrible.”  
Fenris smirked “I enjoyed it.”  
Hawke flushed and smiled “We should go.”  
They light the second fire and Aveline had Donnic tuned out as she talks about blades.  
Hawke chuckled “Well that was, painful. I take it back, she's worse than me.”  
Fenris chuckled “You hadn't figured that out when she wished to give his mother goats?”  
Hawke smirked “Come on.”  
At the third fire she'd had enough and waited for them.  
Aveline “Well, guardsmen, good patrol. I think we're fine here, and I… Hawke what are you doing here?”  
Hawke sighed “Aveline.”  
Aveline “Hawke don't.”  
Hawke smirked “We don't have all night, you know.”  
Donnic “Would someone please tell me what's going on?”  
Fenris “She wants you, it is pathetic and admirable.”  
Donnic “Captain?”  
Aveline laughs nervously.  
Donnic “I should… get back to the barracks.”  
Aveline frowned “I thought we were friends.”  
Hawke smiled softly “Friends sometimes push.”  
Aveline “I-I have to fix this. He'll file a complaint… ask for a transfer. You! You're coming with me to explain why you put him on the spot! Double time, Hawke, or so help me…”

They made it back to the barracks in record time, mostly because of Aveline's swift, angry stomping.

Aveline began pacing. “Maker, where is Donnic? I have to… head this off before it goes to the Viscount. Maybe a formal apology, something that shows the Guard they can still trust me.”  
Hawke “You're they're captain, not a golem. They expect you to have feelings.”  
Aveline “Not if they get in the way of the job.”  
Hawke “You don't know that.”  
Aveline scowled “I won't be that stupid again.”  
Donnic announced his presence with a cough. “My apologize, Serah Hawke, but I need a moment with the captain.”  
Aveline “Guardsmen Donnic?”  
Donnic “Please.”  
Aveline looked to Hawke, who tilted her head. As Donnic followed Aveline into her office he tipped his head to Hawke, she gave him a glare that said. “Hurt her and you'll beg for death.” Donnic nodded in understanding. Hawke waited for a time, and she heard giggling, before leaving.

Hawke returned later that day, both for a follow up, and to head to the Hanged Man.  
Aveline had a sweet smile on her face. “Guardsmen Donnic… did not file a complaint. This was all incredibly stupid, and you made it wonderful.”  
Hawke chuckled “You finally mastered the obvious, but, I'll take your word on the second part.”  
Aveline still smiling “You'll get the chance, I was mute and now I want to sing.”  
Hawke “Please don't.”  
Aveline “I just… there's no way I can ever repay you.” She gave Hawke a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. Hey, can I ask you something? Was there a moment when you thought I was beyond help?”  
Hawke smirked “Never.”  
Aveline “You’re a terrible liar.”  
Hawke chuckled “As far as you know.”  
Aveline “Shout when you need me, Hawke, I'll always be there. Just, knock first.”  
Hawke smiled “Come on you sap, they're waiting at the Hanged Man. And I have a story to tell.”  
Aveline “Hawke, no.”


	22. Chapter 22

Hawke chuckled as the left for Lowtown.  
They had been in the tavern for an hour when Fenris piped up. “It is good to be captain of the Guard, yes?”  
Aveline “No, I will not change the patrols around your mansion again. There’s already been to many questions.”  
Fenris “You wound my pride with such accusations.”  
Aveline raided an eyebrow. “But you were going to ask."  
Fenris smirked “Eventually.”  
Aveline laughs “I'll look at the roster and see what I can do.” She sobers and looks to Isabela. “I had trouble with another one of your women, Isabela. She stole from a… distracted client. You're lucky she wasn't jailed.”  
Isabela’s eyebrow raises, though her eyes remain firmly on her cards. “My women? I am but a shepherd. And what free enterprise are you oppressing now?”  
Aveline scowled “Theft is not an enterprise.”  
Isabela smirked “Opportunities insufficiently guarded. Victimless crimes.”  
Aveline “Except for all the victims.”  
Isabela “Details. Victimless details.”  
Hawke smiled, she had been feeling a bit groggy, but ignored it in favor of good times with great friends.   
Sebastian “I hope this wasn’t presumptions, but I added your husband’s name to the memorial wall in the Chantry. Yours as well, Hawke.”  
Hawke frowned.  
Aveline “Wesley? But… you never knew him.”  
Sebastian “He was a Templar. He refused to abandon the people of Ferelden to the Blight. He died to soon. The Grand Cleric will read his name during the chant of remembrance.”  
Aveline “Thank you, that is very kind.”  
Varric sighed “Am I the only one who missed that Choir Boy here just said Sparky had a husband?”  
Sebastian “I did not…”  
Isabela “Ohh. Can you imagine Hawke married?”  
Anders face takes a soft look. “I can. I think she'd make a wonderful wife and mother.”  
Hawke face scrunched. Fenris narrowed his eyes.  
Aveline “Hawke wasn’t married… Were you?”  
Hawke stared at the wall, and without thinking, her mind getting foggy. “Well, I almost was…”  
Isabela spews her ale across the table. “Excuse me!”  
It took a minute for Hawke to realize what was said, and couldn't muster a proper sentence. Shaking her head to clear the fog she felt. “I'm not really up to this, I'm tired I think I'm going to call it an early night.” She left without waiting for any response, counting on Varric to launch some ridiculous story to cover for her. Probably involving kidnappings and attempted arranged weddings, or donkeys.

Hawke felt miserable, groggy, slow, congested and stuffed up. Ugh! She refused any mentions the servants made about getting Anders. Her father never healed colds, it helps make a stronger immune system, he said. Besides she didn't have the strength to not stab him if he began, and he would, about mages rights and her so-called lack of concern… or Fenris. 

When she had been absent for a week, with strict orders to the staff not to let anyone in, Fenris grew worried. So climbing to the roof of his mansion, he walked over to Hawke's mansion and entered through her balcony. He found her room lit brightly by the fireplace, even though it was midday, and her blankets in a mound on her bed. There were discarded tissues and old soup bowls piled up in the corner. His concern grew as he saw no sign of Hawke. The tension in his heart growing, until the pile of blankets coughed and groaned.  
Fenris sighed “Hawke.”  
She popped her head out. “How did you get in here? I told Bodahn (Coughs) no visitors!”  
Fenris smirked, relieved “You left the balcony unlocked.”  
Hawke scowled at him. “Breaking and entering? Really, Fenris?”  
Fenris shrugged “Normal day with you.”  
More coughing, and hacking. Fenris went over to try and help but she waved him off.   
“Fenris, I don't want you (coughing)”  
Fenris tensed, thinking she was going to throw him out, he wished to help if he could.  
Her coughing ends. “To see me like this. I'm a mess.”  
Fenris sighed “You are sick, what is my concern is, is how sick are you?”  
“It's just a bad cold, I'll live.”  
“Perhaps, but you could get over it faster if you had assistance.”  
Hawke blew her nose and threw her tissue into the pile. “I have staff.”  
“From the looks of this place, they haven't been allowed to help.”  
Groaning “Fenris, do you really want to fuss over me? Just leave me to my misery, I'll see you on the other side.”  
Hawke, having decided that would get him to leave, burrowed back under the blankets, and fell into a restless sleep.

Fenris waited, trying to think of the right words, when he realized she was sleeping. He gathered all her soup bowls and piled them on a tray and put all her tissues into a waste bin. Once the room was clean he took the waste bin and bowls downstairs. Much to the confused surprise of Bodahn and Orana. Fenris then set Orana to make the spicy soups they used in Tevinter, instead of the clear broths Hawke had been consuming. He had Bodahn run and get some special herbs to clear her sinuses. Orana and Bodahn were so pleased that something was being done about their mistress, and with her tendency to acquiesce to the elf's wishes, they readily agreed. 

Hawke mumbled, still half asleep. “But the Dragon doesn't want the cake.” Causing Fenris to chuckle, and her to snap awake.  
“Fenris?”  
Fenris handed her a bowl of orangish colored soup and commanded. “Eat.”  
Hawke scrunched her face up “Maker what is this, and where is my normal soup?”  
Fenris motions to the bowl. “Your 'normal' soup is not good enough, this will help more, trust me.”  
Hawke frowned and took a small bite. The soup was warm and spicy and it made her sinuses open a bit, allowing her a more easy breath. She was not normally one for spicy foods, but found the soup to be perfect, and every bite made it easier to breathe. “Mmm, Maker, this is good.”  
Fenris chuckled “You are sounding better.”  
Hawke nodded “I'm breathing better, where did you get this?”  
“It's the common soup for those who have colds, in Tevinter.”  
Hawke's brow furrowed “In Ferelden, it's clear broth.”  
Fenris hmmed and motioned to the soup.   
To which she mumbled. “Pushy.” 

After her meal was finished he helped her straighten her blankets and insisted she sleep. Her stomach full and being able to breath, made sleep come easy and fast. She slept peacefully, and being propped up on pillows to help her breath, she slept soundly for the first time since this cold started. Fenris let himself down to the kitchen, when he was sure she was asleep, for some food of his own. As soon as he got down there, expecting to find some bread or cheese, he found a meal set on the table.

Orana spoke quietly from behind him. “For you, ser. For helping the mistress. She wouldn't permit us to send for help, or anything beyond broth and logs for her fire. We were quite worried.”  
Fenris nodded “Thank you. How are you liking it here, Orana?”  
Orana smiled “Oh, very much. Mistress Hawke is so nice, and she even pays me. She said I'm not a slave anymore. And she said if I wanted to work somewhere else, she would help me. But I don't want to work anywhere else, I want to stay with Hawke.”  
Fenris smirked “She's like that. A very strange woman, a very good woman.”  
Orana nodded vigorously as she left the kitchen, and Fenris sat down to his meal. 

A few days of Fenris' care and Hawke was good as new, and insisted he accept food for thanks.


	23. Chapter 23

A few days later, Hawke had received a letter from Varric, it was short stating only he had information on her father. She walked into the Hanged Man, Aveline and Isabela were the only others there, when she saw Varric's face she knew.  
Hawke sighed “Fuck. I was right, wasn't I?”  
Aveline and Isabela both stared at her with wide eyes, having never heard her use such language before, and Varric just nodded his head.  
Aveline looked between Varric and Hawke. “Right about what Hawke?”  
Hawke practically fell into a seat and looked at Isabela. “Got any of that rum left?”  
Isabela “That bad?”  
Hawke sighed and dropped her head into her hands.  
Varric “Forget that Rivani, I'll get the Antivan brandy I had stashed away.” He retrieves the bottle and pours Hawke a mug.  
Hawke takes a generous gulp. “Apparently…my father was a slave.”  
Aveline reached and squeezed Hawke's hand. “Hawke.”  
Hawke scrubbed her hand on her face, took another drink, and sighed. “Where's the information, Varric?”  
Varric hands her a packet of parchment. “It's all in there.” Sighs “I'm sorry, Hawke.”  
She gulped down the rest of the brandy, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and stood. She grabbed the packet and left the tavern without another word.  
Varric rubbed his head. “Well, shit.”

Hawke found herself in front of Fenris' mansion, but couldn't remember how she got there. She stared down at the packet in her hands for awhile. She didn't know how long she had stood there when Fenris opened his door.  
Fenris “Hawke?”  
Hawke started, wiped her wet eyes, she hasn't realized she was crying “I…yes?”  
Fenris examined her, trying to find out what had her in such a state. “Would you want to come in?”  
Hawke looked back at him, slightly confused, remembering where she was. “Okay…”  
She walked ahead of him, absent-mindedly. Fenris scrutinized her, he feared that she was acting like this because something had happened to Bethany.  
Hawke sat down on the bench, squeezed the packet to her chest, as she stared at the flames. She jumped when Fenris put his hand on her shoulder, she had forgottenhe was there.  
Fenris stared. “Hawke, what is wrong?”  
Hawke chuckled ruefully and held the packet out in front of her, staring at it as if it was a viper. “This thing contains the proof that my…father was a…”  
Fenris sat down on the bench to her opposite. “Hawke?”  
She met his eyes. “Slave.”  
Fenris narrowed his eyes, until he realized, she was finishing her sentence not calling him. Angry that his reflex would think such of her, she would never… wait. “You're father was a slave?”  
Hawke nodded, and dropped the packet. “I've had suspicions for awhile, but at that abandoned slaver den…I knew, I just knew.”  
Fenris’ eyes widened. “You mean…Hadriana?”  
Hawke sighed. “My father had a brand on his neck, I saw the same markings on the slaves there.” She glared at the packet, then ripped it open. She was quite as she read through the papers. When she was done she held the packet on her palms, and with a white-hot mage fire, turned it to ash.  
Long after the paper was reduced to ash, she stared into the fire. Fenris knew that she wasn't going to talk until she was ready, so he had an idea that might help… I may also exacerbate things.  
Fenris stood and, after retrieving his sword, he strapped it onto his back. This got her attention.  
“Going somewhere?”  
“Yes.”  
Her face fell, and she shifted.  
“So are you.”  
This brought her eyes to his. “I'm sorry I shouldn't-“  
Fenris smiled softly “You misunderstand. We are going to go out to the coast and kill the group of slavers I tracked there. I was going to pass the information to Aveline, but this seems a better course.”  
Hawke stared at him, and he saw the moment she understood his words. “Okay.”  
They head to the coast in silence, Hawke immersed in her head trying to sort through the emotions whirring around in her. “It's horrible, you know.”  
Fenris, feigned ignorance. “What is?”  
Hawke stumbled, turned her eyes to the sky. “Nothing.”  
Fenris 'She is not quite ready then, perhaps after we deal with the slavers. I'm not sure that this is the right course, but she did come to me… I don't want to let her down… again.'

They sneak into the slaver refuge, re-rigging their traps to work against them instead of the intruders they were meant for. Hawke enjoys the subterfuge, knowing Fenris prefers a straight fight and is doing this for her, helps alleviate the crushing weight that's been on her heart since she walked into the Hanged Man. 

They get in to place while Hawke uses her magic to create a bellowing roar, one that emulates a dragon, sending the slavers scurrying to their believed exit and perceived safety. It also allows Hawke and Fenris to fight away for the cages holding the slavers 'catch'. Once the slavers are dead, they free the captives. 

The captives, now free, and after profusely thanking their rescuers, reveal that they were not slaves. They were merely unfortunate enough to be come upon by men without morals. Hawke gave them all a few sovereigns and escorted them to the city.

Once they had said their goodbyes to the people the saved they ended up back at his place, sitting in front of the fire. Neither had spoken for some time, Hawke wanting to work things though, and Fenris giving her leave to do so.  
Hawke suddenly broke the silence with whispered words. “Was he ashamed?”  
Fenris looks at her, studying her profile. “Perhaps.”  
“His name was Cade. He was taken to the Ferelden Circle by a native man named Malcolm Hawke. When he was transferred to Kirkwall he had a friend in the Templars change his name to Malcolm Hawke, a new name for a new life.” She ran her hands through her hair. “Why did he lie? Did he think we would care, that it would matter to us?”  
Fenris watched as the tears rolled down her face. “It does matter to you, Hawke. You do care.” She glared at him. 'Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say…' He shifted his gaze to the fire. “What I mean, Hawke, is that it does matter. Not in that manner. You are obviously affected by it, to say otherwise would be erroneous.”  
Hawke frowned, and for a moment he feared that he had said the wrong thing, he was not adept at comforting.  
Hawke sighed. “Your right. It does change things, but not… I wouldn't ever have thought less of him. None of us would have. Was he ashamed?”  
“Yes.”  
She turned to face him, an understanding dawning in her eyes. She had been so confused and upset that she couldn't see. “I'm sorry. This must seem, I must seem, horrible to you. I find this out and act like it's the end of the world, yet insist that it wouldn't have mattered…” She wants to slip her hand in his, but is unsure if it would be welcomed.  
“You don't have to apologize. You did nothing wrong.”  
“Maybe. But I should have seen it better.”  
Fenris finally turned and looked at her, one brow raised. “How could you? This news, no matter how much you believed in it's truth beforehand, is distressing.”  
Hawke bites her lip. “You are ashamed.”  
“Yes.”  
“You shouldn't be.”  
“Why?”  
“Because, you didn't do anything wrong.”  
“You say that, and yet, you have no idea the… iniquity of that statement.”  
“Maybe, but I still stand firm in my belief.”  
Fenris scowled. “Then perhaps I should endeavor to explain the fallaciousness of that belief.”  
Hawke made no move no sound, just waited.  
Fenris gulped. “I can't, Hawke… not now.”  
This time she slid her hand into his clawed one, and tugged. “Come, let's go spar.”  
Fenris gave her an extremely grateful look, he was pleased she hadn’t pressed, and happy she suggested the sure thing that would pull his mind from it spiral.


	24. Chapter 24

Covered in sweat, and breathing harshly, they decided to put the blades away for the night. Hawke was sitting on the floor in front of the fire when Fenris returned to the room, bottle of wine in hand. Fenris stopped when he realized that she was wearing his old tunic.

Hawke smiled slightly. “Sorry, about the shirt, the leather was just… very uncomfortable. And my normal overnight clothes are on the line today.”  
Fenris nodded looking at the ceiling. “Our session did last longer, and we don't normally spar after a job.”  
Hawke chuckled, and nodded to the bottle. “Exactly. So are you planning on redecorating?”  
Fenris chuckled and sat next to her. “Not today. Or at least not now.”  
Hawke smirked, then it faded as she looked into the fire. “Is it wrong that I'm glad Mother died before I found out?”  
Fenris handed her the bottle, and she took a hefty swig. “You could have just kept it from her, could you not?”  
Hawke chuckled sadly. “No. Mother was always good at telling when I was upset or something was bothering me. It wouldn't, I wouldn't have been able to lie… and she would have figured out what was going on… would have got me to tell her.”  
“I can't imagine what it's like to lose your family. Anything I say would be insufficient, I'm sorry.”  
Hawke sighed. “That's not entirely true, Fenris.”  
“What do you mean?”  
Hawke looked at him, a sadness in her eyes. “I have memories of them, I may have lost them… but I got to keep my memories. You lost your family… the very memories taken from you… I'm the one who can't imagine.”  
Fenris felt an urge to kiss her, he pushed it down, but she saw it. Hawke leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his, it lasted barely a moment, and Fenris wasn’t sure it had happened. His voice croaked. “Hawke…” he could see the sad smile on her face, even as she stared into the fire. He dropped his head to her shoulder, breathed in her scent, and watched the fire.  
After some time, neither sure how much, Hawke whispered. “We used to do that…”  
“Yes…”  
“Why do things need to change?”  
“Because… things change?”  
Hawke sunk her fingers into his hair. 'Maybe it's because now we know what the other tastes like, feels like, we know what it's like to be one… I guess we can't exactly go back to normal.' “It really is quite soft…”  
Fenris shifted into her hand. “I enjoy you doing that… it's soothing.”  
“Then, maybe, you should let me do it more often.”  
“Maybe I will.”  
“Fenris…"  
“I… am not ready, Hawke. But, when I am…”  
Hawke shifted so she could more easily run her fingers through his hair. “Fenris, I've… told you something I never wanted to tell anyone. I felt it somehow made me weak… this thing that happened.”  
“You are not weak, Hawke.”  
Hawke stopped to lightly tug his hair to be able to look him in the eye. “Neither are you. And these things that happened… that you were made to do, do not make you weak, Fenris.”  
Fenris snorted, leaned his head back down. “What do they make me then, Hawke?”  
She resumed stroking his hair. “A survivor.”  
They stayed like that, Hawke looking into the fire and him watching her, until she bid him goodbye with a look and left.  
As Hawke left his mansion her thoughts circled Fenris and her father. That night as she slept, Hawke visited the fade.

She woke in chains, the pounding in her head making it hard to focus let alone call on her magic. What was the last thing that happened? The farmer was being attacked by a bear, James killed it.   
Hadriana “What should we do with her?”  
James “Make an example out of her, of course. We can't have slaves disobeying their master’s, can we?”  
Hadriana “Of course not, Magister.”  
Hawke groaned, her head was pounding. 'What? No that's not right, is it?'  
Hadriana cruelly smirked and sauntered over to the bound up fifteen year old version of Hawke, taking her chin in hand and forcing her to look at her. “Tsk-Tsk. Someone’s  
been a bad girl.” She turned to James. “May I? I've been wanting to do this for so long.”  
James smiled “Of course, just leave some for me.”  
Hadriana chuckled “Wouldn't dream of doing anything less.”   
She signaled and two elves to take Hawke away. Hawke tried struggling, but the wound to her head had her seeing double, so she wound up hitting air… when she could get her muscles to cooperate enough to move as she wished. Within minutes she was shackled to a pole, her clothes taken from her. 

Hawke’s breaths came in quick succession. 'No! This isn't what happened! Why did they take my clothes? This isn't how it happened, please tell me, this isn't how it happened!' That was when the first strike hit her, only this was a lash of magic. It was a lash of pure energy, electricity coursed through her body, every muscle went rigid. The lash after that was fire, then ice. They went through every school of magic, until James administered the last… blood magic. 

 

Hawke woke, drenched in sweat, with Orana, Bodahn, Sandal and Wolf looking at her worriedly.   
Bodahn wringing his hands. “Mistress…”  
Hawke swallowed, tears streaking her cheeks, and her voice so raspy and throat raw as if she had be screaming for some time. “Please, don't ever call me that again.”  
Bodahn “Shall… shall I send for messarre Anders?”  
Hawke’s eyes widened “No!” she winced at the pain in her throat. “How… how long?”  
Aveline cleared her throat. “Long enough.”  
Hawke buried her face in her pillow. 'Aveline is here? Maker! She’s not going to let it go and accept I don't want to talk about it as an answer.'  
Aveline looked at the staff. “Leave us.”  
Everyone, save Wolf, left the room and Aveline shut the door. “Hawke, are you okay?”  
Hawke pulled the pillow down. “I'm fine, Aveline.”  
Aveline raised an eyebrow at Hawke. “Yes I can tell, by the hour and half of screaming.”  
Hawke grimaced. 'At least after the sound ward failed. Wait, why is Bodahn…' “Aveline, what happened to Bodahn?”  
Aveline sighed. “You did. He said he tried to wake you and…”  
Hawke sighed, and carded her hands through her hair and curling in on herself. “Makers breath! He's lucky I didn't kill him!”  
Aveline gave her the look, the one that made criminals quake in their boots and guards respect her. “Hawke what happened?”  
Hawke looked to the fire, hoping it would warm her emotions… why did she feel so cold, so detached. “Mother… it was about Mother.” Perhaps she should feel guilty about using her mother like this, but right now she didn't feel much of anything.

Aveline sighed “Oh, Hawke.”  
Hawke “Was I really screaming for an hour and half?”  
Aveline sighed “Maybe, I recognized the wards.”  
Hawke “Yeah, they tend to do that when burned out.”  
Aveline “Hawke, what about her?”  
Hawke “Avie, I don't want to talk about it.”  
Aveline “Well tough. When your servants wake me at three in the bloody morning because you’re screaming and they can't get you to wake… you're going to talk about it.”  
Hawke sighed “Aveline, please.”  
Aveline “No. If you don't want to talk to me fine, but you will talk to someone.”  
Hawke nodded “Okay, fine.”  
Aveline “Who?”  
Hawke frowned “Why does it matter?”  
Aveline “Because I need to make sure you talked.”  
Hawke sighed “Fenris.”  
Aveline “Fine. At least I'll know if either of you are lying about talking... he's painfully easy to read, when it comes to you. Try and get some rest, peaceful rest.”  
Hawke shook her head. “Not going to happen…” 'Unless… papa's cream. Fenris… hopefully, he won't mind.' “I'll try. I'm sorry.”  
Aveline shook her head. “It's okay, I'm just glad you're alright.” Aveline left and  
Hawke went to speak with her staff.

They were in the study.   
Hawke reached out and touched Bodahn's abused cheek. “Oh, Bodahn, I'm so sorry.”  
Bodahn “It's alright, my lady, you didn't mean to.”  
Hawke went to her desk and pulled out a potion. “Here, this will take care of that.” She didn't think she should use magic when she was in such a state, didn't think should could stomach it right now either.  
Bodahn drank the potion and handed the vial back to her. “Thank you.”  
Hawke smirked solemnly. “Now, since this happened I want to make a few rules… in case this ever happens again. Never touch me when I’m like that… I don't know what I might do, and I don't want to hurt you. And please, next time, get Fenris… instead of Aveline.”

Bodahn “Well, I wasn’t sure if that was the best choice, given what happened…”  
Hawke smiled softly “I… thank you. Fenris… he didn't mean to hurt me, and he hurt himself too. I’m not upset that you got Aveline, she would be my second choice, but next time get Fenris instead.”   
Bodahn “I rather hope there isn't a next time.”  
Hawke nodded “You and me both, but he is the… most equipped to handle me in that situation.” 'And by handle, I mean kill if something happened.' She frowned deeply, and her voice cracked. “I'm am sorry I hurt you, Bodahn. So, so sorry.”  
Sandal “You knew, didn't hurt… saw.”  
Hawke “Why don't you all head back to bed, and take the day off, you've earned it. I'll… be doing the same.”  
After they were all off to bed, Hawke got armed and armored. Packed up some food and good booze, and headed to Fenris'. Hopefully he wouldn't be to upset about the hour… or the request. She had felt cold, emotionally, since she woke from the dream. Unfortunately, the walk did nothing to warm her.  
Fenris opened the door quickly after her knocking.   
Fenris wore an alarmed and confused expression. “Hawke?”  
Hawke, her voice still raw and horse. “I had a bad trip… to the fade. May I come in?”  
Fenris nodded and walked with her to his chambers.   
Hawke chuckled sadly. “I'm supposed to talk to you about it… Aveline's orders.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed “Aveline's?”  
Hawke sighed “I burned out my sound ward and punched my manservant.”  
Fenris gaped “You… what?”  
Hawke sighed and sank to the floor. “I could have killed him, Fenris! He tried waking me… and that's a bad decision, even when it's a normal bad… trip.”  
Fenris sat next to her. “What happened?”

Hawke regaled him with the details… in a frighteningly cold detachment. When it was done she looked into his eyes, she saw the sorrow, pain and understanding. That look, on his face, is what broke the dam. The emotion flooded back, violently, and she grabbed his thread-bare tunic and fell into his chest. His arm wrapped around her, as she cried and her body was wracked with violent shudders. Fenris felt horrible about what she went through but he was glad he could, that she would still allow him to, be here for her.


	25. Chapter 25

Fenris rubbed her back, and murmured soothing words to her in Tevene. Her violent sobbing ebbed, turning into silent tears and occasional hiccupping. When she pulled away her eyes were bloodshot, her face red and blotchy with a runny nose….and yet… Fenris could not recall any other person who was more beautiful than she was right now. Her eyes held that knowing look, and she had a slight smile, before she tucked herself back into his chest.  
Fenris loosely put his arm around her. 'Is this my fault? Did I cause this by taking her to face Hadriana, by bringing her here… by-' Fenris' line of thought was interrupted by Hawke lightly, for her, smacking him in the chest. “Stop it.”  
“Stop what.”  
Hawke looked him in the eyes. “Blaming yourself. You always do that, why?”  
Fenris looked away. “I don't know what you mean.”  
She raised an eyebrow. “Fenris, I know what you thought when Orana said that they killed the slaves to get ready for us.”  
He shifted uncomfortably. “Hawke.”  
“I'm not going to make you talk if you don't want too-"  
“What am I supposed to say, Hawke? That sometimes I can still feel him, on me… in me? That there are days when I have a hard time… pulling myself from my memories, that there are days when it feels like I'm still there… like I never left?”  
Hawke sighed. “I didn't mean… it's just, I want to help you… share the burden with you.”  
“You have enough on your shoulders.”  
“Considerably less than I used to, because of you. Talking to you about James, helped me more than I ever thought it could. I want to help you Fenris.”  
“What you described was not uncommon among Danarius' slaves.”  
“What about you?”  
“Blood, his preferred method is blood. He didn't like leaving visible marks on his property, to diminish the value. He enjoyed the pain, creating it, witnessing it… just before he would, use me. Then he would use blood magic to heal me… it is a painful way to be healed. There were some nights when he would rip at the lyrium… a pain rivaled only by the ritual in which I received them.”  
“Sadistic bastard.”  
“I thought he cared for me. He told me I was a good boy, I was his favorite. I was treated differently, I was given more food and water, I had a private room. Some days, when I was good, when I didn't fight and screamed extra loud… I would be given food that was prepared for them. I didn't even stop thinking that when I was left behind on Seheron.”  
“What changed your mind?”  
Fenris grabbed her hand, trying to tell himself that this was real. “When he ordered me to kill them. They saved my life, fought for me, and the joy he had in his face as I killed them. The smile for the disquiet in me once they were dead… I realized the only thing he cares for is pain.”  
Hawke wrapped her arm around him.   
Fenris' eyes burn with the effort to hold back the tears. “I'm terrified that I'll wake up back there, that this was all a dream.”  
Hawke gripped him, stared into his eyes. “This is real, I am real. And that sadist will have to get through me, and everyone else, to get to you. I will drag him into the void myself, if I have to.”  
The fire in her eyes told him how serious she was, that only terrified him further. “Don't! Do not sacrifice yourself for me!”  
Hawke gave him a soft smile. “I won't have to. Maker, Fenris, we have the most skilled people in Kirkwall willing and able to go to bat for you. You're not alone, and you never will be if I have anything to say about it."  
Fenris dropped his head to her shoulder, and in a voice scarce above a whisper. “But, what if I turn on them too?”  
Hawke knew he hadn’t meant for her to hear that, so she chose not to comment on it. “Fenris, I brought that cream, how about we both use it and 'sleep like the stone'?”  
Fenris nodded.   
“I'm sorry, that I brought this up again for you.”  
“It's always there, Hawke. It's just, easier to ignore when I'm mobile… doing something.”  
“Fenris, do you feel like that when we're out?”  
“At times.”  
“Is there anything I can do to help?”  
Fenris chuckled “Hawke, you help just by being there. I find it hard to reconcile that I could have conjured you.”  
Hawke chuckled “I'm not that strange, am I?”  
Fenris smirked “Exponentially, but that is a good thing.”  
Hawke smiled and dug the cream out of her bag. She went into a separate room and changed into the sleep clothes she kept in her bag for jobs that took them overnight.   
Fenris stared at the jar of cream, trying to calm himself, the prospect of touching her bared back suddenly seeming more intimate. She came in with a haunted expression on her face. And it slammed everything back into perspective, she was here for this because of a horrible dream… one he was much too accustomed to, not because of anything else.  
Hawke sat down in front of him. “I'm sorry.”  
Fenris cocked his head. “Why?”  
A tear made it's way down her cheek. “I'm all broken up about a dream, a dream that can't even compare-”  
Fenris had his hand over her mouth. “This isn't a contest.”  
Hawke pulled his hand away. “I know. I just… I don't understand how people can do this. How the harm or degradation of a fellow person can be seen as anything more than an atrocity.”  
Fenris smiled softly “That is one of the very strange things I enjoy about you.”  
Hawke wiped her eyes. “I'm sorry, that was…"  
He shrugged “It gets stuck sometimes… like spider inchor.”  
Hawke chuckled. “Yes. I suppose so. So, do you want to go first?”  
“Sure.” He turned his back on her and removed his shirt. Her fingers danced up and down his back as the cream was slowly absorbed. He counted the tiles on the floor to keep his mind from memories too dangerous to allow himself around her, lest he say something he shouldn't… do something he can't. Fenris put his shirt on before turning back to face her.   
By the time he turned to face her she had opened the bottle of whiskey she brought. “Want some?”  
He grabbed the bottle and took a swig, then set it down out of her reach. “Turn.”  
Hawke’s smile faltered, but she offered no resistance. As soon as her back was to him she removed her shirt, he noticed she was bare of her breast-band, a sight shake in her frame. It brought back memories, all too clear, of the last time she removed her top before him… well, he removed her shirt. Fenris shook his head violently. “Venhedis.”  
“Fenris?”  
Fenris put his hand on her shoulder to prevent her turning around. “It's fine.”  
“Fenris?”  
“Yes, Hawke?”  
“Are you going to put the cream on now?”  
Fenris face flushed, and he was immensely pleased she wasn't facing him and couldn't see. “Yes, yes.”  
She leaned against the bench as his hands skillfully eased tension, worked out kinks and knots. “I had no idea how tense you would be.”  
Hawke chuckled, then groaned in relief as he worked out a particularly tough knot. “Are you really that surprised?”  
“Hmm. I suppose I shouldn't be.”  
Hawke sighed. “Maker, maybe it would be better to just do it.”  
“Do what?”  
“Just go, get on all fours and stay that way… forever. Carver once asked me, well yelled at me really, that if I liked the wolves so much that I should just go live with them. He was mad, it was just after father and my disappearance into the woods.”  
Fenris tried to ignore the feeling if her skin, and the noises she was making. “That sound, when we were in the slaver den, how did you do it?”  
“I can mimic any animal sounds that I hear. I still can't change into anything but a wolf though. I used to make sounds with my magic to mess with Carver.” Chuckling  
“The first time, I mimicked the sound of a bear, Carver was playing and then he hears this noise… from right beside him, naturally. He freaked out, ran home squealing like a little girl….”  
“Did you often torment your brother?”  
“It wasn't, he was just the same, we both picked on the other… relentlessly. I did that as pay back for him throwing me and Beth's dolly's on the roof. But, no matter what, if anyone did anything to one of us, said anything about one of us... we'd be the cavalry ready to defend each other. We fought like cats and dogs, picked on each other, but we were always there for each other when we needed it… until I failed.” She shook her head. “It's a normal sibling thing.”  
“I wouldn't know.”  
“Oh, I picture you as a very protective brother.”  
“You have nothing to go by.”  
Chuckling “I have you to go by. Yes, protective older brother… that's you.”  
“Hawke, I could well be the younger.”  
“Nah, you're a protective older brother who beat up anyone who picked on his sister.”  
His voice became unintentionally harsh. “Must we continue this?”  
Plaintive “No.”  
“I'm sorry.”  
“It's fine, Fenris. Did you know I almost killed Carver, once?”  
“Why did you do that, an accident?”  
“Yes and no. It was a month after James, I was having a bad dream… a nightmare. Carver heard my whimpering and tried to wake me, I threw him across the room with such force that he had several broken bones… if father and I hadn't been such skilled healers, he would have died.”  
“I knew it was best to not try and wake you that night.”  
“I've had a few years to temper my reactions.”  
“I've had a few years as well, but my reactions aren’t tempered."  
“You've had years on the run, where letting your guard down is deadly. I had none but my family to wake me.”  
“Hmm. I suppose that true. Do you dream of him often?”  
Hawke froze, and chuckled shakily. “Less so since I've met you.”  
Fenris’ hand stopped moving. “Pardon?”  
Hawke turned slightly to face him. “I can't really explain why, but knowing you, talking to you about it has lessened the dreams of that time.”  
Fenris breath shuddered as his eyes skimmed down her chest. “I have… had a similar effect.”  
Hawke smiled, and he used his hand to turn her more fully. Before the thought registered his mouth was on hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he lowered her to the floor. Their tongues danced together. When her hands twined into his hair, he froze, realizing what they were doing.   
Fenris pulled away from her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Venhedis.”  
Hawke grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head.  
At the same moment the both said. “I'm sorry.”  
Fenris sighed “I-I can't…”  
Hawke smiled softly and put her hand on his shoulder. “I know, I didn't mean to…”  
Fenris chuckled “Nor did I.”  
Hawke looked away. “Would you like me to leave?”  
Fenris grabbed her hand. “No.”  
She smiled and laid down on the floor close enough to the fire to feel it's heat, and he laid parallel to her… with a foot of distance between them. “It's not always going to be easy, but I think this, and you, are worth it.”   
Hawke rolled onto her side to face him, and he nodded in agreement. Hawke reached for his hand, which he readily granted her, and she wrapped both of her small hands around his larger one.   
“Fenris?”  
“Mmm?”  
“Will you help me find Gascard tomorrow?”  
“Yes.”  
The cream acted swiftly then, and they both fell asleep quickly.


	26. Chapter 26

Fenris awoke with his back on the stone floor, the sun in his eyes and a sleeping Hawke clutching his hand like a life line. He studied her sleeping form. Hawke was on her side facing him, untroubled in sleep, her face lax and peaceful. Her hair was unbound and spread around her like a hood.   
'Or a halo. I wish she didn't have such accuracy about some things. This is hard, everyday, though I can't fathom why she thinks me worth it. What am I worth? Will I ever be able to be with her without this, this fear? She is beautiful, strong, a leader, deadly, compassionate and kind. How could I possibly be worthy of her? I'm an ex-elven slave…'  
Hawke face contorted, her body stiffened, and she released a whimpering noise.   
Fenris squeezed her hands. “Shh. Tala, you are safe, I'm here.”   
Fenris' eyes widened as she immediately relaxed, the pinched face disappeared and her taut muscles released. She gave a content sigh and a small soft smile. 'Strange. How could my voice have such an effect?'

Fenris went back to studying. Her thick brows, not tiny and dainty: plucked to be 'ladylike'. They were thick and full, but no less feminine, and he appreciated the fact that she didn't manicure them into tiny lines like nobles were want to do. Her long thick lashes leaving dark crescents on her cheeks. Her small pert nose resting above plump pink lips, delicate cheekbones giving way to a strong jaw. Her elegant neck dipping into slim shoulders. Her body was small, and lankier than the average human, but thicker than an elf. As she was, small and unarmed, most probably wouldn't believe this to be the same woman to stare down the Arishok without blinking or constantly running headlong into danger. The woman who constantly places herself in danger, when she no longer has to too feed her family. The woman who helps simply because she can, because she wants to.

Fenris takes in a deep breath, and his nose fills with her scent, she smells of trees and fur, of animals and wilderness. The smell is strong, and reminds him of the day a couple of Orlesian's tried to figure out what type of perfume she wore.

 

Hawke and Fenris walked the market stalls while waiting for Varric to get out of the Guild meeting. Two women in strange masks walked by, then came to an abrupt stop.  
Green mask “Madame, what scent are you wearing?”  
Hawke “Scent?”  
Blue mask “Yes… You know, your perfume.”  
Hawke “Nothing.”  
Green mask “Oh! Is that a new scent?”  
Blue mask “I've never heard of it.”  
Green mask “You must tell me where you got it, immediately!”  
Hawke smirked, her accent thickening, and gave a mock bow. “Why of coarse, my lady. I got it free, courtesy of my Ferelden heritage.”  
Blue mask gasps, looking affronted. “A Ferelden turnip?”  
Green mask grabs Blue mask and pulls her away.  
Hawke huffed. “Pompous Orlesians.”  
Fenris chuckled “You lied to them.”  
Hawke turned to him with a gleam in her eyes. “Oh, how so?”  
“Your scent is unique, not something one gets by being born Ferelden.”  
Hawke smiled “Oh, but did you see how scandalized they were? Not liking Orlesians is definitely thanks to a Ferelden heritage.”  
Fenris smirked. “Hmm… out of curiosity, why don't you wear any scent oils?”  
Hawke shrugged “They smell bad?”  
“Hawke.”  
“They are overwhelming to my senses, and they make me feel blind. Why, is this your way of telling me I stink?”  
“No!.. No, I simply wished to know. I… am pleased you don't wear scent oils.”  
Hawke “Oh?”   
Fenris had a small blush making it's way to his cheeks, as he looked away from her. “Yes, I find them overpowering, and your scent is too wonderful to be covered up in such a obnoxious way.”  
She wore a radiant smile the rest of the day.

 

Fenris heard the pitter-patter of rain drops begin to fall. Hawke sniffed several times before her eyes fluttered open.  
Hawke “It's raining.”  
Fenris smirked “I had noticed.”  
Hawke pouted and sighed. “I guess we can't look for Gascard today, I'm not going to Darktown when it's raining… eww.”  
Fenris chuckled “It does smell quite repugnant after rainfall. So what shall we do instead?”  
“Stay in and drink?”  
Fenris chuckled “Only if you promise not to start any bar fights.”  
Hawke sighed. “Did you know the first thing I did when I got back was go to see Gamlen? He told me it was my fault and to get lost. So I decided to get a drink, but when Isabela and Merrill walked buy, I realized I wasn't in the mood to see anyone.”  
“I understand. You just frightened me.”  
“Sorry, I know, I can be a handful.”  
Fenris chuckled “Yes, particularly how you get into trouble, but that isn't what I meant. You were missing for weeks, and then I find you fighting people who have weapons… with your bare fists.”   
“Everything went empty, and when I feel like that I can't ignore the call.”  
“The call?”   
“Of the wild? Or the wolf? I don't know. All I know it's I have an unquenchable desire to live as a wolf.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed. “That is why you disappeared?”  
Hawke rolled onto her back, sighed at the ceiling. “She was dead, her head stitched onto a patchwork body, I had failed. I saw father, broken and gasping for breath, I saw Carver bloody and beaten, I saw Bethany being lead away by the Templar. All I could think was if I'd been faster, stronger, paid more attention... she’d be alive. I realized that there was no reason to be here… be me… so I gave in to the urge and left.”  
Fenris growled and rolled himself on top of her, propped up on his knees and elbows, his face just inches from hers. His eyes glowed as he gave her the full force of his glare.  
“Fenris?”  
“Don't ever say that again.”  
“What?”  
“That you have no reason to be here. Don't ever say that again.”  
Her eyes fluttered and she swallowed. “Fenris…"  
He growled.“You… you are special, Hawke. None of us, your group, would be where we are without you. No one would be pleased at you leaving. Bah! Words are so inadequate.”  
Hawke looked into his eyes, blazing with green fire, and saw how resolutely he believed it. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, and leaned up to press her lips to his. Fenris placed a hand under her head, this wasn't a thing of heat or fire, but an affirmation and a promise. When she leaned back down her released her, and her eyes glistened suspiciously, but there was a happiness in her face her eyes crinkling with it.   
“Alright.”  
Fenris sighed in relief and rolled off her, lying next to her side again.   
"So where shall we do our drinking?"  
"Here."  
Tala pouted. "Why do we never spend time at my place? My study is warm and cozy with lots of books."  
Fenris shifted. "I don't like the statue in there, it reminds me of the old good relics they had in Tevinter."  
Hawke sat up. "What? Why didn't you say something before?"  
"I didn't wish to insult you, or your tastes."  
Hawke chuckled and shook her head. "I don't even know where I got that statue, maybe it was a gift, but I find out creepy. I just didn't care enough before to do anything about it." She got up on her knees and clapped her hands. "You just figured out the perfect activity for us today!"  
"Redecorating?"  
Chuckling. "No, destroying that statue."  
Fenris sat up and cocked an eyebrow at her. "You want to destroy it?"  
"Yeah, it will be cathartic. Besides, maybe with it gone we can start having some reading lessons at my place. What's do you say?"  
"Does this mean we won't be drinking?"  
"No."  
"Should I be worried about your drinking?"  
"Not yet."  
Fenris chuckled. "So when should I start worrying?"  
"Well, if I'm still drinking heavily this time next year, maybe then would be a good time."  
"Good to know."  
"So, are we going to my place?"  
"As you wish."

After getting dressed they made their way to her estate. On the way they overheard some noble women talking.  
Red dress gasps. "That Hawke girl spent the night with that strange elf, scandalous!"  
Green dress. "Leandra must be rolling in her grave."  
Hawke made fist, scowling, intent on giving then a piece of her mind.   
Fenris grabbed her hand and squeezed. "I know you're upset, but they aren't even worth it."  
The words drained all her anger at them. "You're right, let's go."

Once inside the estate, the servants nowhere to be found, they headed into the study. Hawke drew mana to her palms, reached out with telekinetic magic and tore the statue from its place above the fireplace. It hit the for with a loud crash, Fenris covered his ears.  
Fenris scowled at Hawke. "You could have given me forewarning."  
Hawke shrugged, as Orana came running in.   
Orana gasped, her hands covering her mouth. "Oh, Mis... Hawke, I'm so sorry! I was cleaning earlier and I must have done something..."  
Hawke waved her hand. "Orana, stop. A. Thank you, for calling me Hawke. B. I did this, not you."  
Orana blinked. "Oh. Do you need some help getting it back up there? I'm afraid I won't do much good, but I could try."  
Hawke chuckled. "No, no. I did this on purpose."  
"Why?" Orana looked horrified, but before she could apologize for questioning, Hawke spoke.   
"Oh, well, Fenris doesn't like it. And frankly I find it creepy, so best to just be rid of it. Orana, why don't you go ahead and get a cup of tea, take a break. You had a good scare."  
Orana gave a curtsy and retreated to the kitchen. Hawke sighed. "I should have guessed she was still here, she still hadn't made it any father outside than my courtyard. Didn't mean to frighten the poor thing."  
"I imagine she is frightened by much right now."  
Hawke sighed. "Everything, I wish I knew how to help her..."  
Fenris put a hand on her shoulder. "Just give her time, be yourself."  
"Be myself?"  
"She will know when you are being disingenuous. Though it will take time for her to get used to you."  
Hawke threw her hands in the air. "But that's means do nothing... I'm not good at doing nothing."  
Fenris chuckled. "So practice."  
Hawke stuck her tongue out at him. "Come on, the wine cellar is this way."


	27. Chapter 27

They head down to the cellar and Fenris stopped, cocked his head at the cracked door. "What's in there?"  
Hawke turned around. "Oh, that's... why don't you come in and see."  
Hawke opens the door into her secret room in the basement.   
Fenris looks around the room, examining the runeing on the walls and the stone mannequins. “So what is this place?”

Hawke smiled, leaning on one stone mannequin. “A training room I set up to exercise my magic. Sandal did the runes, it keeps the magic contained to this room and hides the presence of it as well. I needed a place to use it, without having to worry about anyone catching me.”  
Fenris chuckled “It’s impressive.” His eyes catch sight of a pool of dried blood, bending down to get a closer look. “What happened here?”

Hawke gave a cursory glance, perusing the old grimoire's on her shelf, remembering the accident the last time she was here. She had been using a new spell that made a piece of stone blew off a dummy lodging in her abdomen. After removing the shard and fixing herself up she needed a rest, and forgot about it. 

“I’ve gotten the old magic books at the Emporium and was just doing a little experimenting with magic.”   
Her eyes widened when she heard the words, and she realized the way it sounded, especially to Fenris.   
Fenris looks at her, brow furrowed with concerned eyes. “This is a lot of blood, Hawke, was it a serious injury?”  
Her mouth dropped open, her eyes widened and she just stared.   
Fenris stood, eyes shifting from concern to worry, placed his hands on her shoulders. “Hawke, are you okay? What's wrong?”  
She blinked a few times. “You… the way I said that… why didn't you…”  
Fenris tilted his head, unsure what she was trying to say. “Why didn't I what? Hawke, did you injure your head?”  
“What? No. Think of the way I said that… why didn't you automatically think I was using blood magic?”  
Fenris frowned, then thought on her words. “Oh. I suppose that… I trust you.”  
She blinked her glistening eyes, voice wavering suspiciously. “Fenris…”  
Fenris jerked back, unsure what he had said too upset her. “I'm sorry, Hawke, please don't cry.”  
She chuckled, tears spilling over and a bright smile lighting up her face. “Fenris, you said… what you said made me very happy.” She wrapped her arms around him, heedless of his spiky armor, and burying her head in his neck. She pulled back and wiped her eyes.  
“I don't understand. Why cry if you're happy?”  
She smiled softly. “Fenris, sometimes something can make you so happy that you have to release it or you'll burst.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed. “Why did that statement make you so happy?”  
Hawke blushed. “It means a lot to me, to know you trust me that much… to know that you trust me as much as I trust you.”  
Fenris frowned. “How can you possibly trust me so much, Hawke? You know what I did to the Fog Warriors. How could you trust me at all knowing that?”

Hawke frowns. 'How can the bloody idiot not see? He has to know, I need him to know, understand, how much I trust him. I love this Broody elf, but more often than not actions speak louder than words. Maybe if I… no. Well, he's told me that my magic doesn't cause pain, and the book said it was supposed to be painless. I know him, and know him well, I'll look for any signs of discomfort or pain, and at the first sign I'll stop. I… blight it! I can't think of anything else! I… well, I something in me tells me this is the way to go… something deep inside… I hope it's right.'

Hawke backed him against the wall then she grabbed his right hand and began unbuckling the straps of his gauntlet.“Hawke, what are you doing?”  
She stopped to look at him. “I need to show you, Fenris, I need you to understand how I trust you. Can you give me just a little leeway, to show you?”  
Fenris frowned and thought. 'This is important to her, very much so, and she would never do anything to hurt me.' He smiled softly, looked her in the eye. “Yes, Hawke.”

She began working on his gauntlet, letting it fall to the floor and removing the leather covering from his hand leaving it hang from his elbow. She untied the top of her tunic placing his palm flat on her breast, right above her heart. Fenris tilted his head, unsure what she was trying to do. Hawke channeled her magic to settle under her breast, Fenris didn't so much as flinch. She allowed her magic to seek out his makings, her power flowing into him.

Fenris' eyes widen, at the feeling. He's never had anyone do this, didn't even know it was possible, it was an entirely new sensation. When the power had been drawn from him it was always excruciating, but this is pleasant… no pleasant is not the right word: it's incredible… almost as good as that one beautiful night he spent in her arms. 

Hawke sees his eyes widen in surprise, but his face shows no hints of pain. There was no tightening around his eyes or mouth, in fact his pupils were dilating and his cheeks were tinting pink, he looked like he did that night they spent together.

Fenris, unknowingly, moaned and his eyes closed in pleasure. Once his eyes closed he could see her mana, the pool of magic power residing within her, it's blue color shimmering and swirling inside her. He could see where she pushed it to the surface of her skin to flow into his, but what was that sliver of purple color shimmering behind her mana pool? When he began looking at it, his instinct lead him to see around her mana pool, and that purple shimmer was not a sliver but a pool of purple shimmer hidden by her mana. He looked closer and he saw a small line leading from the purple pool to her mana, but there was a block something that kept it from being brought to the surface like her mana. This purple mana was stronger than the blue is and it felt ancient. Hawke had this old and incredibly powerful pool of magic inside her, perhaps it should worry him… and a year ago it would have, but right now all he could do was stare at it in awe. Fenris focused more closely on the blockage noticing that it seemed to have cracks, like there were times the purple had pushed through into the line to the blue.

Hawke could see that he wasn't in pain, he seemed to be enjoying himself, so she moved on to the next faze. She let a breath out as his makings activated, then stepped forward passing his hand through her skin.  
Fenris felt his hand phase through the skin of Hawke’s chest. “No!” He tried to pull his hand back his elbow hit the wall that he was backed against.  
Hawke let out a small gasp as his hand passed through her flesh, not one of pain, but she pressed closer until his hand was completely inside her chest. She had expected pain, and from the times she was witness to it, quite a lot of pain. This was… it felt nice, quite strange, but nice.  
Fenris' heart stopped when his palm touched hers. Instinctively he curled his hands around her heart, terrified, confused and curious all the same. Hawke’s heart didn't flutter or pound like the pitiful hearts he's held before, but he's never held a heart like hers before… no one has. Fenris swallows and looks at her face, certain to find the pained terrified looks he's seen on dozens of faces before, but what he sees instead is a soft smile. 'She trusts me this much?' "How?"  
She lets his hand slip from her chest, letting her magic rest. "How can you? You can be incredibly dangerous, but you're a good person and you'd never do anything to hurt me."  
Fenris flexed his hands, his mind drifting to her face that night when he left. "Never?"  
Tala smiled and put her hands on his face. "Yes it hurt, but it would have been much worse if you stayed. We couldn't see it then, but it wasn't the right time, neither of us was ready. It sucks that things didn't work out, but I'd much rather have you as just my friend than not have you in my life at all."  
Fenris closed his eyes, leaning into her hands, holding them to his face with his own. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his.  
Hawke's the one who eventually breaks the silence, with a small kiss to his nose. "Come on, the wine cellar is this way."

She grabbed his hand and lead him out of the training room. They headed into the cellar, each picking out a few different bottles of wine.   
They went back to the study, Hawke pulled out a box of tools: for tearing apart the statue.   
"Want to drink before we start on the statue?"  
Fenris chuckled. "Sounds good."


	28. Chapter 28

Around lunchtime the two of them were lying on the floor among scattered pieces of the statue, Orana brought in a tray of food.  
The tray was full of food, cold meats, potatoes and hard cheeses. "Oh, Orana, that smells wonderful."  
"I thought you two might be hungry, I hope this is adequate, Miss Hawke ."  
Hawke eyed the food. "Orana, I don't think Fenris and I can eat this all on our own. I know! Why don't you join us?"  
Orana's eyes widened. "Oh, no. Mistress, I couldn't."  
Hawke shook her head. "I'm not your mistress, Orana." She patted the ground beside her. "Come on, we'd be honored if you joined us, isn't that right Fenris?"  
Fenris nodded. "We would indeed."  
Orana stuttered a step, and then slowly walked over and sat down with her legs folded under her. She sat the tray down in front of her, cautiously picking up a piece of cheese and put it in her mouth chewing slowly. She began to feel more comfortable as Hawke and Fenris started eating as well.Hawke made a joke, Fenris chuckling, and Orana snickered behind her hand. Hawke smiled, raised an eyebrow and repeated the joke... and then again. Until Orana burst into gut-wrenching laughter. Fenris and Hawke looked at each other, and then started peeling off every joke they could think of until Orana was doubled over in laughter. Once she calmed down, Hawke saw the apology brimming behind her eyes, Hawke quickly put her hand over her mouth.  
"No. Don't apologize for enjoying yourself, it makes me happy to see you happy." Hawke removed her hand, smiling encouragingly at her.Orana nodded, a slight smile herself.  
"Yes, Miss Hawke. I think I should get back to my duties."  
Hawke shrugged. "If you want to. But don't bother with the statue pieces, it's my mess... our mess. We'll take care of it."  
Orana smiled and nodded, leaving the room tray in hand.

Orana placed the tray on the counter, smiling to get self. 'She's so nice... but is it safe to trust her?' She went about cleaning while mulling that question over as she did.

Fenris smiled at Hawke. "I told you."  
"What?"  
"To be yourself. Do you think any slave would have sat and ate with her Mistress, would have laughed with her? You are a wonder."  
"I'm not her Mistress, and she's not a slave anymore. You act like I'm doing something special, but, I'm just doing what anyone would."  
Fenris scoffs. "Hawke, if that were true-"  
Hawke put her hand up, and pouted. "Don't kill my buzz, it's mean."  
Fenris chuckled. "My apologies."  
"You're forgiven."  
They pass the hours by chatting and reading lessons, until they're too drunk to focus, and it's late into the night when they're lying among the scattered pieces of statue. Hawke had one leg propped up on her knee, swinging it in the air.  
Fenris watched her leg away back and forth, entranced by the long scar from the bottom of her foot up along to the top of her ankle.  
Fenris pointed to the scar. "What's that from?"  
Hawke looked at her foot and chuckled. "It's umm... I fell out of a tree... because I thought I could fly."  
Fenris frowned. "You're joking."  
Hawke chuckled. "No, to be fair I was three."  
Fenris attempted to stifle his laughter, and failed miserably. Hawke smiled, she loved his laugh and he used it so little, so if he wanted to laugh at her childhood mistake that was alright by her. After his laughter died down, he found himself curious. "Why did you think you could fly?"

Her smile faltered, and she sighed. "I guess it's time I told you."  
Fenris tilted his head, curious at her change in demeanor. "I told you that my father made that cream to help us kids with nightmares, but I never needed it when I was little. He only used it on Bethany, and Carver a few times, I never had nightmares as a child."  
Fenris furrowed his brow. "You didn't, but you're a mage."  
Hawke chuckled. "I know it sounds weird. But, do you remember Feynriel?"  
"Of course."  
"Well, it's the best comparison I can think of. Being a sensitive I can go into the fade fully aware -awake- without the aid of lyrium. Although, unlike Feynriel, I can't go into others dreams or shape the fade. For as long as I can remember I've been aware in my dreams. I spent countless nights conversing and adventuring with spirits."  
Fenris frowned. "Spirits?"  
Hawke sat up and looked him dead in the eyes. "Not demons, never demons, I never even encountered a demon until... well, what happened with James. They were just spirits, like Justice used to be, ones of Wisdom, Joy, and Compassion... to name a few."  
"Spirits."  
Hawke smiled. "I'm sure that they're not spoken of in Tevinter, jeez in fact, they're probably responsible for many of the demons around these days. Anders says that demons are the wish to join the mortal world gone wrong, but he's wrong. Every demon that exists was once a spirit, they were corrupted: either by the emotions of mortals or by being denied their purpose."  
"How is it you know this?"  
Hawke blinked. "I asked them, and I've seen it a few times. It's what makes me so angry with Anders, he turned a spirit like Justice into a demon of vengeance... even if they both refuse to admit it. I think it's just too much of a reminder of what I did."  
"What do you mean?"  
"There was one spirit that had been with me since I was a babe, compassion, she -or rather it- was my favorite playmate in the fade. She always knew just what I was in the mood for be it tag or watching other spirits reenact scenes from history. The others I normally spent time with ran away, for their safety, when I was in that barn. But not compassion, it would have been against her nature to leave me in such a time if need, all of my negative emotions... they turned her into a demon. My friend of compassion is now a demon of desire, and it's my fault."  
"It's not, Hawke..."  
She chuckled sadly. "You are so weird, how is it not my fault?"  
"You didn't do it on purpose. In fact, if anyone bears the responsibility, that bastard is to blame."  
She looked at him. "James? You think he's responsible?"  
Fenris smiled. "You said it yourself: you never had nightmares or dealt with demons until he put you through that nightmare."  
Hawke opened her mouth and then shut it. She smiled. "I suppose I can't argue with that. Thank you, Fenris."

Fenris asked questions about her adventures in the fade, she told him of them, her favorite one was the battle of Lake Calenhad and she told him how she used to go to see it often. She told him of the crowning of King Calenhad as well, and the memories of Tevinter defeat that played in the fade.

Fenris smiled, Hawke was so happy and animated as she told her stories, he was grateful to see her in such an unguarded and happy manner. Fenris thought after he bungled that night he would never get to spend time with her like this again. "That sounds quite wonderful, Hawke. It's a truly amazing gift you have."  
Hawke stopped and stared. "Ander would die of shock to hear you say that."  
Fenris scowled playfully. "I said your gift was wonderful, not his inane self-imposed curse."  
Hawke starts laughing. "Maker what a good description! Do you think you and Anders would have gotten along if he wasn't possessed?"  
Fenris thought carefully. "Perhaps, we may have even been friends."  
Hawke's eyebrows shot into her hairline. "Friends? You and Anders?"  
Fenris smirked. "From what I understand before he was possessed he wasn't such an insufferable ass. So, yes, there's a chance. There's also a chance I still would have disliked him, especially given his interest in you."  
Hawke shook her head. "I don't even like him that way Fenris."  
Fenris grimaced. "You liked him 'that way' enough to invite him into your bed."  
Hawke gasped and Fenris winced. "Technically he invited himself..."  
"I'm sorry, that was out of line. I never should have-"  
Hawke put her hand up. "It's fine Fenris."  
"No, it's not. That was unfair of me."  
"You're jealous and drunk."  
"it doesn't matter, I shouldn't have done that."  
Hawke shook her head. "Actually, maybe it's a good thing you brought it up."  
Fenris' brows furrowed. "How could it be good?"  
Hawke shrugged. "Well, you obviously still hold some resentment and jealousy over that night, this is something we should address."  
Fenris shook his head. "No."  
"Fenris, if we let this fester it will hurt our relationship. I don't want that, do you?"  
Fenris sighed. "No. I am just embarrassed and I don't want you to feel that I don't trust your word."  
"Why would I think you don't trust my word over this?"  
"Because you told me nothing happened and that should be more than enough, I shouldn't still feel this."  
Hawke chuckled. "Did you know that after Bela figured out how we felt for each other... she came to me and said that despite her flirting and interest she wouldn't sleep with you, yet I still get jealous when she flirts with you. Trusting my word isn't going to just magically make the jealousy go away."  
Fenris was turning pink, from both embarrassment and drink, he scratched his neck. "I suppose..."  
"When I made the joke about locking him up, only realizing the way it sounded after your reaction, I got a sense of satisfaction at you getting upset by it. I'm sorry, I was hurting and I think I just wanted to do the same to you." Hawke had her hands in her lap and was staring at them remorsefully. "Maker I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

Fenris moved to take her hands in his. "I understand, Tala, please continue."  
Hawke nodded and, still staring at her hands, she continued. "Isabela was the one to point it out, albeit unintentionally, and after she said something it was all I could think about. Part of me hoped he wouldn't show, and I debated shutting the door, but when he came in..." She grasped his hands. "He... he called you a beast and it upset me, I yelled at him, and at the same time I realized that I... that I love you so I told him I couldn't do it and asked him to leave."  
Fenris froze at her words, he didn't even hear anything she said after 'I love you'.  
Hawke gripped his hands tightly afraid he would bolt. She didn't need him to say it back, but she was scared it would hurt their friendship.  
'She loves me? I guess I've known that for a while now, but to hear her say it. Is this what love feels like? I can't... I can't say it back, not now, not until I'm sure that it's how I feel. She deserves the truth and the truth is I don't know if what I feel for her is love. But, maybe I can tell her how I do feel and it will be enough.'  
Hawke sought his eyes while he was thinking, relieved when she found them and they were calm, not fearful.  
Fenris smiled softly at her. "I am yours."  
Hawke smiled tearfully, happier than she could have imagined those words would have made her.  
Her reaction let Fenris know he indeed said the right thing to her, which made him smile back at her.


	29. Chapter 29

They spent the rest of the day talking, and putting the statue back together incorrectly, making it look absolutely ridiculous. He helped her move it into the courtyard, making it a scarecrow to mock the Tevinter Imperium. Fenris found his was very found of the new statue, and asked if they could stay in the courtyard, now that it was dry and no longer raining. They sat on the stone benches in the middle of her garden and talked as the sky turned black and the stars came out. The stars shining brightly reminded them of the night of her party, and the promised made between them.

Fenris understood now what she meant that night. If he had to kill her for turning to blood magic, it would kill him, but she wouldn't be herself any longer. His Tala Hawke hates demons and blood magic and she would never use such things, but even so, it would absolutely destroy him. "I understand now."  
Hawke smiled softly. "I know." She threaded her fingers through his and rested her head on his shoulder. 

They stayed outside until the chill of the night air became uncomfortable.

When they came inside she pulled him down to the floor with her next to the fire, and curled up next to him, with her head on his chest. They talked until she fell asleep on his chest, and he quickly did the same.

Bodahn and Sandal returned later that night to find them snuggled up and asleep together on the study floor. Bodahn got a blanket and covered them up before tucking Sandal in and going to be himself.

In the morning Hawke invited Fenris to have breakfast with them, which he agreed to, then the two of them headed to Darktown to find Gascard. They get to the spot in Darktown where they found him last time, and surprise him as he's leaving.  
Gascard. "H-Hawke? I... I should thank you for showing me what a monster Quentin was. I... uh, I'm really sorry about your mother."  
Hawke fisted her hands. "It's your fault she's dead! You knew Quentin all along. You could've helped me stop this!"  
Gascard "How was I supposed to know he was going to take your mother?"  
Hawke looked to Fenris. "Fenris, what would you do to him?"  
Gascard looked frightened as a scowling, pissed off, glowing Fenris approached him. Gascard tried backing away, but Fenris didn't let him get far.   
Fenris' fist entered Gascard's chest and he groaned and screamed.  
"That pain you feel is just the beginning, mage. I will make you feel at least twice what you put her through."  
"What do you want from me?"  
Fenris just squeezed harder.  
"Yes, I lied! I knew Quentin from the start. "  
Fenris released him and he fell to the ground clutching his chest, but still alive.  
"It was never about revenge. I never had a sister. The portrait in my house belonged to a woman I... I experimented on, when Quentin refused to teach me necromancy. Killing me isn't going to bring your mother back!"  
Hawke shrugged as a viscous smile grew on her face. "No it won't, but this was never about her. You could have stopped it if you told the truth, but you were a selfish little bastard."  
"You don't know that!"  
Hawke shrugged. "I know that I was never going to let you live."  
She took out her killing blade, already laced with mage bane and ten different toxins to make death exceptionally painful and one to cause paralysis, and gave Gascard a shallow cut across his abdomen. He fell to the ground with a groan and it took two minutes of agonizing pain before he died. The last thing he saw was Hawke looking down on him dispassionately and wondered if this is how the woman he experimented on felt as he worked on her. 

Hawke gave a sovereign to Evelina as they headed back to Hightown, and the Chantry. Hawke wanted to say a prayer to her mother.   
When they walk in Petrice is standing there talking to another sister.   
Hawke. "Hello, Mother Petrice."  
Petrice "Serah Hawke, it is so good to see you. The shame that Varnell brought his order is most unfortunate."  
Fenris walks up next to her for protection.   
Petrice "Praise the Maker that you were His Champion in that dark place."  
Hawke "You knew exactly what was going to happen in there."  
Petrice "Hawke you're standing between the righteous and the heretical. You're not going to make friends."  
Hawke "I'm standing between peace and war, and I'd settle for being able to trust the people I already know."  
Petrice "I gave you what you wanted at considerable cost. Varnell is much more manageable as a martyr, but his loss was still felt. You have avenged heretical Qunari woith human blood, surly that is good enough for you?"   
Hawke "It would be, but I doubt you'll stop, because you're no more satisfied than I am."  
Petrice "Varnell was a fool, but the facts remain: an offence to the Maker goes unchallenged. I will give you no further cause to shame the Chantry today, but we will have this argument again. The Viscount's incompetence all but guarantees it."  
Petrice left up the stairs.

Fenris shook his head. "Sometimes you just know trouble is coming."  
Hawke sighed. "And that trouble is going to involve the Viscount. Come on let's go."  
They return to her estate just as a letter from the Viscount shows up. She reads the letter to Fenris.  
"You're not going alone, not after what happened in the Chantry."  
Hawke smirked at his protectiveness. "Alright, you can coe, I'll just tell the Viscount that you'd find out when you help me with whatever it is any way."  
Wolf nudged Fenris' thigh and gave him a look of approval.  
Fenris looked at him. "A fascinating breed, such intelligence and strength. Do you ever wonder what he thinks about?"  
Tala smirked. "I'm not always sure I want to know."  
"Are you aware that this breed originated in Tevinter? The magisters breed them. It's said the mabari defected during the Imperium's invasion of Ferelden. Merely a tale, but I rather like the idea the they found the barbarians more... palatable than the mages."  
Wolf barked in agreement.  
Fenris smiled "Exactly so. Let's hope your hound doesn't take after his ancestors to strongly, hmm?"


	30. Chapter 30

They make their way to the keep and his office.  
Viscount "It is apparently not enough that the Qunari define my political life. They must also infect what I hold personal. It is my son, Saemus. The life you saved he would now squander by converting to the Qun. He has left for the Qunari compound. Please, Serah Hawke, convince Saemus to come home."  
Hawke "He is of age. The decision seems rightly his."  
Viscount "I want to let him find his way, but in my position... He's taken a great deal of inspiration from you. I want to allow his idealism, but not blindly. At best, my opponents will claim that my office is now in Qunari hands. At worst... I lose my son."  
Hawke shook her head. "You know this will only end in trouble."  
Viscount "Fitting, since that is where it started. My son is not foolish. He will listen to reason. And you are in the best position to offer that opportunity. Please, do what you can."  
Hawke nodded. "I will try."  
The grab Aveline and Varric from her office, then head to the docks. They are ambushed on the way.  
Fenris "So who hired that lot? Anti-Qunari, Anti-Viscount or Saemus himself not wanting to be rescued?"  
Hawke "Saemus isn't the type, let's go."

They make it to the Qunari compound without further incidents.  
As they walk up the steps to talk to the Arishok Fenris speaks. "Well, hope the Arishok hasn't grown attached to the viscount's boy."  
Arishok "Serah Hawke."  
Hawke "I'm here about the viscount's son."  
Arishok "Are you? In two years I have made no threat, and fanatics have lined up to hate us simply because we exists. But despite lies and fear, bas still beg me to let them come to the Qun. They hunger for purpose. The son has made a choice. You will not deny him that."  
Hawke "I'm not here to drag him out, I simply wish to speak to him."  
Arishok "It was his choice to be educated. He is not my prisoner. He is not even here. He went to his father. Ask the viscount why he would send you and a letter both."  
Hawke "That... seems strange."  
Arishok "They are meeting at the Chantry. A last pointless appeal, I assume."  
Fenris shakes his head. "He is strained with the chantry, he would not involve them."  
Hawke clenched her teeth. "No, but we know who would. Mother Petrice." She spits the name like a slur.  
Arishok "A suspect in many things. If she has threatened someone under my command again, there is only one response."  
Hawke "I agree, but I'll be the one to respond. Don't make things worse by marching your soldiers through the city. Not for this."  
Arishok "This is the last insult I will suffer, Hawke. I will be watching. Viddathari are of the Qun. This offense will have an answer."

They leave the compound and get to the stairs when Hawke finally speaks. "Vishante Kaffas!"  
Fenris nearly trips, so surprised by her words.  
Varric chuckles "Common not good enough?"  
Hawke growls "I am going to wring her perfect little neck from here to Ferelden!" She starts a marching pace to the Chantry.  
They arrive at the Chantry just after sunset. They go in to find Saemus kneeling on the podium. Hawke walked over and put her hand on his shoulder only for him to fall over and reveal that he was dead: a slit throat.  
Petrice "Serah Hawke, look at what you have done. To pounce upon the viscounsts son, a repentant convert, in the Chatry itself! A crime with no excuse. Your Qunari masters will finally answer."  
Hawke was shaking with anger and she let off a string of Ferelden and Tevene slurs at Petrice. "Are you mad? Your plans have fallen to outright murder?"  
Petrice "The faithful know this has been building for a long time. Where Varnell incited, I reminded, in sermon and prayer."  
Hawke "You blighted, bull headed, idiot! I don't work for the Qunari or the Chantry I'm trying to help Kirkwall! Because this, what you've done here, won't get the Qunari ousted you'll get a slaughter on both sides!"  
Petrice "To die untested would be the true crime. People need the opportunity to defend faith. Starting with you."  
Fenris unsheathed his sword, and Petrice turned to the group that came in with her. "Earn your rewared in this life and next! These heritics must die!"

They had to fight untrained civilians lead by a Templar, which just made Hawke angrier at Petrice. When the fight was over Petrice was coming down the stairs with the Grand Cleric to a fuming Hawke.  
Varric to a few steps back from Hawke. 'If looks could kill, everyone in the Freemarches would be dead right now, and I'd rather keep Petrice's blood off my coat.'  
Petrice "Do you see, Your Grace? Traitors attacking the very core of the Chantry! They defile with every step!"  
Elthina "There is death in every corner, young mother. It is as you predicted, all too well."  
Hawke feels the anger flow from her when she realizes that Elthina is onto Petrice. She smirks "She's onto you, Petrice. Quick, lie harder."  
Petrice "Don't you spout your Qunari filth. This is a hand of the Divine."  
Elthina "I have ears, Mother Petrice. The Maker would have me use them."  
Hawke "Viscount Dumar's son is dead, killed here in your name."  
Elthina "I'm sure my name won't like that. Petrice?"  
Petrice "Saemus Dumar was a Qunari convert! He came here to repent and was ambushed!"  
Hawke "It's a ruse, Your Grace. Saemus was killed to set people against the Qunari."  
Petrice "This is no longer a matter of heathens squatting in the docks. People are leaving us to join them!"  
Elthina "And we must pray for them, like any other."  
Petrice "They deny the Maker!"  
Elthina "And you diminish Him, even as you claim His side. Andraste did not volunteer for the flame. Serah Hawke, you stand with the Captian of the guard?" Hawke nods. "The young mother has erred in her judgment. A court will decide her fate. The Chantry respects the law, and so must she."  
Petrice "Grand Cleric?"  
Elthina walks away, back up the stairs.  
Petrice "Grand Cleric!" She is the shot through the heart with an arrow, she falls to her knees and takes one to the head.  
Qunari shooter "We protect those of the Qun. We do not abandon our own."  
Elthina "Please, send for Viscount Dumar."

Aveline leaves to go get him.  
Hawke kneels next to Saemus. "Another I couldn't protect, I'm sorry Saemus, rest well at the Makers side."  
Fenris offered her his hand and helped her up. "He is at peace now."  
Hawke smiled wanly, and sees the viscount enter. "It's the ones that are left behind that suffer the most."  
Hawke tells Dumar what happened as he cradles his son's body and cries.  
Viscount "My son. Murdered in the heart of the Chantry, by those who held a sacred trust. What hope for this city when we fail our own so completely?"  
Hawke hated it but said it anyway, this reminded her too much of Carver's death. "This is not over, Excellency, the city needs a strong leader."  
Viscount "It does. I am no longer that person." He cries. "Please, Hawke, leave me."

They leave the Chantry.  
Aveline "This won't exactly ease tensions. The Viscount's son and Qunari aggression, even if it's justified... It won't end. Hawke, I thought this could wait, but... I need to speak to you at your home. Very soon."  
Hawke sighed. "Alright, I'll be there soon."

She grabbed Fenris and they headed to his mansion. They drank a bottle of wine and sat in silence as Hawke dealt with memories that were much to sore to speak of. Fenris escorted her home when the bottle was empty, she invited him in with her tempting him with Orana's cooking. They walk into Aveline and Isabela fighting.

Aveline "This is important don't interrupt with your selfish prattle."  
Isabela "Get off your high horse. I have problems too."   
Hawke looks to Fenris for help, he just leans against the wall and shakes his head.  
Aveline scoffs. "'What drink should I order?' and 'Who's the father?'."  
Isabela "Oh, you little..." She raises her hand to smack Aveline.  
Hawke rushes forward, not wanting a battle in her home. "What's it now you two, and no breaking the furniture, Mother would kill me."  
Aveline steps forward. "Hawke... the Arisok is sheltering two fugitives who've 'converted' to the Qun. He must be convinced to release them. He's already feared because of Petrice. If people start thinking he can ignore the law... I need your help so this doesn't get out of hand."  
Isabela "I'm going to die! There. Got your attention? Real problem."  
Hawke puts her hands up placatingly. "One at a time, what's this about?"  
Isabela "Remember the relic? The one Castilion's going to kill me over? A man called Wall-eyed Sam has it. If you help me get it Castilion won't kill me, please."   
Aveline "I'm trying to keep the entire city from rioting against the Qunari!"  
Isabela looked shifty to Hawke, and she never looks shifty. "Well. maybe it's connected."  
Aveline narrowed her eyes. "What?"  
Isabela was back to her normal nonchalant appearance, which worried Hawke further. "I'm just saying maybe it will help. It's important to someone, right?"  
Aveline rubs her head. "Now you start being responsible? Shit!"  
Hawke took a deep breath and threw the suspicion away to focus on the matter at hand. "Isn't it odd that someone would run to the Qunari?"  
Aveline "They're elves accused of murder. Maybe they feel they've nothing to lose by fleeing the Alienage."  
Hawke "And if their conversion is genuine?"Aveline "I... don't know. But how many more will try if I allow this? Justice must be respected."  
Hawke "You're expecting trouble?"  
Aveline "After what happened to the viscount's son, yes. I'm hoping the Qunari aren't looking for a fight. I'm hoping they'll be reasonable. We'll see."  
Hawke "This seems like an issue for you and your guards, quite a few of them."  
Aveline "Sending a full patrol would just increase tensions. But you're right: I am the captain. It's my responsibility. But... I suspect the viscount was hoping I'd bring this to you."  
Hawke "Then he should have come himself."  
Aveline "Perhaps, but it's understandable that he's not at his best. I'd like to help him if I can."  
Hawke "Why has this come up so suddenly, Isabela?"  
Isabela "Sam's been talking to black market dealers all over Lowtown. It didn't take me long to get wind of it. What frustrates me is that he's held onto the relic so long."  
Hawke "Who is involved in the exchange?"  
Isabela "Tevinter mages. I doubt they'll look kindly on us intruding. Bring a sword, or twelve."  
Hawke smirked and nodded to Fenris. "I got him, much better than twelve swords. So, tell me about Sam."  
Isabela "Sam used to run with Martian. Remember him? Martian says Sam's a bit of a magpie, picking up things that don't belong to him. Not a trustworthy sort. When Martian gave up raiding, Sam became a drifter."  
Hawke "You're sure this is the relic you're after?"  
Isabela "I've had my ear to the ground for a while. There was a description of the book, it's the right one."  
Hawke narrowed her eyes. "Book? I thought you didn't know what the relic was?"Isabela fumbled. "Well, I-I know it's a book. But that's all I know, it's written in a foreign tongue."  
Hawke 'She's lying.'  
Isabela "Honestly, what does it matter? It'll save me from Castillion, so I need it."  
Hawke 'She may be lying, but she's my friend. No she's family, and I'm not losing anymore of that.' Hawke sighed. "The relic issue has to be dealt with before we take on the Qunari."  
Aveline "You trust her that much?"  
Isabela gave a smile. "Probably not. I wouldn't. "  
Aveline "They won't wait at the compound forever, Hawke. I really do hope this helps, because if it doesn't..."  
Isabela "You think I like having this on my mind? Come on. The exchange is happening tonight in a Lowtown foundry."


	31. Chapter 31

Aveline had a date with Donnic and Hawke refused to let her break it.  
So the three of them got Varric from the Hanged Man and headed to the meeting place.  
Hawke gasped and took a step back, backing into Fenris, when she realized where they were.  
Fenris wrapped his arms around her and glared at Isabela. "You did not think to warn her?"  
Isabela turned around, and saw Hawke's very pale face. "What? Oh, shit! I'm sorry, Hawke, I wasn't thinking."  
Fenris glowered at her. "That much is clear."  
Hawke swallowed her fear, and croaked. "It's okay. We're here for a job, let's get to it."

They walked into a Qunari squad waiting outside it building.  
Sten "Hold! You will surrender the relic!"  
Isabela "I don't have your stupid relic."  
Sten "The bas has no honor, kill it."  
After the fight Hawke turns on Isabela. "What are the Qunari doing here?"  
Isabela "Er... yes. About that. The relic belongs to the Qunari, and there's a small chance they want it back."  
Hawke "Do the Qunari seem like the sharing type to you? Of coarse they want it back!"  
Isabela "I've always known what the relic is. I just didn't want to... worry you."  
Varric scowled. "You're the picture of kindness, Rivani."  
Isabela "The relic is a Qunari text handwritten by that philosopher of theirs-Keslan, Cousland... whatever his name is."  
Fenris "Koslun?"  
Isabela smiles "That's the one."  
Fenris shakes his head. "The founder of their religion, the most revered being in their history? That text would be sacred beyond measure."  
Isabela sighed "I stole it from them, they followed me here to reclaim it, and it's why their still in Kirkwall. They can't leave here without it."  
Hawke wanted to scream. "I-I can't believe you would be so selfish!"  
Isabela "What was I supposed to do the blighted thing didn't show up for two years?"Hawke made a fist to keep her from hitting Isabela. "You could have told us, if we knew this we could have found out Sam had it a long time ago."  
Isabela looked to the ground. "Look Sam's in there and I'm not leaving without that book. Will you help me?"  
Hawke blew out a breath. "Isabela, let me make you a counter offer..."  
Isabela tightened up, expecting a punch or a stab.  
Hawke relaxed as she had an idea. "We get the relic and hand it over to the Arishok, then I hunt down and kill Castilion. Please, Isabela. I promise I'll kill him, just, please?"  
Isabela "I... Fine, you're right. I'll return the relic. It'll go straight to the Qunari once we get it."  
Hawke felt relieved, she knew if Isabela pushed she would have given it to her, but now they had a chance at settling things peacefully. "Thank you."  
Isabela "Come on, we've no time to waste."

They walk in on the mages asking about the relic and just then the Qunari burst in, Sam runs and Isabela follows.  
Hawke "Isabela! Kaffas! Varric stay out of sight and time your shots. This is on us Fenris."  
Fenris activated his markings and nodded to her.  
The three of them have to take on Qunari soldiers and Tevinter mages at once. It was hard and bloody, Hawke had to heal all three of them afterward.

They find Sam's body outside, Isabela nowhere in sight and a note on Sam's body.  
Fenris "Once a thief always a thief."

Hawke folded the note and put it in her pocket. 'For what it's worth I'm sorry I lied to you again.' She sighed. "Come on. Aveline will be waiting at the Qunari Compound. We still have to deal with that mess. Everyone go home and get some rest I want the group at the Hanged Man at ten sharp, we have a lot to discuss."  
Varric mock saluted her. "Aye, aye Ma'am!" And left for the Hanged Man.

Once Fenris and Hawke reached Hightown she grabbed and squeezed his hand. "Will you stay with me tonight?"  
Fenris was startled out of rhythm. "What?"  
Hawke looked at the ground. "I-I know it's a lot to ask, but I just don't think I'll sleep well tonight... if-if I'm alone."  
Fenris was thrown off by her unexpected request. "You-you have your dog: Wolf."  
Hawke nodded sadly. "Yeah I do, okay, good night Fenris."  
Fenris shook his head at himself. 'She is only asking that I do what we have done the past two nights, nothing more. I can do this for her, it would make sleeping easier for me as well...' He caught up to her and grabbed her hand. "It's alright, Hawke I'll stay."  
Hawke shook her head. "No, I don't want you to force yourself to do something you're uncomfortable with."  
Fenris smiled. "I'm not uncomfortable with it, in fact I sleep better when i'm next to you. I only hesitated because I hadn't expected it so it threw me. Tala, I would have no problem staying with you tonight, as it is we both need to be at our best incase something happens with the Arishok tomorrow."  
Hawke chuckled. "Alright but do you have clothes you sleep in because, as it turns out, your armor isn't all that comfortable to lay on."  
Fenris turned mauve. "N-no... I don't sleep clothed."  
Hawke bit her lip and smiled. "Is that so?"  
Fenris glowered at her.  
"I have something that I think will fit you."  
Fenris scowled. "I don't wish to wear a nightdress, Hawke."  
Hawke chuckled "As interesting as that would be... Mother had clothes made for all of you, it was going to be your present for this years Wintersend."  
Fenris cocked his head at her. "Your mother got us presents for Wintersend?"  
Hawke smiled fondly. "Umhm. Don't worry when I give everyone else theirs, you will still have something from her to open up, she got you two gifts though she wouldn't tell me why or what it was."  
Fenris and Hawke started walking again. "I've never had a Wintersend present."  
Hake's smile faltered. "Well, you would have last year but the money from the expedition hadn't come through yet, I'm sorry."  
Fenris scoffed "No pity."  
Hawke lightly smacked his arm. "Not pity, remorse. I wanted to get you all something, but it would have meant taking off our food budget."  
Fenris chuckled lightly as he opened the door. "It's fine, Hawke."  
She went into her mothers room and found the wrapped package that had his name on it and took it out to him.  
Fenris saw the writing in to package. "F-E-N-R-I-S... It's my name." He turned slightly pink. "I should have known that."  
Hawke tilted her head. "What are you embarrassed about? You did great. I'm so proud." She was smiling brightly at him.  
Fenris nodded, finding joy in her pride, and headed into her room and got changed.  
It was a pair of black silk trousers and a black silk tunic with a red ribbon to tie the edges tightly closed. He wondered if the others clothes had such things or if the ability to have them so tight was restricted to him, whatever the case he was grateful. Lose cloth always irritated his skin and made his markings ache, which is why he never slept in clothing. Once he was dressed, and the ties tightened, he opened the door and swiched places with Hawke so she could change into her sleepwear. She came out wearing a green silk tunic with silver ties and trimming and matching trousers. Fenris loved it.  
Hawke played with the hem of her tunic. "What do you think? Is it good?"  
Fenris smiled. "You look beautiful."  
Hawke blushed, that wasn't what she meant but she was happy to accept it anyhow. "Do you want anything before we go to sleep?"

Fenris shook his head and shut the door behind him. Hawke to his hand and lead him to the bed where he climbed in and got himself comfortable while she went around the room blowing out the candles and drawing the curtains. When the room was ready for night time she climbed in after him and snuggled up to him, head on his chest and her arm around his stomach. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer, tucking her head under her chin. They said goodnight and drifted off to sleep. They both slept well, no nightmares for either of them, and had breakfast together before heading to the Hanged Man.

Everyone, save Isabela, was there when they arrived even Donnic.   
Fenris nodded to him. "Good to see you again, Donnic."  
Donnic "And you as well. Serah Hawke."  
Hawke told everyone what happened last night and what they were going to be attempting today. "Look, I don't want this to turn into a fight but incase it does, i want to hand out some orders so you all know what you're supposed to do. Anders: I want you to head to your clinic, both heal and protect anyone who comes your way."  
Anders. "Don't worry Hawke, I can handle it."  
Hawke "Merrill and Sebastion: I want you two to stick together and try to get as many civilians to Anders as you can."  
Sebastion "You can count on me, Hawke."  
Merrill "I won't let you down!"  
Hawke "Aveline, I would like you to come with me to face the Arishok."  
Aveline "There's no where else I'd rather be."  
Hawke smiled "The same goes for you two as well."  
Varric stroked Bianca. "Make that three, and what she said."  
Fenris smiled. "I remain at your side."  
Hawke "Oh, and Donnic you're not one of mine so you get your orders from Avie."  
Aveline smiled. "Donnic I want you to rally the guard to get the towns people to safety."  
Donnic "Yes, ma'am."  
The four of them headed to the docks while Anders goes to his clinic, Merril, Sebation and Donnic stay at the Hanged Man and wait for news.


	32. Chapter 32

At the compound.  
Aveline speaks to the Qunari guard at the gate. "I request an audience with the Arishok."  
Qunari "He will allow it, but not in this number."  
Aveline "I will only take my friend here, and a small complement of my guard. Is that few enough?"  
Qunari "It is. Enter."

They enter and approach the Arishok.

Aveline walks up to the Arishok, who is standing at the bottom of the stairs instead of sitting on his throne and is holding a weapon.  
Hawke 'I have a bad feeling about this...'  
Arishok "Shanedan."  
Aveline "Greetings, Arishok. We come regarding the elven fugitives that took refuge here."  
Arishok "Irrelevant. I would speak to Hawke about the relic stolen from my grasp."  
Hawke scowled. "One of my former companions stole it."  
Arishok "Her part is clear. Your admission... is welcome."  
Aveline "An issue for another time We're here for the fugitives."  
Arishok "The elves are now viddithari. They have chosen to submit to the Qun. They will be protected."  
Hawke "Have they truly converted, or are they just using you as a shield?"  
Arishok "They have chosen, and so have I."  
Hawke 'That sounds bad.'  
Arishok "You have not hidden the abuses of your zealots, or the corruption of this city. You will understand why I must do this. Let us look at your 'dangerous' crimanals. Speak, viddithari. Who did you murder and why?"  
One of the elves stepped forward. "A city guard forced himself on our sister. We reported him... or tried to."  
Hawke ground her teeth. 'Aveline, why did you bring me here?'  
Elf "But they did nothing about it, no matter what we said. So my brothers and I paid him a visit."  
Aveline "That doesn't excuse murder!"  
Hawke blew out a harsh breath. "Are these elves telling the truth, Aveline?"  
Aveline saw the anger in Hawke's eyes. "There have been reports. I will investigate, but they still took the law into their own hands."  
Arishok "Sometimes that is necessary. "  
Aveline "Like you avenged the viscount's son? It's wasn't right then, and it's not right now."  
Hawke clenched her fist. "If someone did that to Beth... I would have done so much worse than just killing him."  
Aveline angrily "Hawke, that's not helping."  
Arishok "Their actions are mere symptoms. Your society is the disease. They have chosen. The viddithari will submit to the Qun and find a path your way has denied them."  
Aveline stood her ground as the Arishok loomed over her. "You can't just decide that. You must hand them over."

The Arishok walked away, thinking, before he turned to Hawke. "Tell me, Hawke: what would you do in my place?"  
'I'm sorry, Aveline.' Hawke looked him straight in the eye, which was a difficult task with her being only an inch taller than Merrill. "They were cast aside by the system that was supposed to protect them, their actions are justified. They deserve a second chance, if I were you, I'd protect them."   
The Arishok smiled fondly at her. "Exactly so." His face changed to one of anger. "I cannot leave without the relic, and I cannot stay and remain blind to this dysfunction. There is only one solution."  
Aveline put on her most placating voice. "Arishok, there's no need for-"

The Arishok put up his hand cutting her off and walked away. "Vinek kathas." Was his signal to attack. The Qunari started throwing spears, taking out the guards. Aveline cut down a spear meant for her, and a Qunari with a blade rushed Hawke. She grabbed his arm to stop the blow then, with her dragon bone gauntlet, punched him in the face. She heard a sickening crack and could tell by the way his jaw hung she had broken it. Aveline stopped a Qunari from stabbing her with a blade and then cut his torso, his guts spilling out onto the ground.   
Hawke reached for her daggers, Aveline stopped her. "Not here! Too open! Go. Go!"  
The two of them, and what was left f her guard retreated, Aveline and Hawke were the only ones to make it out. Hawke stopped to glare at the Arishok, he admired the fire in her eyes, but Aveline grabbed her and mad her move. 

Her and Aveline made it to the meeting spot they had agreed on.  
Aveline "Can you hear it? The Qunari must be spreading out. They're attacking the city! Why? What could they possibly hope to accomplish?"  
Hawke grimaced. "You heard the Arishok. He's done playing nice, and damn the consequences."  
Aveline shook her head. "You may be right. Whatever it is we need to do something quickly."

They meet up with Fenris and Varric, as agreed.  
Fenris "Let me guess: Our friends from Par Vollen have decided to take over after all?"  
Hawke smirked and palmed her fist. "I decked a Qunari soldier and broke his jaw! Well, the dragon bone gauntlets broke his jaw, but still!"  
Fenris chuckled.  
Varric "As much as I love that, and I do love that, we have an invasion going on."  
Aveline "The Qunari are assaulting the city - and fast. The Arishok planned this for who knows how long."  
Hawke sobered "Right. We should make for the keep."  
Varric's brow furrowed. "Uh, Sparky, why would we do that?"  
Hawke "Well, if I was an invading army, that's where I'd want to be."  
Aveline "Right then. Let's move."

They meet no resistance until they get to Lowtown. When the fight starts the four of them get separated quickly, the Qunari are much more structured and well trained soldiers than the riff raff they're used to dealing with. Hawke is cornered by three of them, and they look as if she is beaten already, she just smiles viscously. Hawke falls into a crouch and slices her daggers outwards catching the Qunari on both ends on their thighs, slicing their femoral arteries. She rolls between The middle Qunari's legs and dodges the blow of his greatsword. He turns and she throws her weight into his, during his turn, knocking him to the ground where she proceeds to slice his throat. Hawke looks around and there is a Qunari sneaking up on Varric's blindside she throws her killing blade, laced in a paralytic, and it lodges in his back right below his shoulder blade. The Qunari falls before it has a chance to react, landing hard right behind Varric. Varric turns to see Hawke wink at him as she slices the Qunari's throat. Hawke turns her attention back to the field, Varric is no longer in danger, Aveline is dealing with two but holding her own and Fenris is surrounded. 

Hawke starts running she jumps off the body of a fallen Qunari, lands on a crate and uses the crate as a steeping off point to rebound off the wall and land in the middle of the group of Qunari surrounding Fenris.  
Hawke and Fenris are back to back.   
"Thought you could use some help!" She yells as she blocks the blow from a quarterstaff.  
"Healing would be appreciated!" He calls back as he swings his blade to take down a Qunari that has a couple of Bianca's bolts in it.  
Hawke nods and covers him in a healing aura, he has several minor wounds and a large gash on his leg, completely healing his wounds.  
Fenris parried a strike then countered, taking down another one. "You have my thanks."  
Hawke brings her full attention back to the field, dodging the jab of a quarterstaff spinning around to sink her blades in his back. The fight ended quickly after that, the four of them once again working in unison.

They stopped to catch their breath.   
Hawke looked around. "Anyone need healing?"  
Aveline looked at her funny. "What?"  
Varric raised his hand. "If you're offering, I'll take some."  
Hawke walked over and put her hands on him. "There I replenished your stamina as well, you're going to need it. I want you all to let me know when your stamina is low or you need healing, even for the minor wounds, because these Qunari are a lot tougher and better trained then what we're used too. This is going to be a long tough day, and I need you at you r best." She walked over and did the same for Aveline.

Aveline sighed in relief. "Hawke... that's amazing. I feel better than I did when this started."  
Hawke smiled and did the same for Fenris. "The truth is Avie... I'm a better healer than Anders, but I don't want anyone else to know."  
Aveline frowned. "Why not? No one in the group would turn you in."  
Hawke "I know that, Avie, that's not what it's about."  
Aveline nodded. "All right, it's not my place anyhow. Let's get moving."


	33. Chapter 33

After another grueling battle, they received assistance from some wardens In this battle and spoke to them afterwards.  
Stroud "We have not met I am Stroud."  
Hawke nodded. "I'm Hawke."  
Anabelle "Wait, Hawke, as in the Amell Scion?"  
Hawke's eyes widened as she recognized the woman from Ostagar. "You-you're my cousin!"  
Anabelle wrapped Hawke in a hug. "It's so great to meet you!"  
Stroud cleared his throat. "I apologize, but we have pressing matters that takes us elsewhere, we must be going Warden-Commander Theirin."  
Anabelle waved at him. "Yeah, yeah. You go ahead I'll meet you there."  
Stroud "We are Grey Wardens we cannot get involved in political matters even if we wish too."  
Anabelle smiled disarmingly at him. "Well, then, I guess it's a good thing I'm not staying as a warden. I'm staying as a cousin and emissary to the king of Ferelden. I think my cousin could use a very experienced arcane warrior and healer. I'll be there later Stroud."  
Stroud threw his hands in the air, apparently accustomed to her antics, and walked over to Hawke. "Take this, it's all I can provide in the way of assistance."  
Hawke "Spread the word, if you can, reinforcements would be welcome if we fail."  
Stroud nodded and left with his men.

Anabelle chuckled and waved goodbye. "So I think introductions are in order, can't fight next to someone if you don't know their name. I'm Anabelle Theirin."  
Hawke smiled and put her hands on Varric's shoulders. "This is Varric Tethras, and the love of his life Bianca."   
She walked over and gestured to Aveline. "This is Aveline Vallen, guard captain of Kirkwall."  
Hawke then hooked her arm in Fenris' "This is my best friend, Fenris, but it may take awhile before he warms up too you. He was a slave to a sadistic blood mage and Tevinter magister, so he has some understandable problems with magic and mages."  
Anabelle chuckled "Very understandable. I ran into some Tevinter bastards during the blight, they're dead now."  
Varric chuckled.  
Hawke smiled. "Right, let's move."

When they get to the markets they have to fight elven converts as well as the Qunari.   
During the fight a saarebas throws Hawke across the square, and she hits the wall with a sickening crack, she does not get back up.  
Fenris sees and runs towards her, slicing the head off the saarebas that is advancing on her. "No! I will not allow it!"  
Fenris' shout draws Anabelle's attention and she runs over to them. "Go! I got this!"  
Fenris glares at her. "I'm not leaving her!"  
Anabelle "They need your help now or we're all dead!" She looked him dead in the eye. "I promise she will be fine."  
Fenris had no choice but to believe her, and he went back to the fight though he stayed close to protect Hawke and Anabelle.  
Anabelle pushed her magic out an into Hawke, she was bleeding into her brain, Anabelle took out a dagger and made a small incision on Hawke's scalp. She used her magic to pull the blood out through the crack in her skull, then she healed the damage to her brain and skull and the small incision she made.   
Hawke began to regain consciousness. "Huh... what?"  
Anabelle put her hand on her shoulder. "Stay down, don't move, you were badly wounded. Let me finish healing you."  
Hawke nodded and Anabelle finished healing her, and once she was done Hawke got up, thanked her and went back to the fight. The fight ended quickly after Hawke and Anabelle rejoined the fight. 

As they were headed up the steps to Hightown Fenris came up next to Anabelle. "You have my thanks, for helping her."  
Anabelle "It was no problem."  
Fenris "For you, maybe not, but if you had not stayed to help... she may have died. So, thank you."

 

They reached the Hightown markets too find a Qunari dragging a noblewoman and one following.   
Sten "Parshara! Quit your struggling, woman!"  
The Qunari that was following spotted them. "Teth a! Bas!"  
Sten "Then the Arishok failed to take you captive, unfortunate."

They are able to defeat each wave of Qunari without incident, until a lone saarebas sends a spell that knocks all of them on their respective asses.  
Hawke gets to her knees, is looking for her daggers when she sees the blurry and wobbly saarebas coming towards her. She was trying to grab a weapon when he starts gathering a spell, when suddenly it goes out, Hawke feels the silence that was used on him and knows it came from a strong Templar. Meredith runs him through before cutting off his head, she then helps Hawke to her feet.  
Meredith "I am Knight-Commander Meredith." She scrutinizes Hawke's face. "I know you. The name Hawke has turned up in my reports many times, too many. You have a sister in the Circle, I believe."  
Aveline "It's good that we found you, Knight-Commander, the Qunari are-"  
Meredith "It's obvious what they're doing. The Qunari are taking people to the keep, and may already be in control. We will need to deal with them."  
Hawke "Why would they be gathering hostages?"  
Fenris "They are going to take everyone of import and put them in the same place. Those that agree to convert, live. Those that don't..."  
Meredith "Charming."  
Hawke "Always willing to help out in a life-threatening crisis, and I'll do whatever it takes to defend my home."  
Meredith "Good. Your skills will be sorely needed. Head to the keep and I will see if I can find more of my men. These creatures will pay for this outrage."

After several more fights, they are in the courtyard in front of Hawke's home, and Hawke is helping the First Enchanter to his feet. Anabelle cast a spell to see if any of the other mages in the courtyard were still alive, only one other was still clinging to life.  
Orsino "Many thanks, my friend."  
Hawke "You don't seem as badly injured as the others."  
Orsino "The others? Surely they cannot all be..." He looked around spotting Bethany, Who was being tended to by Anabelle. As Bethany moaned and sat up. "Andraste's grace!"  
Hawke sighed in relief as Bethany sat up. "Sister..."  
Bethany smiled. "I'm okay."  
Orsino "What were you thinking child? I told you all to run, to let them take me."  
Bethany frowned. "We had to do something! We couldn't just..."  
Hawke "It's a Hawke family reunion."  
Anabelle "And Amell. So you're the other Hawke I've heard so much of. From what I've heard you are very gifted."  
Bethany "Wait... you're Anabelle Amell?"  
Anabelle "Err... um, it's Theirin now, but yes."  
Orsino gaped. "You're the Hero of Ferelden?"  
Anabelle "Yes..." She looked up as Meredith came in.  
Bethany and Hawke hugged. "I'm so sorry about Mother, I tried..."  
Bethany shushed her. "Mother wouldn't want you to blame yourself, and neither do I, it wasn't your fault"  
Meredith rather flatly. "First Enchanter Orsino, you survive."

Orsino "Your relief overwhelms me, Knight-Commander".  
Meredith "There is no time to talk. We must strike back, before it's too late."  
Orsino "And who will lead us into this battle, you?"  
Meredith "I will fight to defend this city, as I have always done!"  
Orsino "To control it, you mean? I won't have our lives tossed to the flame to feed your vanity!"  
Hawke clenched her jaw. 'This is getting us nowhere.' "I won't have you two at each other's throats, we need to work together, I'm in charge."  
Meredith "You? You're not even of this city!"Orsino "Neither am I, yet I don't hear you complaining about us both fighting to defend our home."  
Meredith "Very well, then. But whatever plan you have, be quick about it."  
Bethany "You can do it, Sister."  
Orsino "Tell us, then: what is our course of action?"  
Hawke nodded. "We need to find out the enemy position first, then we can figure out the next move."  
Meredith "An excellent choice. Let's move quickly." 

There is a large gathering of Qunari at the keep's entrance.   
Meredith "They've already taken it over. Clearly they've been planning this for some time.:  
Bethany "Perhaps we should have been planning, ourselves."  
Aveline "I don't see any of my guardsmen."  
Meredith "Plan quickly, we have no time."  
Hawke "Orsino, do you think you can distract and draw them out into the courtyard?"  
Orsino "I can do that."  
Hawke "Meredith, I want you and your men to take cover in the courtyard hide until the Qunari are there, and then you keep them busy while me and my men sneak into the keep and end this."  
Meredith "Then that is our course of action. Let's get to it."  
Bethany "I'm coming with you, First Enchanter."  
Orsino and Bethany walked bravely into the keep's entrance. 

Orsino yells. "You will not conquer this city without a fight!"  
He Bethany throws some fireballs at the Qunari before retreating, the Qunari pursue. 

Hawke and her team slip into the keep behind them. Hawke gives a brief prayer to the Maker to protect her sister.   
Once inside, Hawke pulls the spear from a dead body, she stops Aveline from going up the steps. "Traps."  
Once the traps are disarmed the group is attacked by two waves of Qunari.


	34. Chapter 34

They make their way to the throne room, when they open the doors the Arishok throws the Viscount's head to the floor.  
"Here is your Viscount."  
Nobleman "You dare! You are starting a war!"

The Arishok nods to a Qunari soldier behind the noble, who then snaps the noble's neck.  
Arishok "Look at you. Like fat dathrasi you feed and feed and complain only when your meal is interrupted. You do not look up. You do not see that the grass is bare. All you leave in your wake is misery. You are blind. I will make you see! But we have guests."  
Hawke walks up to the Arishok with more fire in her eyes than Varric has ever seen.  
The Arishok's demeanor changes as he addresses Hawke. "Shanedan, Hawke, I expected you. Maraas toh ebra-shok. You alone are Basalit-an."  
Hawke walks to be toe to toe with the Arishok as he once again speaks to the nobles. "This is what respect looks like, bas! Some of you will never earn it!"  
He returns his gaze back to Hawke. "So tell me, Hawke: You know that I am denied Par Vollen until the Tome of Koslun is found. How would you see this conflict resolved with out it?"  
There is some noise behind them, then a Qunari stumbles in and falls to the ground. Isabela walks in, and over the Qunari. "I believe I can answer that."  
She walks over and hands the Arishok the tome. "You'll find it mostly undamaged."  
Arishok holds the book reverently. "The Tome of Koslun."  
Isabela "It took me awhile to get back, what with the fighting everywhere, you know how it is."  
Hawke smiles brightly at Isabela. "You came back. Thank you. I thought you'd be long gone by now."  
Isabela "This is your damned influence, Hawke! I was halfway to Ostwick before I knew I had to turn round. It's pathetic."  
The Arishok hands the tome to the Qunari next to him. "The relic is reclaimed. I am now free to return to Par Vollen- with the thief."  
Isabela "What?"  
Fenris "You thought you could strand them here for two years without consequence?"  
Aveline "Oh, no, no, no. If anyone kicks her ass, it's me."  
Arishok "She took the Tome of Koslun. She must return with us."  
Varric didn't think it was possible but the fire was back in Hawke's eyes, and burning much stronger.  
Hawke's voice dripped with venom. "You have your relic. She stays with us!"  
Varric "I'm sure he'll take that well. Rivaini? You might want to move a bit this way."  
Arishok "Then you leave me no choice. I challenge you, Hawke. You and I will battle to the death, with her as the prize."  
Isabela looked horrified. "No! If you're going to duel anyone, duel me!"Arishok "You are not Basalit-an. You are unworthy."  
Hawke nodded. "Alright, let's dance."  
Arishok "Meravas! So shall it be." 

The Arishok gave her a minute for her to talk to her group.

Hawke wrapped Isabela in a crushing hug, and whispered in her ear. "If I die, run, and run fast."  
Isabela squeezed her tighter. "You're not allowed to die, you still have to yell at me for taking off with the book in the first place."  
Hawke chuckled in her ear. "Aye, aye."

Aveline crushed her in a hug. "You are not allowed to die, you're the sister I never had, and I refuse to lose you."  
Hawke chuckled "I'll try Avie. You're a sister to me too. Every member of our group is part of our big dysfunctional family."  
"And if you die I will kick your ass."  
Hawke smiled and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, she did not wipe it off.

Varric pulled her down an inch so he could hug her. "Look, Sparky, you can't die: no one else can handle Broody, or make him smile... and Bianca would miss you. She doesn't want to lose two friends in one day."  
Hawke kissed Bianca's stock, and then Varric's cheek. "I don't plan on going down easy."  
Varric choked up slightly. "This isn't how your story is supposed to end, Hawke."  
She smiled at him "It's going to be okay, Varric, by the time the cart his body away you'll have me killing three of him with the flick of my wrist,"  
Varric put his hand up. "Let's be realistic, Hawke, there'll be four of him."

They laughed and she moved over to Fenris.

Hawke bit her lip. "With everyone else, this is so easy, I know just what to say, but with you... there's just too much to say, and not enough time."  
Fenris frowned. "Do not talk as if you are not coming out of this alive, Hawke."  
Hawke nodded. "I'm a realist, he's bigger and stronger than me, I've never gone one on one with someone like this before."  
Fenris grabbed her shoulders. "Then you use his size to your advantage, you can win through speed and agility. You have to win."  
Hawke swallowed the lump in her throat, and squeezed his wrists. "I'll try my absolute best, I promise you that."  
Fenris nodded "Then, that will have to do." And, before he could talk himself out of it, he gave her a scorching kiss that made her shudder down to her toes. Fenris gave a wobbly smirk as he headed up the stairs to everyone else.<

Anabelle pouted. "Now I'm jealous, Alistair didn't give me one of those before the Archdemon battle. Look... it would really suck if you died now, take these healing potions. They taste like shit but they're of a better quality than your average healing potion."  
"Thanks... try to keep Fenris from killing Isabela if I die, please?"  
Anabelle chuckled sadly. "So, you want me to go with you then? I'll do my best."

Once everyone was on the platforms above the main area, giving them leave to fight without distraction, they readied their weapons. Tala knew that he had the biggest advantage, and she would need help. So, she infused her body with mana allowing her to move faster and hit harder, she couldn't afford to leave her magic on the bench for this fight. It wasn't just her life on the line it was Bela's too. The naughty big sister teaching her how to have fun... and other things.

She darted at him, he put up his blades expecting an attack, she slid between his legs, jumped to her feet behind him and sunk her daggers in deep. He swung his hand around, the weight of his sword behind it, and knocked her into the pillar. The force with which she hit the pillar split her head open and cracked her skull, she healed the break with a thought. He pulled her blades from his back. She rolled to the side as he swung his sword down, deftly missing the blow. He began a seep with his blades, Tala bent backwards, dodging the attack and then cartwheeled over to her daggers. Grabbing them as she's upside down takes some skill, luckily she practiced this often and until she had perfected it, and she once again faces him with her daggers in hand. It is strange, she thinks, to fight someone who has such clear respect for you shining in their eyes. He charged she feigned left then spun right, dragging her daggers across him in the process.

Hawke 'I can't beat him toe to toe, I'll have to whittle him down. Small wounds add up. Maker... I don't know if I can do this.'  
She gasped as his sword came at her, twisting away she got caught on the pointed end of his axe, it cut across her chest leaving a gaping wound across the top of her breasts. She hears Isabela scream, as she flits into the shadows. The Arishok loses track of her, unable to find her even iW25890n the light of the throne room, and she heals all but the visible damage done to her chest. Hawke catches Fenris looking at her, or rather where he could feel her, the Arishok sees it too. He swings his weapons towards the ground catching the side of her right leg, ripping it open, she grit her teeth and again heals herself. Twisting around behind him she uses her magic to run and jump up the wall, using it to add her weight behind a fall. She falls through the air, daggers at her front, while the Arishok continues to swing around him. At the last second he move and she hits the ground, she turns her fall into a roll so It doesn't call to much damage. The Arishok hears her fall and turns on the spot, Hawke haw to use her force magic to slide herself out of the way of his blades. She stood, irked, she had done very little damage to him.

They circle each other.

Arishok "You are strong, you are what we will expect when we return."  
Hawke 'If I can't get close to him then I can't hurt him... If I can kill him before I die... then Bela will be safe."  
She charges on that thought, shocking the Arishok. He brings his blade out in front of him and jabbing at the last moment, giving her no time or room to spin away. She exhales and looks down at the blade sinks into her chest. Isabela screams shouting words Hawke can't make out as the Arishok lifts her in the air.  
Hawke turns to look at Isabela, crumbled and defeated clinging to Varric's coat, Aveline and Anabelle are holding Fenris back as he fights to get to her. She knows he is not thinking right or he would just phase to her... why does he need to get to her? Why is he here? Where is she? She turns finding the victorious eyes of the Arishok and she remembered everything. She grips her daggers firmly and uses the pikes on the back of her boots to dig into his flesh, pulling herself close and slits his throat. Blood coats her body, she wonders, how much of it is hers.  
Arishok holds one hand to his throat. "We will return."  
Hawke falls to the floor, with a gasp, when the Arishok drops her. 'He's dead?'  
She looks to the Qunari closest to her, he nods and motions for them all to leave. The nobles cheer her name, and she feels faint.  
Meredith walks in "It's over?"  
Hawke smiles and sighs 'It's over.' Then she slumps to the ground, unconscious.  
Fenris picks up the petite warden and jumps over the rail with her, landing next to Hawke. 

Fenris gently touches her face. "Is she going to be alright?"  
Anabelle "She... I don't know, she's lost a lot a lot of blood. We need to get her someplace safe where I can heal her."  
Fenris "Her estate, it's not far."  
"First we have to remove the sword, I'll use my magic to hold her organs to the side, I need you to pull it out straight and slow. Can you do that?"  
"Hold her."  
Anabelle held her upright, and when Fenris began to pull out the blade Hawke woke up. "Wha-aah... what are you doing? Fenris?"  
Fenris kept his eyes on the blade, keeping it level. "You are wounded, I'm am helping."  
Hawke relaxed after he spoke, shocking Anabelle even she hadn't been able to calm her friends when they were in similar circumstances. Once the blade was out Fenris strapped it on his back, Aveline had taken his before the start of the fight as a precaution, and he knew Hawke would want it.  
Ana sighed, relieved that the sword was out. "You can pick her up now, I'll just use my magic to apply pressure as we move."  
Fenris nodded picks her up, gently cradling her in his arms, and leads Anabelle to her estate.

Fenris takes her into her alchemy lab, laying her out on the table.  
Anabelle smiles at the ingredients, it would make helping her that much easier, and she needed all the help she could get.  
Aveline waved her hand at the pungent smell of herbs. "Fenris, how did you know this was here?"  
Fenris keeps his eyes on Hawke as Anabelle begins healing. "It is her great passion, she loves alchemy."  
Aveline shook her head and smiled softly. 'He really does love her, I hope this turns out well, I'd hate to have to watch him lose her. I'd hate to lose her period.'  
"Is there anything I can do to help?"  
Anabelle snorted. "No offense Guard-Captain, but you're more in the way than anything else, unless you're apostate versed well in healing, there's nothing you can do."  
Aveline smiled. "I'm not, but I know someone. I'll send Varric to get him, I must attend to this mess. Keep me updated, Fenris."  
"I will."


	35. Chapter 35

They make their way to the throne room, when they open the doors the Arishok throws the Viscount's head to the floor.  
"Here is your Viscount."  
Nobleman "You dare! You are starting a war!"

The Arishok nods to a Qunari soldier behind the noble, who then snaps the noble's neck.  
Arishok "Look at you. Like fat dathrasi you feed and feed and complain only when your meal is interrupted. You do not look up. You do not see that the grass is bare. All you leave in your wake is misery. You are blind. I will make you see! But we have guests."   
Hawke walks up to the Arishok with more fire in her eyes than Varric has ever seen.   
The Arishok's demeanor changes as he addresses Hawke. "Shanedan, Hawke, I expected you. Maraas toh ebra-shok. You alone are Basalit-an."   
Hawke walks to be toe to toe with the Arishok as he once again speaks to the nobles. "This is what respect looks like, bas! Some of you will never earn it!"  
He returns his gaze back to Hawke. "So tell me, Hawke: You know that I am denied Par Vollen until the Tome of Koslun is found. How would you see this conflict resolved with out it?"  
There is some noise behind them, then a Qunari stumbles in and falls to the ground. Isabela walks in, and over the Qunari. "I believe I can answer that."   
She walks over and hands the Arishok the tome. "You'll find it mostly undamaged."  
Arishok holds the book reverently. "The Tome of Koslun."   
Isabela "It took me awhile to get back, what with the fighting everywhere, you know how it is."  
Hawke smiles brightly at Isabela. "You came back. Thank you. I thought you'd be long gone by now."  
Isabela "This is your damned influence, Hawke! I was halfway to Ostwick before I knew I had to turn round. It's pathetic."  
The Arishok hands the tome to the Qunari next to him. "The relic is reclaimed. I am now free to return to Par Vollen- with the thief."  
Isabela "What?"  
Fenris "You thought you could strand them here for two years without consequence?"  
Aveline "Oh, no, no, no. If anyone kicks her ass, it's me."  
Arishok "She took the Tome of Koslun. She must return with us."  
Varric didn't think it was possible but the fire was back in Hawke's eyes, and burning much stronger.   
Hawke's voice dripped with venom. "You have your relic. She stays with us!"  
Varric "I'm sure he'll take that well. Rivaini? You might want to move a bit this way."  
Arishok "Then you leave me no choice. I challenge you, Hawke. You and I will battle to the death, with her as the prize."  
Isabela looked horrified. "No! If you're going to duel anyone, duel me!"Arishok "You are not Basalit-an. You are unworthy."  
Hawke nodded. "Alright, let's dance."  
Arishok "Meravas! So shall it be." 

The Arishok gave her a minute for her to talk to her group.

Hawke wrapped Isabela in a crushing hug, and whispered in her ear. "If I die, run, and run fast."  
Isabela squeezed her tighter. "You're not allowed to die, you still have to yell at me for taking off with the book in the first place."  
Hawke chuckled in her ear. "Aye, aye."

Aveline crushed her in a hug. "You are not allowed to die, you're the sister I never had, and I refuse to lose you."  
Hawke chuckled "I'll try Avie. You're a sister to me too. Every member of our group is part of our big dysfunctional family."  
"And if you die I will kick you're ass."  
Hawke smiled and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, she did not wipe it off.

 

Varric pulled her down an inch so he could hug her. "Look, Sparky, you can't die: no one else can handle Broody, or make him smile... and Bianca would miss you. She doesn't want to lose two friends in one day."  
Hawke kissed Bianca's stock, and then Varric's cheek. "I don't plan on going down easy."  
Varric choked up slightly. "This isn't how your story is supposed to end, Hawke."   
She smiled at him "It's going to be okay, Varric, by the time the cart his body away you'll have me killing three of him with the flick of my wrist,"  
Varric put his hand up. "Let's be realistic, Hawke, there'll be four of him."

They laughed and she moved over to Fenris. 

Hawke bit her lip. "With everyone else, this is so easy, I know just what to say, but with you... there's just too much to say, and not enough time."  
Fenris frowned. "Do not talk as if you are not coming out of this alive, Hawke."  
Hawke nodded. "I'm a realist, he's bigger and stronger than me, I've never gone one on one with someone like this before."  
Fenris grabbed her shoulders. "Then you use his size to your advantage, you can win through speed and agility. You have to win."  
Hawke swallowed the lump in her throat, and squeezed his wrists. "I'll try my absolute best, I promise you that."  
Fenris nodded "Then, that will have to do." And, before he could talk himself out of it, he gave her a scorching kiss that made her shudder down to her toes. Fenris gave a wobbly smirk as he headed up the stairs to everyone else.

 

Anabelle pouted. "Now I'm jealous, Alistair didn't give me one of those before the Archdemon battle. Look... it would really suck if you died now, take these healing potions. They taste like shit but they're of a better quality than your average healing potion."  
"Thanks... try to keep Fenris from killing Isabela if I die, please?"  
Anabelle chuckled sadly. "So, you want me to go with you then? I'll do my best."

Once everyone was on the platforms above the main area, giving them leave to fight without distraction, they readied their weapons. Tala knew that he had the biggest advantage, and she would need help. So, she infused her body with mana allowing her to move faster and hit harder, she couldn't afford to leave her magic on the bench for this fight. It wasn't just her life on the line it was Bela's too. The naughty big sister teaching her how to have fun... and other things.

She darted at him, he put up his blades expecting an attack, she slid between his legs, jumped to her feet behind him and sunk her daggers in deep. He swung his hand around, the weight of his sword behind it, and knocked her into the pillar. The force with which she hit the pillar split her head open and cracked her skull, she healed the break with a thought. He pulled her blades from his back. She rolled to the side as he swung his sword down, deftly missing the blow. He began a seep with his blades, Tala bent backwards, dodging the attack and then cartwheeled over to her daggers. Grabbing them as she's upside down takes some skill, luckily she practiced this often and until she had perfected it, and she once again faces him with her daggers in hand. It is strange, she thinks, to fight someone who has such clear respect for you shining in their eyes. He charged she feigned left then spun right, dragging her daggers across him in the process.

Hawke 'I can't beat him toe to toe, I'll have to whittle him down. Small wounds add up. Maker... I don't know if I can do this.'  
She gasped as his sword came at her, twisting away she got caught on the pointed end of his axe, it cut across her chest leaving a gaping wound across the top of her breasts. She hears Isabela scream, as she flits into the shadows. The Arishok loses track of her, unable to find her even iW25890n the light of the throne room, and she heals all but the visible damage done to her chest. Hawke catches Fenris looking at her, or rather where he could feel her, the Arishok sees it too. He swings his weapons towards the ground catching the side of her right leg, ripping it open, she grit her teeth and again heals herself. Twisting around behind him she uses her magic to run and jump up the wall, using it to add her weight behind a fall. She falls through the air, daggers at her front, while the Arishok continues to swing around him. At the last second he move and she hits the ground, she turns her fall into a roll so It doesn't call to much damage. The Arishok hears her fall and turns on the spot, Hawke haw to use her force magic to slide herself out of the way of his blades. She stood, irked, she had done very little damage to him.

They circle each other.

Arishok "You are strong, you are what we will expect when we return."  
Hawke 'If I can't get close to him then I can't hurt him... If I can kill him before I die... then Bela will be safe."  
She charges on that thought, shocking the Arishok. He brings his blade out in front of him and jabbing at the last moment, giving her no time or room to spin away. She exhales and looks down at the blade sinks into her chest. Isabela screams shouting words Hawke can't make out as the Arishok lifts her in the air.   
Hawke turns to look at Isabela, crumbled and defeated clinging to Varric's coat, Aveline and Anabelle are holding Fenris back as he fights to get to her. She knows he is not thinking right or he would just phase to her... why does he need to get to her? Why is he here? Where is she? She turns finding the victorious eyes of the Arishok and she remembered everything. She grips her daggers firmly and uses the pikes on the back of her boots to dig into his flesh, pulling herself close and slits his throat. Blood coats her body, she wonders, how much of it is hers.  
Arishok holds one hand to his throat. "We will return."   
Hawke falls to the floor, with a gasp, when the Arishok drops her. 'He's dead?'  
She looks to the Qunari closest to her, he nods and motions for them all to leave. The nobles cheer her name, and she feels faint.   
Meredith walks in "It's over?"  
Hawke smiles and sighs 'It's over.' Then she slumps to the ground, unconscious.   
Fenris picks up the petite warden and jumps over the rail with her, landing next to Hawke. 

Fenris gently touches her face. "Is she going to be alright?"  
Anabelle "She... I don't know, she's lost a lot a lot of blood. We need to get her someplace safe where I can heal her."  
Fenris "Her estate, it's not far."  
"First we have to remove the sword, I'll use my magic to hold her organs to the side, I need you to pull it out straight and slow. Can you do that?"  
"Hold her."  
Anabelle held her upright, and when Fenris began to pull out the blade Hawke woke up. "Wha-aah... what are you doing? Fenris?"  
Fenris kept his eyes on the blade, keeping it level. "You are wounded, I'm am helping."  
Hawke relaxed after he spoke, shocking Anabelle even she hadn't been able to calm her friends when they were in similar circumstances. Once the blade was out Fenris strapped it on his back, Aveline had taken his before the start of the fight as a precaution, and he knew Hawke would want it.  
Ana sighed, relieved that the sword was out. "You can pick her up now, I'll just use my magic to apply pressure as we move."  
Fenris nodded picks her up, gently cradling her in his arms, and leads Anabelle to her estate.

Fenris takes her into her alchemy lab, laying her out on the table.   
Anabelle smiles at the ingredients, it would make helping her that much easier, and she needed all the help she could get.   
Aveline waved her hand at the pungent smell of herbs. "Fenris, how did you know this was here?"  
Fenris keeps his eyes on Hawke as Anabelle begins healing. "It is her great passion, she loves alchemy."  
Aveline shook her head and smiled softly. 'He really does love her, I hope this turns out well, I'd hate to have to watch him lose her. I'd hate to lose her period.'  
"Is there anything I can do to help?"  
Anabelle snorted. "No offense Guard-Captain, but you're more in the way than anything else, unless you're apostate versed well in healing, there's nothing you can do."  
Aveline smiled. "I'm not, but I know someone. I'll send Varric to get him, I must attend to this mess. Keep me updated, Fenris."  
"I will."


	36. Chapter 36

Out in the main room.  
Isabela was sitting on the floor with her arms around her legs. "She never screamed, did you notice that?"  
Varric was stroking her hair soothingly, he only barely managed to keep her from heading to Ostwick after the fight. "She never has, I've seen her take bad blows without so much as a curse. I think she's just to stubborn to let other people know she's in pain."  
"She should have just let him take me..."  
Aveline walked out just in time to catch the last thing 'Bela said, and she saw red, she grabbed her by her arms hauled her into a standing position and thrust her against the wall. "You will never diminish what she did by saying that again, do you understand me? She protected you because we're family, the only damn family she's got now, so instead of sitting her wallowing in self-pity make yourself useful and go get Anders!"  
Isabela had never seen Aveline this mad, and she's seen her pretty mad, but this actually terrified her. "Yes, I'll do that."  
Varric pointed at the door. "I'm going to go with her. I assume you're going to deal with cleaning this up?"  
Aveline nodded and left.

Anabelle was beginning to run out of mana. "Shit! Do you have any lyrium potions?"  
Anders snorted from the doorway. "He is a lyrium potion. Wait-Anabelle?"  
Fenris snarled "That is not what matters, focus on Hawke!"  
Anabelle "Lyrium potions?"Anders handed her his last two potions and rolled up his sleeve, and started to heal Hawke. "Only two, but you can have them I'm at my limit."  
After fifteen minutes they were running out of mana and steam, Anders passed out and was caught by Fenris who gently sat him on the floor. "Is he alive?"  
Anabelle was panting. "He's exhausted, but he'll live, with rest he'll be good as new. I'm about to follow, if I can't get more mana and heal more of this..." She couldn't finish the sentence, the look in Fenris' eyes stopped her, it reminded her too much of when they learned how an Archdemon was slain.  
Fenris had spoken but it was barely above a whisper so Anabelle couldn't hear what was said. "What?"  
Fenris took a deep breath and spoke steadily. "Use me."  
Anabelle's eyes widened. "What?"  
Fenris removed his gauntlets. "Use me. Like the mage said 'I'm a lyrium potion' a very strong one without the risk of poisoning." He walked over and removed the bindings to the top pf her armor. Anabelle would, under normal circumstances, object, but these weren't normal circumstances and he was far too in love with her cousin for this to be anything but a way to save her. Once there was enough skin exposed for both of his hands to be in complete contact with her skin.  
"It works better if there is skin on skin contact."  
Anabelle breathed trying to focus with the lyrium surging through her, and he was only touching her. "I thought that was the case. otherwise you'd be on fire. Are you sure..."  
"Yes. Just... try. I don't know how to help you use them, the best I can offer is to go with your instinct."  
Anabelle sighed. He wanted this and she was in no position to talk him out of it, she after all considered using blood magic to save her love. "Okay, I'll do it, but only enough to remove her from danger."  
Anabelle sighed and stopped resisting letting the lyrium flow through her body, replenishing her mana and bolstering her magic. She had a hard time focusing, she healed the wound to her stomach until not even a scar remained, the rest she healed until the wounds were freshly scabbed and then stopped. As soon as she released her spell, Anabelle fainted. Fenris caught her and carried her to a guest room and laid her on the bed, he even did the same for Anders. 

 

When Fenris got back to the room Hawke was awake and staring at him.   
Fenris was too scared to address what happened, and so he focused on the logistics of getting her cleaned up and bandaged. "What do I need to dress these wounds?"  
"Are you hurt?"  
Fenris breathed through his nose. "No, you are."  
Hawke blinked blearily and looked down at her mangled blood covered armor. "Anders?"  
Fenris nodded "Some, but it was mostly Anabelle. Tala, I need you to focus, what do I need to clean and dress your wounds?"  
Hawke directed him to everything he would need, and sent him for water to clean her up. Fenris came back with a pitcher of water, and he added herbs to the water.  
"Wait, needs to be sanitary."  
"How do I do that?"  
Hawke waved for him to come closer, and put her fingers in it heating it up. "That's how. Let it cool while you get me out of this. Fenris, how bad?"  
"How do you feel?"  
"Hazy, fuzzy... not all here."  
"That's probably a good thing right now. You almost died... and not how you do every week. You only survived because you had two skill healers give you their all."  
She hissed as he pulled the armor from her skin. "I guess I owe people some 'thank you's'."  
Fenris frowned at her hiss and finished removing her armor. Her skin was mottled black and blue, it hurt Fenris to see her this way, he wanted to raise the Arishok from the dead just sol he could kill him himself. Once she was free of her armor he took a rag and began washing off her blood, he had to change the water three times before he got all the blood off and then once more to make sure there was nothing in her wounds to cause infections. He grabbed a blanket from the hall linen cupboard to wrap her in, she was naked after all, and he carefully picked her up to take her to her bedroom. When they reached the main room Varric, Isabela, Sebastian and Merrill were waiting.

Varric jumped up, the first to see them. "Is Sparky okay?"  
Fenris nodded. "She has some healing to do, but she will live. Anders and Anabelle are asleep in different guest rooms, and I'm going to take her to hers. I'll send Bodahn if anything changes."  
Varric nodded. "You know where we'll be. Come on guys, let Hawke get some rest."  
They left as he made his way to her room. Once in there he carefully pulled back the blankets and laid her in bed.  
Hawke smiled at him. "Can you at least throw some smalls on me?"  
Fenris opened the drawer she pointed out to find a plethora of silk and lacey things, his ears turned bright red as he searched for something to put on her.   
Hawke chuckled at the red on his ears and cheeks, she hadn't thought about that all she had thought was she wanted something to wear. "I'm sorry, I didn't think."  
Fenris reddened further at the knowledge she noticed. "It's fine... do you have any that aren't... this?" He emphasized his words by pulling out a pair of lacey and silken smalls. Hawke bit her lip, for some reason, she had never told him about that one shopping trip. "Yes, they're in the bottom. 'Bela insisted I buy the others... well the first of those."  
Fenris swallowed, he was having a conversation with her about her smalls, he pulled out a pair of white cotton smalls and helped her put them on. He then asked where to find a shirt, and she pointed him to another drawer. The first thing he pulled out was a long black sleeveless tunic, that looked a lot like his, he turned to Hawke to find her blushing with a bit lip. 'She got this because she liked mine so much?"  
"Going to help me put that on?"  
Fenris nodded and carefully helped her into the tunic. "I'll be in a guest room downstairs, if you need me."  
"No, please, don't go?" She phrased it as a question so he could make the choice.   
"Hawke?"  
"I... just, I would feel better if you stayed... and I think you would too."  
Fenris knew he would feel better, having her next to him, it would ease the tight knot that had appeared in his stomach from the first moment she agreed to duel to the death, "Yes. I will stay." He realized when he said it he meant it in more than just one way, not just in the bed for now, but forever he was hers. He still wasn't ready for more than friendship, when he looked up at her to see her eyes brimming with happiness, unshed tears and understanding.   
He smiled warmly at her. "Hawke..."  
He removed his armor, and at her insistence, he removed the leather tunic he wore with his armor even though he wore nothing underneath. She knew he was more comfortable nude than clothed and wanted him to be as comfortable as possible. He climbed into bed with her, careful not to move it to much or aggravate her wounds.  
She offered him her hand, which he gingerly took, and twined their fingers together. They both fell to sleep quickly, the events of the day catching up to them.


	37. Chapter 37

Fenris is squatting by a small pond. 'It won't come off! Why won't it come off?' He tries over and over to wash off the blood of his victims, his friends. He had killed them all, even her, how could he do that? "Hawke... Tala, why?"

He darted up at the sound of an indrawn breath. Hawke was sitting up next to him with teary eyes. 'I'm even hurting him in his dreams? What kind of friend am I?'   
Fenris went to get up and before she could think better of it she snatched his hand. "I'm so sorry, Fenris!"  
Fenris stopped, because of both her hand and her shouted apology. "Why are you apologizing?"  
Hawke squeezed his hand. "For whatever I did in your dream."  
Fenris looked at her with wide eyes. "What?"  
"You said my name, asked me why, I'm sorry for hurting you."  
Fenris scooted over next to her and got her to lay down, and then he removed her hand from his placing it in his hair.   
Hawke began stroking her hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
"It was the Fog Warrior's, only you and the others took their places. I wasn't asking why you hurt me, Hawke, I was asking why I hurt you."  
"Do you remember when you told me that Compassion turning into a demon wasn't my fault, it was James'?"  
"Yes..."  
"The same thing applies here, you are not to blame for their deaths, Danarius is to blame."  
"So you and Sebastian claim, but their blood is still on my hands."  
"No it isn't. Your first choice was running, you didn't make the choice to kill them you were ordered to and you never knew that you could disobey until you did. You didn't make the decision to kill them, and if you knew back then what you know now... you never would have done it. Therefore the blame for their deaths rests on his shoulders, not yours. I know pretty words won't fix it, or convince you, but you won't be able to convince me of your guilt either. I know that you would never turn on us no matter what Danarius, or anyone else, offered you."  
"How can you be so certain?"  
"Because that was Fenris the slave who followed those orders, you are Fenris the man now and your choices are your own."  
"You say it so simply, but it isn't that simple."  
"Okay, well how about this? The fact that you are still so haunted by their deaths personally motivates you to keep it from happening again. Does that make sense?"  
Fenris chuckled, more at ease the more she talks and strokes his hair. "I suppose that complicates it a small amount."  
Hawke chuckled then groaned. "Maker don't make me laugh. I'm barley holding together as it is."  
Fenris frowned. "Do not joke about that."  
Hawke frowned. "Fenris, what happened yesterday? I mean, I remember everything up until my head hit that pillar, everything else is kind of blurry."   
Fenris nodded "I'm not surprised, you lost a great deal of blood, what do you wish to know?"  
Hawke smirked. "Well, how I ended up in this state would be a good starting point."  
Fenris nodded and told her of the Arishok fight, his voice filled with so much emotion that it nearly strangled him at times.  
Hawke was near in tears just listening to him, it would take a long time for him to deal with this, her hand covering her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Fenris."  
Fenris looked up, unshed tears in his eyes as well. "What are you apologizing for now?"  
Hawke cupped his face in her hand. "For making you go through that."  
Fenris just closed his eyes. "It would be much appreciated if you did not repeat it."  
Hawke nodded. "So what happened after the fight? I mean before I woke up."  
Fenris told her what happened, but not the part about using his markings.   
Anabelle came in the room. "Oh! Thank the Maker you're awake. I was worried when I woke up in that bed because I wasn't sure if I healed you enough... I thought I did, but anyhow it's good you're awake."  
Hawke smiled. "Yes, and I have you and Anders to thank for that, it seems."  
Anabelle "Oh, so you already thanked Fenris, right?"  
Hawke narrowed her eyes. "I'm guessing you don't mean for carrying me, or grabbing the Arishok's sword..."  
Anabelle's eyes widened and she looked to Fenris. "You didn't tell her?"  
Fenris just glared at Anabelle.   
Anabelle threw her hands in the air. "Glare all you want, I'm telling her." She turned to a suspicious Hawke. "We didn't have enough lyrium potions, and I was running dangerously low on mana... so I used Fenris' markings."  
Hawke pulled a dagger from one of her hiding places by the bed, and glared at Anabelle. "You did what?"  
Fenris had never seen so much fire in her eyes, it was mesmerizing, but he had to reach over and grab her as she tried to get out of the bed.   
Anabelle was actually scared at the look in Hawke's eyes, which was quite the feat, luckily Fenris stopped her from doing anything.  
Fenris carefully pried the dagger from her hand, he had no idea where it came from or how she got to it so quickly. "I was my decision, Hawke."  
Hawke looked at him with big eyes. "What?"   
Fenris smirked at her. "I actually didn't give her much of a choice. I did it because it was the only way to save you, and I'd do it again. So don't kill your cousin."  
Hawke bit her lip and flushed. "I'm sorry Anabelle... I'm just err, protective."  
Anabelle laughed. "That's a word for it. Don't worry about it. I didn't really like the idea of using them either, but your lover was rather adamant."  
Fenris blushed and looked away as Hawke spluttered and turned bright red. "We're not lovers."  
Anabelle raised an eyebrow. "Really? Maybe you should tell your feelings that. Besides being someone's lover isn't purely about the physical, you know. Anyway, i'll leave you two alone, I need to talk to a certain warden."  
Anabelle left, closing the door behind her.  
They sat In an awkward silence for several minutes before Fenris broke the tension. "Do you think her to be right?"  
"I... I don't know. I've only had two experiences with that kind of thing, you and James, so i'm not much of an expert. What I do know is that what we are and aren't... well that is up to us, but I like how things are now."  
Fenris smiled. "As do I."  
Just then there was a knock at the door. "Come in."  
Orana came in with a tray carrying two plates that a meat pie, freshly baked bread, orange slices and hot tea one each. "Breakfast."  
Hawke smiled "Orana, you are an angel."  
Orana giggled and blushed. "No... is there anything else I can get for you two? Mistress Anabelle said you were not to leave the bed."  
Hawke huffed "Of coarse she did. Well, could you get us some books from the study?"  
Orana hesitated.  
"Say it, Orana."  
Orana blew out a breath. "Are you teaching Messare Fenris to read as well?"  
Fenris was surprised and looked to Hawke who was looking at him, her eyes asking him what to say. "She is."  
Orana smiled, bowed and left to do her task.  
Fenris peered at Hawke. "You are teaching her to read?"  
Hawke bit her lip and turned away from him. "After you told me that slaves weren't allowed to read I realized she probably didn't know how either, so I asked her if she wanted to learn... she said yes and here we are."  
Fenris chuckled. "Yet again you impress me."  
Hawke frowned. "Somehow that feels like a insult."  
Fenris looked at her wide-eyed. "It was not meant as one."  
Hawke chuckled. "Alright, I won't take it as one then."  
Fenris ran his hands through his hair. "I just meant, you are an incredible woman, Hawke. The more I learn about you the more impressed I am."  
Hawke blushed. "Oh."  
Orana saved them from further discussion by bustling in with an armful of books. She looked for one to the other and realized she had interrupted something. She put the books on the bed at Hawke's direction.   
Once she left the room Fenris remembered what he had seen last night and was to overwrought to deal with it. "Tala, I need to talk to you about something..."  
Hawke could tell by his tone that it was something serious and quite important to him. "Alright... ask away."  
Fenris fisted the blankets over his knees. "Why do you have lyrium on your wolf tattoo?"  
Hawke's eyes flew open. 'He saw that? Of coarse he saw that, damn I wanted to tell him when he was ready. Shite, and he thinks it's lyrium!' "No, it's not lyrium."  
"It looked like it... but I wasn't paying too much attention. If not lyrium than what was it?"  
Hawke breathed a sigh of relief, at least he wasn't so angry now that he knew it wasn't lyrium. "It's white-blue tattoo ink laced with liquid silverite: to make it look like lyrium."  
Fenris frowned. "Why would you want it to look like lyrium, and why would you want it on you?"  
"Because of you."  
Fenris cocked his head. "What do you mean?"  
Hawke tugged at the red favor he had even worn to sleep, something she suspected he always did, and smiled at him. "Because you accepted this. I wanted to have one too. So I added your lyrium lines to my wolf..."  
"But, Tala, it's permanent... what if I were to take it off one day, that would always be there?"  
Hawke smiled at him sweetly. "It doesn't matter even if you take this off it won't change my feelings for you."  
Fenris bowed his head to hide his flushed cheeks. 'She hides it well, but my Tala has a truly pure heart. She is like the angels in the old Tevinter stories. I'm in love with an angel, whose afraid of the light, she might have a broken halo but there is a fire in her eyes. She's made her choice about me, and is patiently waiting for me to make mine.'

The two of them spent the next two weeks just reading and talking. Anabelle spent a lot of time with her cousin, getting to know her. She left after a week, with a promise to write, and gave Fenris the task of keeping her bedridden for the week, and out of battle for the next month. Varric talks Isabela from skipping town in the meantime, though she still has yet to speak to Hawke since the fight. It even took Varric a solid month to get her to even go see Hawke.


	38. Chapter 38

Isabela stands in front of Hawke's room, Varric had told her she made a full recovery, but she remembers the fight and Hawke's almost death. The scene replays in her head as she reaches for the door, Hawke had heard her out there and waited a full five minutes, and the door swings open startling the Rivaini pirate. 

"Shit! Hawke!"  
Hawke chuckled. "Should I have knocked?"  
Isabela stuck out her tongue. "Oh, ha-ha. Very funny."  
Hawke smirked. "So to what do I owe this delightful, unusual visit?"  
Isabela smiled gleefully. "I found out where there was some hidden treasure, we just have to go find it before someone else does!"  
Hawke chuckled "Alright, but let's take Merrill and Seb. Merrill needs some air and time away from that mirror and Seb just needs air."  
Isabela peered carefully. "Not Fenris?"  
Hawke shook her head. "No, he has a job today."  
Isabela was uncertain if she should be pissed, Hawke seemed fine after all, but she was good at hiding things. "So is he on a job or a 'job'?"  
Hawke looked at her confused. "What?"  
Isabela put a hand on her hip. "Well, the last time he couldn't come because he had a 'job' was because he rutted with you and left. So did that happen again, should I kick his ass?"  
Hawke started laughing. "No, 'Bela. He really has a job, he take merc jobs now and again. Thank you for the offer though."  
Isabela grabbed her arm and dragged her into her room towards the armor. "What are we waiting for, lets get you into that armor!"Hawke deftly removed herself from Isabela's grip. "I can get dressed on my own, why don't you go get Sebastian and Merrill I'll meet you in the square."  
Isabela pouted. "Spoil sport."

Isabela, Merrill and Sebastian were in a cave with Hawke looking for treasure: according to Isabela. They dig up a box and open it to find: several badly written poems, and an old boot, again. On the way out of the cave they were attacked by giant spiders. One of the spiders jumps on Hawke from behind knocking her to the ground and sinking its fangs deep into her back, its poison leeching into her blood.  
'Well, that's not good.'  
She heard the twang of Sebastian's bow and the thwack of the arrow striking the spider, knocking it off her. Sebastian ran over, helped her up, and handed her a potion.  
“Hawke, are you okay?”  
She chuckled. “Been through worse!” She ran and jumped onto the back of the spider that was closing in on Merrill.  
Once the fight was over Isabela pulled an old trunk open. “Ah ha!”  
Hawke walked over. “Treasure?”  
Isabela pouted. “No, balls.”  
Hawke peeked over her shoulder to see scraps of paper as an old boot. She picked up a scrap of paper. “'You are the flower in the weeds, I'm the gardener and I pick you?' Are these supposed to be poems?”  
Isabela was holding one. “This involves a mermaid and an anatomical impossibility.”  
Hawke grimaced. “I don't want to know. How do you keep finding these?"  
Isabela gathered the poem’s up, wanting to show Varric, while the others left the cave.  
Once in the sun Hawke rolled her shoulders gasping at the hot spike of pain that ran through her back. 'Great, poisoned. Well once we get back I'll have Fenris help me drain it.'  
Merrill blinked at the sun, and then looked at Hawke. “Did you get poisoned by that spider?”  
Hawke grimaced. “I'm fine. I'll take care of that when we get back to the city.”  
Isabela sidled up to Hawke and smacked her in the back and she grunted inhaled sharply.  
Hawke stumbled forward and gasped for air. “Bela!”  
Isabela chuckled. “Right, we’re not going anywhere until you get fixed up.”  
Hawke grimaced. “I'll be fine, I can take care of myself.”  
Isabela put her fist on her cocked hip. “Andraste’s ass, Hawke! You're poisoned! You're not going anywhere until someone fixes you up.”  
Hawke glared at her.  
Merrill leaned towards Isabela. “I agree with Isabela, you need help Hawke.”  
Hawke fisted her hands and grit her teeth together. “I can take care of myself!”  
Isabela scoffed. “Look just pick one of us to fix you up so we can leave!”  
Hawke grimaced. “Fine.” 'Who should I pick… Merrill will be willing but ultimately incapable of keeping my secret… Bela is out of the question... This better work or I'll be hitting people.'  
She looked off to the side. “Sebastian, come with me. You two stay here.” She turned without waiting for an answer and walked away.  
Once they were far enough away, and out of sight of the others, Hawke spun around on Sebastian, her eyes sparking angrily, nostrils flaring. Sebastian took half a step back, uncertain what had upset her, a part of him frightened at her sudden change in demeanor.  
“Hawke…”  
“You told Fenris that you can hear confessions…”  
“Yes, that is true. Do you have something you wish to confess?”  
“No, what I want is to go back to Kirkwall and deal with this then, but we don't always get what we want. So consider this one, you don't get to ask questions, and after everything is patched up you will pretend you don't know this about me. Or I will snap that bow in half! Do we have an understanding?”  
Hawke's eyes were burning so fiercely and intently that Sebastian unconsciously reaches for his grandfather's bow.   
He swallowed and nodded. “Yes. We have an understanding.”  
She blew out a breath. “Good.” Hawke turned around and began undoing her armor, Sebastian respectfully averted his gaze. Once her armor was out of the way enough for her wound to be treated she called out to Sebastian. “All right, hurry up.”  
Sebastian was taken back by the hitch in her voice and the defeated tone that she spoke in. When he grabbed the injury kit, and turned towards her, he stopped in his tracks when he saw her back. The brilliant black wings on her back weren't enough to hide the lash marks that decorated her back. 'These aren't battle scars, Hawke, what happened…'  
“Move it!”  
Sebastian jumped. “Ah, yes!” Sebastian cleaned and dressed her wound as quickly and efficiently as possible. “I’m… ah. I'm done.”  
She nodded and began redoing her armor.  
“Hawke, I-“   
She growled. “Shut up. This never happened, and if you think otherwise, I'd be happy to punch you until you agree.”  
“Uhh..”  
She glared at him, her eyes so filled with fire and anger, that Sebastian was nearly certain that if he pressed the subject she wouldn't be opposed to follow through on her threat.   
'I suppose I just don't know her well enough for something like this yet.'  
“I'm sure that's not necessary. After all, I've spent the last few minutes cleaning spider innards off my bow.”  
Hawke swallowed, nodded. “Good.” She got up and walked back to others.   
The walk back to Kirkwall was strained between Hawke and Sebastian, but Isabela and Merrill talked constantly. They all went there separate ways once in the city. Sebastian and Hawke walked to Hightown together, while Isabela and Merrill headed off to the Hanged Man.

Once in the Chantry courtyard, Sebastian tried to make conversation with Hawke, only to find she was on the other side going up the stairs.  
'I thought she lived by the Keep?'  
He watched as she entered the most run down and dilapidated mansion in Hightown.  
Fenris heard Hawke enter, without knocking she only did that when upset, which was unusual. He came out to the landing at the same time she entered the great room.  
“Is everything alright?”  
She smiled at him wanly. “I'm glad you're back. Oh, I got bit by a spider, and the treasure wasn't there.”  
Fenris came down the stairs to her. “Are you alright, were you injured badly?”  
She sighed. “It was nothing I couldn't handle, but they wouldn't let me.”  
Fenris frowned, took her arm and lead her to his room. “Wine?”  
She chuckled, and took a swig from the bottle before putting back on the table. “Merrill and Bela refused to just let me take care of it when I got back.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed. “What happened?”  
“I had to pick one, so I picked Sebastian to patch me up. I figured it was the safest choice. Ha! You should have seen the look on his face.”  
Fenris made a fist, while looking at the slump in her shoulders. 'Me and that priest will be having words.'  
Fenris grabbed his current book off of the shelf as walked over and sat next to her.   
“Feel like reading?”  
She smiled at him. “Yeah. You really like that one?”  
Fenris nodded and handed her the book.  
She ran her fingers over the cover “I know why the caged bird sings, by Maya Angelou. You like poetry, huh?”  
Fenris blushed, rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly. “I find it pleasant.”  
She smiled “I was never much into it myself, but I like listening to you read it.”  
Fenris coughed. “T-the free bird leaps on the back of the wind and floats downstream till the current ends and dips his wings in the orange sun rays and dares to claim the sky. But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage can seldom see through his bars of rage his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing. The caged bird sings with fearful trill of the things unknown but longed for still and his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings for freedom. The free bird thinks of another breeze and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own. But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom.”

She smiled at him. “No mistakes. You're getting really good, too good.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow. “Too good?”  
She pouted. “You won't need my help soon.”  
“I-I doubt that, we've read this several times that's all…” 'Seventeen times...'  
“That's what reading is though, memory, you remember what letters make what shapes and sounds. You're an amazing student, Fenris, it won't be long till you don't need my help anymore. And these lessons will come to an end, it's a good thing.”  
Fenris eyed her. “Then why do you sound so sad?”  
She smiled softly, her cheeks tinting pink. “Because, I'll miss this.”  
Fenris frowned in thought. “Maybe they don't have to.”  
Hawke tilted her head. “What do you mean?”  
Fenris looked down to the book, tracing his finger along the cover. “Just because I don't need you to teach me anymore doesn't mean we can't still do this. We could just read together, if you want.”  
Fenris pulled his eyes from the cover to hers. She was smiling, and her eyes were twinkling happily. “I'd love that.”  
Fenris smiled. “As would I.” Then he took his eyes off her and coughed. “Hungry?”  
She chuckled. “Sure.”   
Fenris left the room to retrieve some of the goods he got at the market that morning, when his job had fallen through he decided to do some shopping.

Hawke watched him leave, her eyes lingering on the door after he was out of sight. 'So what if this isn't some romantic love story: where they declare their undying love and devotion for each other by shouting it from the rooftops. I don't need that. This is much better than that, and even if he never wants more, as long as he is in my life I'm happy.'

Fenris returned to the room with a tray full of food, and was surprised by the look of pure love and adoration on her face. He hoped that he would be able to return the favor some day, that he would be able to show his love to her so easily. She smiles reading his eyes like a book, making him blush. He remembers when they first met and he was unnerved by how easily she was able to read his thoughts by looking in his eyes, and here his is now: wishing she could see more. What strange a power she has.


	39. Chapter 39

A few months shy of a year after the Arishok fight, Isabela has been gone since the failed treasure hunt: she had been on dry land too long, is the anniversary of Hawke's mother's death. Sebastian is at the circle, helping Bethany deal with her grief, and Hawke told everyone to leave her be and let her grieve in her way and not force themselves on her. 

It was the one year anniversary of her mother's murder, and Hawke had refused company and jobs for the day. He had hoped she would let him be there for her like he was with Bethany, and after she returned after her mother, but she had asked the whole group to let her be and he wanted to respect her privacy, She had told them earlier in the week that she wasn't going to accept either, and not to worry, she’d be fine. Which is why Fenris is surprised to see her on his doorstep early that morning, just as the sun was rising.

Hawke bites her lip and shuffles her feet. “Hi.”  
Fenris stares at her curiously. “Hawke, is everything okay?”  
She flushes slightly and nods. “I just wanted you to, I've never asked anyone before, umm…”  
Fenris tilts his head and considers her 'What has her so flustered, and why is she here after making it clear to everyone that she wished to be alone today?'  
Hawke straightens and looks him in the eye, though her blush deepened. “I want you to run with me.”  
Fenris blinked “Run with you?”  
She nodded, twisting her fingers together. “Please?”  
Fenris sighed, and nodded. 'I never can say no to her. Can I?' “Is there anything I should bring?”  
She smiled shyly and shook her head. “No. Well, just your sword.”  
Fenris grabbed his sword, secured it on his back and followed her. They left Hightown, then the city, and were walking through the wooded areas at the foot of Sundermount. “Is this some sort of ritual for the deceased?”   
Hawke stumbled slightly at his sudden voice, neither having spoken since they left Hightown. “No. Well, sort of. But it doesn't involve magic, I mean I'll use it but… ugh. Sorry. I've never done this with anyone besides Father, I was too scared to.”  
They stopped by a stream, and Fenris was still unsure what they would be doing, and why it had Hawke so nervous. “Hawke, why were you scared?”  
She placed her pouch on the ground and was getting out of her shoes. “Mostly, I was scared of how someone would react. But, I was always a little worried about losing myself.”  
Fenris looked at her, brow furrowed. “Losing yourself?”  
She stretched herself, reaching towards the sky, then placed her hands on the ground and changed. Her wolf form stood before him, and in the light of day he could see her fur was not black as he previously thought it was the same dark brown as her hair, her head tilted down shyly. Fenris chuckled and crouched to her level.  
“So you wish to run?”  
She looked at him, eyes glistening in the sunshine, and nodded.  
“If I leave my sword here will I be able to retrieve it? After all, I can't run full speed with it on.”  
She nodded again. And he removed his blade, and the heavier bits of his armor, and readied himself.   
Fenris had a feeling she wanted an all out type of run, and if that’s what she needs, he wanted to give her that.

At her bark they took off running, full speed. Fenris dodged tree branches and roots, enjoying himself in a way he had not expected. He turned to look at her, fur gleaming in the light filtering through the leaves as she bounded off an overturned log, and found her beautiful. He couldn't imagine how any one could be disturbed by her wolf form, or find it anything less than glorious, but perhaps his own feelings for her clouded his vision.

They ran in a giant circle ending back at the stream where their things were waiting. Fenris was out of breath, and thirsty, when he sat down on the shore. Hawke began nudging her bag towards him.   
“There's something you want me to get in there?”  
She nodded.  
Fenris grabbed the bag and went through it, there was enough food and water for the day, but only enough for one person.  
“You want something in here?”  
She huffed and shook her head, then lifted a paw at him.   
“This is for me?”  
She nodded.  
“What about you?”  
She made a chortling sound in her throat, that he suspected was laughter, then went to the stream and began to drink.  
Fenris chuckled. “Fair enough.” He pulled the water-skin out and drank some water.  
When Hawke had her fill she walked back over to him and lied down.   
“Judging buy the amount of food and water, you mean to stay out here all day?”  
She nodded, scratched the ground, then looked at him.   
Fenris heard the question as clearly as if she had spoken it. “Will you stay all day, too?” He wanted to tell her he'd stay with her always, for as long as she wanted him, but he was not free to make such declarations. Perhaps, once Danarius was dead, he could become the kind of man she deserves.   
Fenris spoke through the lump in his throat. “I have no immediate plans.”  
She made the chortling sound again.   
His hand fell upon her head and he began petting her. They stayed there for a time, sitting in silence as he slowly stroked her fur, before her stomach rumbled it's anger at its emptiness. Hawke flushed in chagrin, pleased he couldn't see, she had been putting eating off even as he ate part of the food she packed for him.   
Fenris pulled some meat out of the bag. “Here.”  
She pulled her face away, wrinkling it, that was not what she wanted. For as long as she could remember, when in her wolf form, normal food disgusted her.  
Fenris pulled the meat back. “Then what are you going to do for food? I'll not let you starve.”  
She smiled inwardly at his protectiveness, but she had not planned on starving. She got to her feet and nodded towards the woods. Fenris put the food away, and made to follow her.  
She blanched and backed away. Vigorously shook her head. No. He couldn't see this! He is the one person to never show any fear or hesitation at her shifting, but if he sees her hunt, he'll find her monstrous. She couldn't live with herself if he thought she was a monster.  
Fenris did not like this skittishness, and he tried to make his voice as authoritative as possible. “I'm going with you."  
Hawke whined as shook her head vigorously, giving him a pleading look, begging him to back down.  
Fenris couches down and looks get in the eye. “You are beautiful, Tala Hawke. I see you. Do not be afraid.”  
Hawke whined but acquiesced. Her head hung low as they walked back into the forest. Fenris did not like upsetting her, or being the cause for the slump in her shoulders, but it was a better alternative to the shame and fear he saw In her eyes at the prospect of hunting for her food. They walked quietly into the woods for a time before Fenris watched her ears flatten and she bared her teeth, not good, that was a sign of aggression a warning. 

Two men walked out of the brush from behind a tree.   
Man 1 "Well, well, look what we 'ave 'ere. A knife ear, and his pet... dog?"  
Fenris bared his teeth, and wished he still had his blade. "Wolf, that's what she is, and thy are not fond of trespassers."  
Man 2 "Wha' do you think you're doin'? Talk to us with the respect we deserve."  
Hawke 'You mean none?'  
Fenris smirked "You mean none?"Hawke tilted her head at him.   
Man 1 "Lis'en 'ere knife ear, if you wanna live give all yur gold."  
Fenris blinked at him, unimpressed. "And what happens when I say no?"  
Man 2 pulled out a dagger. "We gut ya'"  
Man 1 held out his hand. "No, wait. Remember that paper we found the other day? I had a description of an elf like 'I'm."  
Fenris "That is surprising, here I thought you'd be illiterate."  
Man 2 "Whad you call me?"  
Fenris "Illiterate: unable to read."  
Man 2 "Ha! Shows wha' you know. I is iterate, I can't read."  
Fenris "That comes as no surprise."  
Man 1 "Well, you're comin' with us, we could use that bounty, back to slavery with you."  
Hawke growled menacingly. 'You won't touch him!'  
Fenris "What do you think your chances are? There are only two of you."  
The men armed themselves. "Pretty good. You aiun't got no weapons."  
Before anyone could make a move Hawke pounced on Man 1, locking her jaw around his throat and then shaking her head to tear it out, then she bit the leg of the other as Fenris drove his hand through his chest. When he pulled his hand free the man dropped to the ground.  
Fenris smirked own at her, her face covered in blood and viscera between her teeth. "You have something.. everywhere."  
Hawke whined and pawed at her face.   
"Cease and desist, I will get it."  
Hawke stopped and Fenris bent and picked the viscera out of her fur and teeth. "You're still covered in blood but the pieces are now gone."  
Hawke smiled inwardly. 'He groomed me... Maker if we were actually wolves... we'd be like married-er mates... whatever the wolf version is. He doesn't seem all that perturbed by it... so far. We'll see how the hunt goes, but maybe he won't be as put off by it as I thought.'  
She led him back to the clearing where she jumped into the stream, dipping her head in until all the blood was gone, and when she got out she shook of right next to Fenris. When she shook off the water from her fur it got all over Fenris, he tried and failed to act mad,and it sent him laughing. "Hawke!"  
She made the chortling sound and he just shook his head smiling.   
"So, is me coming along on the or is there going to be another fight?"  
Hawke tilted her head taking a moment to catch his meaning. "Oh! He means am I going to fight him on it, not 'are we going to run In to more bigots'.' She shook her head no  
He smiled. "Good. After that fight I'm looking forward to see you hunt."  
Hawke was blushing, not that he could see, but she looked down out of habit which told him that she was. 

They quietly walked though the woods for a time until Fenris saw her ears twitch and her head swing around, she found something. He looked in the direction she was staring in and saw a beautiful doe, he had a good vantage point where he was, so he stood as still as possible and watched as she quietly crept up on the grazing deer. She calculated the field looking for the best spot to sneak up on the deer. She lowered herself, haunches up, and pounced. The deer turned at the last moment so she only caught it on the back of the neck, the deer bucked throwing her off onto her back. Fenris wanted to go to her but knew she could handle herself and would not appreciate his intervention, besides he was here as an observer. She jumped back up and chased the doe down, Fenris following, she jumped onto a log and used it to give her a higher leap. Putting all her power into her legs, not using an ounce of magic, she bounded off the log and onto the deer taking it down to the ground. They scrapped with each other, the deer trying to escape, but she managed to lock her jaw around it's throat. She dug her claws into it pushing away from her while using her lock on it's throat to pull it towards her. Once she certain she had a good grip, that it wouldn't come out of her mouth, she started to shake her head ripping apart the deer's throat and killing it. 

The deer dead she got up, panting, she felt exhilarated like she always did after a hunt. A soft stepping noise alerted her to a presence, she turned to find Fenris standing there with a look of awe on his face. Awe, not fear, from watching her hunt.   
'But... how is that possible? There has to be something else... fear, are my eyes playing tricks on me?'  
Fenris crouched down, to be eye to eye with her, and smiled. "That was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. Hawke, why does it worry you so to have witnesses?"  
Hawke shook her head, not sure how to answer that even if she had the appropriate vocal chords, she grabbed the doe's leg and started dragging it back to the clearing that they were staying in. Once at the stream she ate some before going back into the stream to clean herself off. They spent the rest of the day resting in between the times the went for runs, periodically eating their separate foods and running all out through the forest.   
Hawke had her head on Fenris' lap and he was stroking her fur as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon, she removed her head and sat up. Fenris watched, still awed by her transformation, as she turned back into a human. Her ears shrunk into her head, the fur disappeared, her tail melded with her leg as it extended into a human leg and within a few short moments she was fully in her human form.   
Hawke smiled prettily at him, and then grabbed him in a crushing hug. "Thank you so much for today, for all of it."  
Fenris hugged her back. "It was truly my pleasure, Tala."


	40. Chapter 40

On the way back to Kirkwall Hawke was biting her lip and kept looking to and from Fenris.  
"Enough, Hawke, what is it you wish to ask?"  
Hawke chuckled. "I just am nervous to ask you."  
Fenris frowned "What are you so worried about?"  
Hawke looked to the ground and whispers. "I want you to be my escort to The Champions Ball...."  
Fenris stumbled and looked at her with wide eyes.  
"I knew you'd hate it."  
"That's not-Hawke, are you sure?"  
Hawke huffed "Would I ask if I wasn't, why wouldn't I be?"  
Fenris scratched his neck. "I'm an elf, Hawke."  
She raised an eyebrow. "So?"  
Fenris sighed 'She is going to make me spell it out for her, isn't she?' "And that might tarnish your newly acquired reputation."  
Hawke chuckled sadly "You know it kind of hurt that you know me better than anyone and you still think that I would care about that."  
Fenris flinched at the hurt in her voice. "It is how the way the world works, Hawke."  
Hawke shrugged. "Fenris I'd would rather not go to this at all, but it's kind of thrown in my honor, so I have too. I want you there because you make me... happy. I don't a shite what the nobles think, I want you there... if you want to. Do you want to be my escort?"  
Fenris smiled at her. "If you're sure that's what you want I will be there for you, escort you."  
Hawke sighed and shook her head. "But is that what you want?"  
Fenris chuckled. "It would be amusing to see all their faces when their Champion is escorted by an elf."  
"And they fear me as much as they revere me, if they say anything I'll use that to scare them... I already promised Aveline I wouldn't hit any of them."  
Fenris chuckled. "Smart woman."  
Hawke chuckled "Does everyone think I'm incapable of restraining myself?"  
Fenris raised an eyebrow at her.  
"I restrain myself quite often, thank you, I'm a mage remember no control means bad things... I just don't like some people. Or the things they say, and have to remind them not to be pricks."  
Fenris smirked "Like that guard you punched?"  
Hawke frowned. "There's nothing wrong with Donnic-Oh you mean the ugly one? Yeah, like him."  
As they made it back to the city and were walking to her estate they ran into Donnic.  
Donnic "The guard-Captain… Aveline… is a treasure. You have my thanks, Serah."Hawke smiled. "I also know twenty different toxins that will make your manhood shrivel and die."Donnic blinks and stutters. "Well that's… I, uhh don't know what to do with that."Hawke patted his shoulder "Treat Avie right and you'll never have to find out."  
Fenris coughed, trying to cover up his laugh. "So, Donnic, are we still on for cards Friday?"  
Donnic looked from Hawke to Fenris a few times before he replied. "Uhh, yes."  
Hawke smiled and waved. "Take care, Donnic."  
After Donnic was out of sight Fenris turned to her. "If Aveline finds out about that she's going to have your head."  
Hawke just chuckled and opened the door to her estate. Once inside her estate, they enjoyed a glass of wine by the fire.

Four months later Hawke is pacing back and forth in her gown, trying to stuff a multitude of daggers, poisons and potions into her overly tight gown. It was red layered and a dress, she only likes one of those things. Aveline is trying to get her to sit down so she can do her hair. 

"Hawke, no one is going to attack you at the ball, please stop stuffing daggers into your corset!"  
"But, Avie, don't you see? It's the perfect place for an ambush! Besides, there's going to be Orlesians there, Orlesians Avie!"  
Aveline rubbed her head for the hundredth time in an hour. "Hawke, I'm the guard captain I can't let you go fully armed into that ball."  
Hawke looked at her confused. "I'm not fully armed." And she continued trying to get a bottle of poison into her skirts.  
"Just sit down and let me do your hair and I'll let you keep everything that is already stashed on your person."  
Hawke stopped what she was doing. "Really?"  
Aveline groaned. "Yes." She groaned again when Hawke was actually thinking about it, though she did sit down after a few moments.  
Aveline piled her curls on top of her head, a style that looked effortless but took her quite some time. Orana helped Aveline and Hawke get wrapped in the last layer of their dresses, Aveline's was a forest green.  
Aveline looked at the finished picture of Hawke, long red dress, black kohl around her eyes, her lips tinted pink with strawberry juice and a pile of curls on her head. She looked absolutely beautiful. If she dressed like this all the time, like most nobles, she would have a gaggle of admirers. She would hate that. 

"Aveline?"  
"Yes, Hawke?"  
"I'm uncomfortable."  
Aveline chuckled. "Yes, that's normal."  
Hawke made a face. "Then why do it?"  
Varric came in. "Hate to interrupt or heroin's moment of crisis, but her date is here."  
Hawke's heart sped up 'The one good thing about this night.' And she rolled her eyes at Varric. "He's me escort not my date, there's a difference."  
Varric "Right, you're just friends."  
Hawke rolled her eyes. "That's right, Varric, we're just friends." She walked out before she could get sucked into another 'what Fenris and I are and aren't' conversation with him. She walked out onto the balcony her eyes landing on Fenris. He was wearing an Orlesian tailored silk suit that is tightly fitted, for his comfort of course, that accentuates his muscles and shows just how muscular he is. 'Oh my...'  
He was in a similar state at seeing her all dressed up.  
Varric looks them. "Yeah, because that's how 'just friends' look at each other."  
Hawke turns to glare at him. "Beat it dwarf."

Varric feigns a shot to the heart then chuckles.  
Aveline walks over Donnic. "We should get going. You look well, Donnic."  
Hawke chuckles and extends her hand to Fenris who threads it through his arm. The five of them head to the De Launcet Mansion.  
Once Aveline and Varric were in a discussion with Donnic Fenris leans over. "So, just how armed are you?"  
Hawke smirks. "I got Aveline to allows me to keep it... well, not all of it but more than she knew. I'm prepared for almost anything... almost."  
Fenris shook his head and chuckled. "You expect the world to end at a ball? No, wait, with your track record it probably will."  
Hawke smiles "That's what I said!" 

They walk up to the doorman.  
Hawke fidgeted. "I'm Hawke-"  
Fenris put his hand up, silencing her, and announced her properly. "The Champion of Kirkwall-"  
"Being escorted by the brave Sir Fenris."  
Fenris looked at her with a sharp look, she just smiled. He no doubt had a much more ambiguous announcement planned for himself.

They were announced and walked into the hall, Fenris could feel the slight shudder of her frame, she hated the light, hated everyone's eyes on her. He pulled her closer to him, giving her his support, and it helped her stand taller, walk straighter. No one but Fenris could tell of her discomfort, which he was glad for, she gave the nobles enough ammunition as it was.  
Once the meet and greet was over Varric insisted on dancing with Hawke.  
Varric "Broody's looking good tonight, huh?"  
Hawke sighed "Varric, while I don't really mind your prodding, but please stop with your remarks about Fenris and I's relationship."  
"That relationship of just being friends?"  
"Yes, why must you keep doing this?"  
"Because I don't want to see you two end up like me and Bianca."  
"That's not up to you Varric."  
"Broody's actually happy with you..."  
Hawke sighed. "And that makes me happy, yes, but he's not in a place right now where he can be anything more than my friend. Both himself and Danarius, what I wouldn't give to have him at my mercy for a week, stand in the way of that. Remember, Varric, he's only been autonomous for what five-six years. He needs to figure out who he is and where he stands for himself before he can commit to anything more than friendship, I just wish I realized that before I almost destroyed the best thing that's ever happened to me."  
Varric smirked. "You do realize you're in love, I hope?"  
"Of course, and he knows too."  
Varric's eyes widened. "What, you told him?"  
"Yes."  
"How did he take that?"  
"He knows that I'll wait until he's ready, and if he decides to go in a different direction I will respect his choice."  
"Wow. Damn, Sparky, you really alright with that?"  
She looked at him, the truth shining in her eyes. "Yes." He admired her she loved Broody so much and yet was willing to give him the space he needed... Broody was the luckiest damned man in Thedas. He hope the elf realized just how lucky he was. The dance ended and Varric walked her back to Broody, who had a group of women around him.

Older woman. "So how much?"  
Fenris "Excuse me?"Old Woman "How much is that Ferelden woman paying you for the night?"  
Hawke tapped her shoulder and the woman turned around to see the fire that brought the Arishok to his knees. "Because I promised the guard captain I wouldn't punch anyone tonight, you'll be spared a black eye, but my friend is not a body bought for the night. He is a man, a free man who made the choice to escort me to this ball, he is here as an equal. Try to treat him like that again, well, there are ways around not punching people. Nightshade, for instance, did you know that just drop in your glass or on your food won't cause death... you'll just wish it did,"  
The old woman had gone completely pale and looking at her drink suspiciously.  
Hawke giving her a bladed smile. "Now, apologize to my friend or watch your food and drink for the rest of the night, your choice."  
The old woman swallowed. "I humbly beg your forgiveness, milord, I did not mean to offend."  
Hawke made a shooing motion. "You can leave now."  
The old woman runs away.  
Fenris turned to Hawke. "You did not have to do that."  
Hawke "You're here because I asked you to escort me. I'm not going to let anyone talk down to you like you don't belong here, you have more of a right to be here than any of these noble fops."  
Fenris shook his head and smiled. "Best not to say that around said noble fops."  
Hawke chuckled. "You say that like I should give a kaffas what they think."  
"Swearing in Tevene now?"  
"It keeps them on their toes."

 

A few months later Varric comes to Hawke's estate, barges in Bianca in one hand a paper in the other. "Hawke!"  
Hawke and Fenris come out of the study ready for a fight. Hawke was on a merchant guild hit list, Varric showed her the paper. 

With some snooping around they learned that her uncle got into an investment scheme with some merchant class businessmen. They took a lot of peoples coin in order to arrange the import of wandering hill, from the Anderfels. A delicacy, or so they found out. The weird food alive, and one of them wandered off in the middle of the night. The guild had traced the shipment to her uncle, who was so far in debt he couldn't see daylight. Hawke had a plan to deal with the guys they were sending after her, Fenris didn't like it. 

So when the guys sent by the Carta, five big dusters, showed up armed to the teeth when they kick open the door Hawke yells at them. "You're just in time." And drags them over to a game of wicked grace. They played two hands of cards before Aveline's guards showed up to take them away. Two of them even became regulars at their weekly game.

Reading time with Fenris, healing with Anders, Learning elven history from Merrill, guarding with Aveline, volunteering at the chantry with Sebastian, talks and drinks with Varric and Wicked Grace with them all once a week. The next year passes this way, quietly, rebuilding. But the tensions between mages and Templars is building.


End file.
